Post # 1
My father passed away 11 years ago. I always wanted a father daughter dance, he told me on one fishing trip that was going to be nervous for the day I get to dance with you…. OK stop crying now… (wipes tears away)…My dad and neighbor would always hanging out and was always told that he was my “second dad” SO, I am walking myself down the aisle but I was thinking of still doing a father daughter dance, with my neighbor… at the reception location they had a projector I was going to have childhood photos of me and my father and then have a pre-recorded “ daddy I love you, and I know you will always be with me, because a part of me is always with you. (wipe more tears away)
There is a song that would be nice for a father daughter dance, then there is a I miss you song…that I would Love to play
(if he was here) Heartland – I loved her first – this song came on when I picked my wedding dress… IF my dad was here I would love this song…
(Because hes gone)-One Sweet Day- Mariah Carey &. Boyz II Men
The reason I like that is because its much like our relationship now, hes not here anymore and I hope he’s in heaven (even though im on the fence of heaven/hell/god/afterlife)
Post # 3
@AndysCraftsNmore: I personally wouldn’t do anything because it would be too emotional (in a bad way) and I wouldn’t want that hanging over my head on my wedding day. There is no stand in for my dad, so I would just skip this.
I can somewhat understand because my dad is very ill. We have changed our wedding plans to accomdate his attendance but there is always a chance he won’t make it. I hope every single day that doesn’t happen but I would never have anyone stand in his place. I wouldn’t feel right about it. That’s just me though.
Post # 4
I love Heartland- I loved her first, that’s going to be one of my father/daughter dance (I have bio and step dad). I’m sorry about your father passing, and can only imagine how hard this is on you. I think if you want to dance with your neighbor since he is like your second dad…you should go for it. But I do love the idea of playing a song in memory of your dad…I think thats super sweet. You don’t have to dance with your neighbor for the father/daughter dance…you can still dance with him, but also do the song in memory for your dad. If you decide to do the dance, I voted for the Mariah Carey one…I think Heartland is a beautiful song…but maybe you can dedicate that song in your dads memory instead of dancing to it w ur neighbor? Its a hard decision no matter what you decide, but it will be wonderful regardless.
Post # 5
@AndysCraftsNmore: What do you want as a memory more? Which song 10,20 years from now when you think of your wedding will bring you joy and not sorrow?
Post # 6
i was just going to do the photo charm in my flowers and be ok with that, but my mom keeps asking what am i going to do about daddy…hes not here he can’t come…At the ceremony we are going to have a metal trellis with picture frames of people we both love and would have loved for them to attend, we are having that in the entrance as guests walk into the ceremony site, with a small reading “Those we love don’t go away they walk beside us every day, unseen unheard but always near still loved still missed and very dear.” before the ceremony starts have someone take it to the front so guests/FI/I can see it as we miss everyone so very much. Also have the Officiant make a note of the ones we missed(we are not having programs so it will be spoken) it will then be taken to the reception location.
I did want to have a song played for my father. Or something…
Sorry to hear about what you are going through, hopefully he is not suffering. That is the worst part. Besides you in emotional pain, them in physical…
Post # 7
I wouldn’t do anything. I was almost going to check One Sweet Day, but that would make me lose it. My friend lost her dad a year before her wedding and they recognized him by lighting a candle and playing his favorite song before the mother gave her away to her now husband. Nothing else was said.
My FI’s dad died in 2004 and we are trying to determine how to pay respects to him. We were thinking of a quick toast (and whiskey was his name-o) or just an 8×10 of him at the bar. It is all how you want to do it. It is your father and he will be with you regardless. I am sorry for your loss
Post # 8
@AndysCraftsNmore: I think having a special dance with your neighbor is a great idea. My friend got married a few weeks ago. She lost her mom close to 20 years ago, and she decided to have a dance with her brother. I SOBBED throughout their entire dance like a crazy person, but it was SO sweet.
