(Closed) I'm being selfish, but I'm really annoyed and don't care.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee

@mayflowerbride13:  I know its frustrating, but maybe have the dinner then do something for your date night afterwards? Stress that you wanted to be there for her birthday dinner as its important but that you two have a standing date every week and that’s also really important to you guys.

Post # 5
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee

@mayflowerbride13:  That’s all you needed! You just needed to let it out and let it go and it would have been taken care of. Yay! to date night!

Post # 6
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t understand families who make big deals over adults’ birthdays.  My family will have a get-together in the summer for “summer birthdays”, but if people aren’t there, they aren’t there…it’s no big deal.  My fiance’s family, on the other hand, has to do dinner and presents and cake for EACH birthday…which is annoying, because if you can’t attend for whatever reason everyone gets all pissy.  The other night for my fiance’s niece’s first birthday, they didn’t tell anyone about her party until like the day of, and I had to tutor, so I went to the “party” and left early, and everyone was glaring.  Um…it’s a one year old.  She won’t remember any of it.

Post # 7
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

umm nothing is mandatory for an adult with free will. Just don’t go if you guys have plans and don’t want to.  Sure there will be consequences you have to suffer but his mother cannot physicall make you go.

Post # 8
Member
895 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

In my family we do cake and ice cream maybe a small dinner for the person having the birthday but if other people can’t make it then they can’t make it. There are other birthdays and your FI’s family should also be understanding to the fact that y’all need time for yourselves as a couple and shouldn’t have to change your plans. Good for your FI for taking care of it!

Post # 9
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@peachacid:  I don’t get that either. my SIL made it clear she was unhappy that her parents were off on vacation through her birthday. DH and I were like … who the fuck cares about birthdays after you’re 21?

Post # 10
Member
945 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

psht. I’d honestly say look, we are busy, we can’t make it. Have fun without us. No need for them to get all cranky about someone turning 26. 😛

I’m glad he took care of it though and that you have your date night back! 

Post # 11
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

I would just flat out say no. People have dedicated date nights because something is ALWAYS going to come up. Unless you put that time alone with your husband first, it’s going to be constantly interrupted.

Post # 12
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

Lol, I stopped having birthday parties when I was 15.  Well, my sisters threw me an over-the-hill 30th bday party but that’s really it.  No big to-dos at all, and FI’s family is the same.  I’m glad you’re FI took care of it!  

Post # 13
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think it’s probably important to set your boundaries with your future MIL next time this kind of thing happens.  You and your hubby have your own life and while I’m sure you’ll try to make time for every family event, that won’t always fit into your own life schedule and it’s not really fair to expect that.  Glad this one was resolved though 🙂

Post # 14
Member
1685 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

That’s a great fiance!!

Post # 15
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MrsWBS:  YES!  

@mayflowerbride13: I live in the same town as my parents so its hard to say no, but truthfully, even if you didn’t have standing plans that night, she should not expect your presence.  I’m sorry, but even if your only exuse was “I want to stay home, get drunk, and watch TV all night,” it is enough.  You either can or cannot make it!  No need to justify your excuse… and I have to add… lucky you for having such a caring partner!

 

Post # 16
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mayflowerbride13:  oh glad you guys got it worked out! yay for fi for taking care of it! 🙂  Your in laws are a real piece of work – I remember all the crazy stuff they were doing when you were trying to plan your wedding initially!

The topic ‘I'm being selfish, but I'm really annoyed and don't care.’ is closed to new replies.

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