(Closed) I'm also going to write an I hope it happens soon post!

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Hostess
3000 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

positive vibes going your way!! I am bitter enough for the both of us Smile

Post # 6
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee

Sending you warm thoughts and happiness to you Maria.  Been following your posts for a while.  πŸ˜€

Post # 8
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee

@MariaW Thank you Miss Maria πŸ˜€  Hope you have a fantastic week too.

Post # 9
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee

Sending lots of positive “get engaged soon” vibes your way!

Post # 11
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Good Luck, Maria! I don’t think it’s weird to have a back-up plan….especially since you’re not expressing “doom and gloom” about it…you seem to have a clear, positive thought process. I look forward to hearing updates to your story!

Post # 12
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MariaW:  I think this is smart. I think this is also all just part of Mr Bee’s Plan. Do you think that would work with your SO? Solo vacation, I am going to back 100%. My guy sounds very much like yours, huge procrastinator paired with a huge, huge planner. I think what often helps kick them up the butt and get a move on is:

a) can you get his Mum or Dad to speak to him about why you guys aren’t engaged yet? I know you guys aren’t as young as us, but what sounds like nagging and pestering from you sounds like DO IT from a parent πŸ˜‰

b) tread that fine line between being an independent, stable woman capable of holding your own and pushing him away and making him feel like you aren’t invested in the relationship

c) if you are planning to leave and he has no idea, depending on how close it is, you might have to pull out the ultimatum card. If you would 200% rather marry him than walk out, then don’t quit without a warning. Tell him you won’t stay past x timeline date without a proposal, lay it all out really clear, want to be engaged by x, get married by x, have kids by x. As a non planner he may not have seen it all laid out like that….

Good luck I’ll keep looking out for your posts and cheering you on when you get engaged πŸ˜‰

Post # 14
Member
2861 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MariaW:  positive vibes on the way

Post # 15
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MariaW:  So did you flat out just say “No, SO, I’m going alone” – you definitely need to be clear with him.

Hahaha love you but don’t speak the same language, that is almost a good problem to have!!! Next year? When is your timeline up? I know what you mean about being extreme either way πŸ˜‰

Now reading c, I just think, wow. Hmmm, I will share one last tip and this is totally up to you, but my SO told me when we first started dating he doesn’t believe in getting back together, once it is over, it has ended for a reason and you move on. I was a serial on offer so I took that to heart. Now I realise he never remembers anything he says like I do, but I believe it is one of the reasons why we have never broken up or gone on a break even through our worst issues. If your SO thinks it is cute for him to come back when you leave, when this is a really big deal for you, then I think you need to lay out a similar rule: “if I walk, it is over”

I don’t understand “not ready” at all. They want to be with you? What’s the big deal in putting a ring on it then?! They are already committing all their time to being with you, so just sign right here and make it official. You know?? It’s like making him wait years to have sex, if he wanted something that bad, you would make it happen for him, so man up and put us out of our suffering already!

Just my 2 cents πŸ™‚ Again, good vibes your way and I totally think it will work out for you. xxx

Post # 16
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Sending you happy thoughts my dear!!  I get it… I’m a planner too- a failure to plan is a plan for failure!!  I think that’s what makes waiting so hard!!  Hoping you won’t need to implement Plan B!! <3

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