My mom and brother passed away before my wedding. I had pictures in my bouquet and a note at the bottom of my programs for them. Had my brother been around or anyone I considered to be a “second mom” to me I 100% would’ve done a dance with them
Post # 9
Sorry for you loss and how hard this is for you.
I voted One Sweet Day – but only if you think you are up to it. Would be very emotional and you want to honor your dad. What do you think your dad would want you to do?
Post # 10
No one could ever fill my Daddy’s shoes. But if there was someone else who was there for me I would definitely do something at the wedding. I have no opinion about the song but I think it’s a super sweet gesture to honor a guy who’s been there for you.
Post # 11
My father passed away as well and I don’t plan on doing anything on my wedding day (or over the course of the entire weekend) like this because I think it turns the event into a memorial service rather than a wedding celebration. You will know your feelings that day and how much you miss your father, as will your family and friends (and your fiance) and anyone else who knows you. Plus once you do something like that the entire mood changes for the rest of the event and it’s hard to get past it (and you don’t want the only thing people remember about your event was how you had a memorial service for your father in the middle of it do you?). I don’t mean to be harsh but that’s the reality of it :-/.
Post # 12
@AndysCraftsNmore: I think you could do both songs.
Start off with I Loved Her First while you start the photo display, but don’t dance this part. Did your Dad have a special chair you could sit in and just be remembering your Dad? Or can you bring in a rocking chair? Or, you could just stand on the sidelines with your husband and mother. You don’t have to play the whole song. Just a few bars will do.
I would insert your recorded greeting here,then switch to One Sweet Day and have your neighbor come in and take your hand to dance. Try to find a version of One Sweet Day that was recorded more uptempo.
I also suggest you have it pre-arranged for the wedding party to join in for the last 1/2 of this song, then wave in the rest of the guests when there are just a few bars left.
Fade the song out before Mariah sings the last few slow bars .Have your DJ move right into an uptempo dance to brighten the mood for the guests immediately.
Post # 13
I think it might be a bit weird and confusing to people if you do the father/daughter dance with the neighbor. Especially if it’s sad and emotional and you have the slideshow. Some people may wonder who the heck you’re dancing with.. or think he’s your dad.
I don’t like getting too emotional in public, so I’d find the whole thing incredibly stressful and awkward… like PP have said, it could put a damper on your entire night. And you don’t want guests to feel sad and uncomfortable either.
I’m all for lighting a candle to honor him or something, but this just seems a bit over the top… to me at least. I think your heart is in the right place, and if your dad is looking down on you, he’ll be really proud 🙂
Post # 15
Seriously, I can’t even hold back the tears right now just reading this. I’d be a mess watching you dance to any of those songs.
Maybe you should do a slideshow which starts with One Sweet Day and some pictures of you and your dad and then segue’s into some childhood pictures of your FI and then some pictures of the two of you together – I would pick 3 songs and do like 1-1.5 min clips of each song.
Post # 16
my father passed when i was 17 and when i got married i decided to have my brother and i dance. i let him help me pick the song. since my mom is portugese i kept it light and picked on of those. something he was able to shine at him self. cuz im really close with him but..
i really thought about picking the song “im all ready there.”by lonestar so sad though. it goes.
the little girl asks” when are you coming home daddy” and he says
I’m the sunshine in your hair
I’m the shadow on the ground
I’m the whisper in the wind
I’m your imaginary friend
And I know I’m in your prayers
Oh I’m already there
##sniff sniff tear# had to share that. my dad used to travel for work a lot so it really does hit home even before. i just didnt want to bawel my flipping eyes out. so i kept it to myself. that and i knew my mom would have baweled too.
but the priest who married us new my father. i had his mother ring. my DH had his cufflinks. we also lit a candle in the church and had my fav picture of him there framed.
the song doesnt just make me sad it makes me happy knowing its all true. also i would give two cents about what the guests think about it. do what feels right for you and your family.