Post # 1
I’m wondering if anyone else out there feels like they have less and less control over everything involved in their wedding.
I told my mom that I didn’t want a big bridal shower (I didn’t want one at all really, but knew that it wouldn’t fly to not have one). I told her I wanted it small no bigger than 20 people. Then my FMIL offered to have one for in her state so that her side of the family wouldn’t have to travel from RI to NY. My mother said sure. Then proceeded to invite more family (that we literally only see at funerals) to come to the shower. At the last minute. I’m sure my wonderful MOH was thrilled with this. I love my mom but she’s hands down the most disorganized person on the planet as well so half of the invites were returned because there was no such address.
Then I call to schedule my hair trial for a few weeks from now as well as my appts for me and my girls on my wedding day and the receptionist at this very expensive high end salon was unbelievably incompetent. I think the village idiot has at least 50 IQ points on this girl Finally after 40 minutes of trying to schedule the appts I just gave up.
Then I called my dress place to schedule the fittings and ask if we can do the bustle the weekend of my shower. I told the girl on the phone that I live in Boston as do two of my girls and the third is local for another few weeks and is moving to VA and I didn’t want her to fly up for something as ridiculous as bustling. SHe said we couldn’t do it that early. Fine, so I asked if I could start scheduling my fittings, she was absolutely rude when I told her my summer is already booking up fast and I would prefer to be able to do it on a weekend when I would be in town. She offered me the last weekend in August, I told her I’m in a friends wedding that weekend in NH and would be unable to do that, and she responded with but your day is more important. Then she proceded to say she couldn’t do it anyway because they only do fittings on Tuesday. Well no one ever told me that. If they had I would have just brought the damn thing to Boston and got it done here. I said it has to be on a weekend and I was never told about Tuedays. She basically just tough lucked me.
I don’t know if that I feel like I’m getting drowned out with what I’m saying and no one’s listening, or if no really is listening to me, or maybe I’m having four months to the day freak out. Anyone else feel like their just not getting heard?
Sorry for the complete incoherentness of the post. I probably shouldn’t post while angry
Post # 3
Maybe you should just take your dress and have it fitted somewhere else? I have never heard that before about only doing fittings once a week, but if its a busy shop, they probably just want to leave saturdays open for new business. Everything seems ridiculous the closer you get….just don’t worry about the little things. Leave the shower up to the people in charge. And get your trial appointment! Ask to speak with someone else if this girl can’t book an appointment.
Post # 4
No worries, we’ve all been there. Just take a deep breath.
I also didn’t want a bridal shower but gave in to my mom and am now driving 12 hours to the midwest for it next weekend. I know a lot of the people going are very excited for it, and excited for me, so that’s why I did it. Just remember that people WANT to give you things. it makes them feel happy, and weddings should be a happy time. Yes, it’s probably not fun that your mom is disorganized, but she’s probably been this way her entire life, so it shouldn’t be something new to you.
The next time you call and do the hair stuff, ask to speak to one of the owners and managers. *Calmly* explain to her that you would love to have your hair done at their salon the day of the wedding, but that when you called and spoke to someone before, they weren’t the sharpest tool in the shed and that worries you. Any owner of any business isn’t going to like that their first point of contact (i.e. receptionist) is rude and dumb – that puts a bad light on their business.
The dress thing isn’t fun either, but can you have it bustled where you live? Find a local seamstress and just get it done where you are, that way if indeed they only do fittings on Tuesdays (my shop was Wednesdays), then it’s easier for you. That also allows your girls to come with and learn how to do the bustle without having the hastle of trying to get them to wherever you bought the dress to learn, because it doesn’t sound close to where you are. Just find a local seamstress and I’m sure they would be more than happy to help you out. And the "too early" thing is crap. I was told that too and said "well that’s nice, but I’d like to get it done." Which turned out lucky for me because they messed up the bustle twice and it took a month longer than expected.
Planning "the happiest day of your life" can be stressful and hectic, but just step back and remember WHY you’re doing it. You’re getting married to the person of your dreams. That makes dealing with idiots all that much easier. And if they’re that rude, don’t give them your services and go somewhere else! 🙂 Good luck!
