Post # 1
Maybe I’m not being selfish, maybe I am. I probably am… but
My fiance has just started working winter snow removal… and I have just started my second job this week. I work from 7am to 7:30pm… and get home around 8. We have literally not seen eachother since Sunday.
So his mom called my cell while I was at work (which I’ve asked her NUMEROUS TIMES not to do) and left me a FOUR MINUTE VOICEMAIL. I hate that too… anyways. Long story short FI and I have dedicated Friday nights as date nights since I only work until 5:30, and for this Friday I had made reservations for our fave spot for a celebratory dinner (of my first week) and to catch up since I haven’t seen him and we are expecting snow almost all weekend.
Well his mom informed me that we can’t have date night. Why? well, his sister turns 26 tomorrow and it is ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY to have her dinner this weekend. (I didn’t have a birthday dinner and I’m only 24).
The part that really pisses me off is that they said “we can’t do it saturday because FSIL and her husband have something, and we can’t do it sunday because FMIL and FFIL hav esomething.. so friday it is”.
um what? WE have something friday. WHY are their things more important? WHY is this mandatory? WHY does a 26 year old NEED a pizza and cake party? Last year they waited to celebrate hers until after christmas… so why not this year? honestly, we ended up skipping mine, but at a recent dinner we had at their parents place they insisted on singing me happy birthday. This was in October. My birthday is in August. so WHYYYYYY is it so damn important to do now.
I know I am just being tired and bitchy, but I’m fucking pissed and really emotional. I haven’t had sex in over a week and friday was supposed to be a nice romantic catch up. I miss my FI and I am so damn bitter now… and I can’t hide it. I’m trying to, I am. But I can see this will cause problems for sure.
Sorry I just needed to vent.
Post # 3
@mayflowerbride13: I know its frustrating, but maybe have the dinner then do something for your date night afterwards? Stress that you wanted to be there for her birthday dinner as its important but that you two have a standing date every week and that’s also really important to you guys.
Post # 4
@braverbeating: The venting gods love me apparently. FI just texted to say he took care of it. We have date night Friday, and she will celebrate with her parents friday, and with us Sunday when he rparents are busy. and with her hubby tmrw so she gets 3 celebrations. that’s even better!
Post # 5
@mayflowerbride13: That’s all you needed! You just needed to let it out and let it go and it would have been taken care of. Yay! to date night!
Post # 6
I don’t understand families who make big deals over adults’ birthdays. My family will have a get-together in the summer for “summer birthdays”, but if people aren’t there, they aren’t there…it’s no big deal. My fiance’s family, on the other hand, has to do dinner and presents and cake for EACH birthday…which is annoying, because if you can’t attend for whatever reason everyone gets all pissy. The other night for my fiance’s niece’s first birthday, they didn’t tell anyone about her party until like the day of, and I had to tutor, so I went to the “party” and left early, and everyone was glaring. Um…it’s a one year old. She won’t remember any of it.
Post # 7
umm nothing is mandatory for an adult with free will. Just don’t go if you guys have plans and don’t want to. Sure there will be consequences you have to suffer but his mother cannot physicall make you go.
Post # 8
In my family we do cake and ice cream maybe a small dinner for the person having the birthday but if other people can’t make it then they can’t make it. There are other birthdays and your FI’s family should also be understanding to the fact that y’all need time for yourselves as a couple and shouldn’t have to change your plans. Good for your FI for taking care of it!
Post # 9
@peachacid: I don’t get that either. my SIL made it clear she was unhappy that her parents were off on vacation through her birthday. DH and I were like … who the fuck cares about birthdays after you’re 21?
Post # 10
psht. I’d honestly say look, we are busy, we can’t make it. Have fun without us. No need for them to get all cranky about someone turning 26. 😛
I’m glad he took care of it though and that you have your date night back!
Post # 11
I would just flat out say no. People have dedicated date nights because something is ALWAYS going to come up. Unless you put that time alone with your husband first, it’s going to be constantly interrupted.
Post # 12
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
Lol, I stopped having birthday parties when I was 15. Well, my sisters threw me an over-the-hill 30th bday party but that’s really it. No big to-dos at all, and FI’s family is the same. I’m glad you’re FI took care of it!
Post # 13
I think it’s probably important to set your boundaries with your future MIL next time this kind of thing happens. You and your hubby have your own life and while I’m sure you’ll try to make time for every family event, that won’t always fit into your own life schedule and it’s not really fair to expect that. Glad this one was resolved though 🙂
Post # 15
@mayflowerbride13: I live in the same town as my parents so its hard to say no, but truthfully, even if you didn’t have standing plans that night, she should not expect your presence. I’m sorry, but even if your only exuse was “I want to stay home, get drunk, and watch TV all night,” it is enough. You either can or cannot make it! No need to justify your excuse… and I have to add… lucky you for having such a caring partner!
Post # 16
@mayflowerbride13: oh glad you guys got it worked out! yay for fi for taking care of it! 🙂 Your in laws are a real piece of work – I remember all the crazy stuff they were doing when you were trying to plan your wedding initially!