I'm agnostic, his family is Catholic- who to officiate?

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
1867 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I don’t know if its possible for your situation, but when I get engaged I plan to ask the priest who married my parents and a lot of other relatives to marry us. I don’t go to his church, and I don’t know him well, but he is close with my parents and grandmother, so it will be special. Maybe you can see if your FILs are still in touch with the priest who married them? That way you can say you’d like to follow in their tradition or something. 

Post # 5
Member
2537 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

If his family is devoutly Catholic (as in attends weekly Mass & active in their parish) they likely won’t be happy with anything other than a Catholic wedding.

My Fiance and his family are devoutly Catholic and we’re having a Catholic service in the Roman Catholic Church but without the Mass.  Let’s just say I’d rather not have it there.

 

Post # 7
Member
1443 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - parent's backyard

@Jw1724:  what if you just got an officiant that is not specifially religion affiliated, but who is special to you and your SO? like a friend, favorite cousin, favorite teacher, etc? you could ask him or her to read some nice bible passages. 

Post # 8
Member
1867 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Ask her if she has one in mind then. Tell her you’re open to the idea if she would be able to recommend someone. That way you don’t have to do all the searching. If she’s unable to come up with someone I’d just choose someone you’re comfortable with regardless.  At least you tried to accommodate their wishes. 

Post # 9
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Do you have a good family member or family friend that can get ordained? 

My fiance and I aren’t very religious either but we are both spiritual. We didn’t want to have a religious wedding and didn’t feel comfortable having anyone else do it.. so we asked my Uncle if he would do it. He was ordained and will be doing our wedding and now a few others. He’s a writer and an amazing speaker so he’s perfect for it. 

Post # 11
Member
2537 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Jw1724:  Honestly, if they aren’t devout, then I think you should do what you and your SO want.

Post # 14
Member
1443 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - parent's backyard

@Jw1724:  that sounds nice. I hope it works out!

Post # 15
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m getting married Catholic (FI and I are), and you have to go through a checklist with the priest, and unless you outright lie to him, a Catholic priest will not marry you. Have you been baptized & confirmed? Do you plan on raising your kids catholic? If you don’t answer how they like, they probably (though I can’t guarantee) won’t want to marry you. I agree with PPs to do what you and your FI are comfortable and happy with.

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