Post # 5
I’ve never heard a good thing about a bridal salon in the Albany area. I’d see if another Boston shop will help you with your dress (They might not if you didn’t buy through them) and rescue it.
Post # 6
I would definately take the dress and have the work done elsewhere. It’s kind of ridiculous that they only do fittings on a specific day – and it sounds like now they have your money they’re not that concerned about service. My salon does fittings any day they are open, the only thing being that you have to make an appt at least a week ahead so that they can make sure the tailor is there. Even with that, after my first fitting I wanted to stop out and try the dress again with a different bra, and they said they weren’t busy that afternoon if I didn’t mind that the tailor would be helping someone else at the same time. They are just as nice now that I’ve paid them as they ever were, which is how it should be.
However – everything else in my life seems totally out of control, so I understand how you’re feeling. Even though things are actually coming together well, with 31 days left there are enough important things left to do that I’m feeling really overwhelmed. Just remember to breathe. Some really nice bath salts and an aromatherapy candle can help too. Maybe a glass of wine. Heck, I think I should take the afternoon off and hide in my bathtub.
Post # 7
I’ve cooled off now. I think it’s mostly I’m feeling like I bit off a lot more than I can chew right now between being bridesmaids for friends, planning my own wedding, buying/rennovating a house, working full time and working on my Masters. Not to mention my fiance has been out of town in Hawaii on business for a few weeks now so I have no one I can really vent to. I hate complaining to my friends simply because they all have their own drama to deal with. however:
I spoke with my mom and apologized for being snippy. I spoke to my maid of honor and she said no worries, she wasn’t mad at my mom at all, she was more frustrated with the non rsvp-ers.
I’ve decided that I’m gonna call the spa again tonight and complain to the manager that for the amount of money I’m gonna shell out I expect better service and get the appts booked then.
As far as the dress goes, I’m kinda screwed right now. The dress was 1000 dollars, but it included all the alterations. I didn’t want to have to drive it from Albany to Boston, and then back to Albany, I didn’t want it to get wrinkled. Plus I’d be doing that commute with a dog. I’m gonna call them tomorrow as well and I’m going to speak to the owner. She’s been completely great with everything else. When I spoke to her last time I explained that I lived out here, and I only can come home on weekends. She seemed pretty accomodating when I spoke to her previously so I’ll give her a try again.
I kinda think I’ve been living at DefCon 4 the past few weeks with everything that’s going on, and I’m just a big stress case. I ordered our invitations and I’m nervous that they are going to be wrong when we get them, even though we went and did them in person and reviewed them.
I’m just laughing things off and repeating out loud that "it’s just a day" now. In fact, my FMIL sent out save the dates for us, and it has the wrong street address. And I just laughed for 10 minutes.
Thanks guys. I was starting to feel like I should check myself into the psych ward at Beth Israel or for an extended stay at McLeans for a little while there.
Post # 8
You dont need a bridal shop to do the alterations! Look for a decent seamstress ANYWHERE, They probably only schedule their person to do "fittings" once a week and she sews the rest of the time, which means they are marking up her work! Have a glass of champagne, as a stress releiver I took my own camera to my shower and snapped pictures of everyone!
Post # 9
If you can’t get the dress place to do any of the alterations on another day, see if they’ll give you like $200 back for alterations somewhere else? That way you won’t feel like you’re wasting money. It sounds like the owner is cool, maybe they’ll do that to help you out.
Post # 10
Oh hun, I am right there with you! Things liek this keep heappening to me! I wish I had some wonderful advice but I don’t think that anything can say will help much. Just hang in there, it will all pass and just remember whats going be to at the end of this road! YOUR WEDDING 😉 And no matter what it takes to get there, it’s going to be beautiful and everything you dreamed!
Post # 11
I’m completely ok now.
I called and spoke with the manager at both the hair salon and bridal salon. Both were very accommodating and all appointments are scheduled at times I can do them, so no worries there.
Thanks for all the advice, I believe it was a lof of miscommunication with everyone and PMS that sent me into a wedding mental health tailspin!