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I have seen several invitations with this before and I am out west.
I did receive one with registry info included. We haven't had a lot of our friends get married yet so I don't have a big number that I have been invited to.
My FMIL did it for my FSIL, and my one of my best friend's did it for her wedding. Yeah, it's an etiquette No-No, but it kind of does make it easier on the guests since they don't have to jump through hoops just to figure out where you are registered. For R's cousins wedding, the only reason I knew where she was registered was because I could look her up on the Knot, but not everyone would have access to that. Really, I don't think it's as big of a deal as it once was. Maybe you could not include the info in the invitations going to those who may feel offended.
i've received registry info cards in every invite i've received except for 2. and one of them was because the couple still hasn't registered! i don't think we'll be doing a wedding website so this will be the way we'll most likely will go. no need to have random people calling our mothers!
That is the norm for my family. When I told my Mama that it was an etiquite No No, she said, "people don't have time to go around finding out your info, those people don't know what they are talking about". lol
I've recieved 2 invitations this month with registry info on them! I don't think it is that big a deal, personally, and I am usually the etiquette queen. I mean, everyone has a registry these days, why are we tip toeing around acting like it is some big secret?
I am a big fan of registry info in the invites. Not ON the invite, but a discreet little card makes it so much easier for me to get the couple something I know they will like. Because honestly, if there is no registry info, I'm not going to ring around to find out, I'd assume the couple wasn't registered and go buy a nice salad bowl or something. Although here in Australia, registry inserts seem to be the norm, I was shocked to find out it was 'against the rules' because everyone does it here!
I've received invites for over twenty weddings in the last few years, and I have never had anyone include registry information on the invitation or on an enclosed card.
I will not include registry information on mine either. Even putting etiquette rules aside, I would never include a wishlist with an invite to a birthday party or other celebratory get-together. I don't think it's any more appropriate to do so for this celebration.
I included it on my invites. Really tiny but it's there lol. I get why it's an etiquette no-no, but seriously who goes to a wedding and not bring a gift? I'ts just convenient and if it's ok in your circle of people then its NO biggie :)
It's an ettiquette no-no...huh? I had no idea! I seriously have always received invitations with a registry card in them....that's so weird that it technically isn't proper ettiquette. How bizarre!
That's definitely an ettiquette no no!
Anyway, I have a somewhat related question - why did you feel the need to enclose those? I think that with the technology today with being able to find out where people are registered online, there is no reason to include this information, especially since it can be viewed as you telling your guests that you want a present (although, let's be honest, anyone who doesn't get a present for a wedding they attend or at the very least a card is really rude). Even my mom who literally has written instructions on how to log onto her computer at home to get on the internet and send email knows where to look online to search for registries and this was before I was engaged.
Also, unless a bride registered at an off the wall place that doesn't come up in normal registry search results, there is no reason to include this information. For those people who are totally non internet savy, they usually ask the brides mother where her daughter is registered (I'm talking about elderly guests who don't use computers).
So, this brings me to my original question - you mentioned that you are getting married out of the country, but you included these cards because a number of your guests are from the States... wouldn't they know how to look you up?
Anyway, this question is for people in general, not specifically the original poster...
I received one wedding invitation last year with the registry information. Other than that, I can't remember ever receiving a wedding invitation with registry information in it.
It is an etiquette no-no. I've gotten registry cards in the invitation, and when I do I tend to think that someone has not read an etiquette book. So I think that it's interesting that you are suggesting that you just don't care about what the books say. That being said, I still like the verbal method of sharing that information when asked.
As far as I can tell, the OP didn't ask if it was against etiquette, so I don't think we need to reiterate that or scold her.
@OP: Etiquette isn't about a set of "rules," it's about social expectations. So the question is not whether this is wrong, but whose expectations are you following?
If everyone you know expects to see these cards (and if it's a custom in PR), then you are not breaching etiquette and you are fine. There are lots of wedding-related things that are considered acceptable (or even required) in one culture/location/family but considered rude or out-of-etiquette in another.
I didn't include it in mine, but if it's the custom to do so in your culture, then I say go for it and don't feel bad. If it's custom, then not putting your registery info w/ your invite could be the equivalent to doing it when it is custom to do so...Does that make sense? lol Basically, I'm just trying to say, beings it's culture, you did the right thing! :)
Honestly, I have never seen it done either, but I have only been to a handful of weddings.
We are not doing it, as I figure most people with modern day technology can look our registry up, ask someone, or just give us cash. We are fine with whatever. I definitely don't think putting the cards in is necessary - they will find you.
I'm not but i know lots of people that did it... but the that not all the rules that just one
I wouldn't worry about it. My view - granted I'm not having a traditional wedding - is you can make your own rules. I'm not having a cake cutting, bouquet tossing, father/daughter mother/son dance, veil, etc.... Anyways, I have seen registry info w/ some invites... I don't think it's a big deal and that some people will be happy to see it versus having to ask where your registry is.... we didn't include registry info (we had a very simple invite with no RSVP card, we had an email for people to RSVP to!) and everyone ended up emailing us to RSVP and asking us where our registry is.
Girl I did it and I really couldn't care less what anybody thinks about it. I included a business sized card that had all our registry info on it. It was attached to all the other informational cards. I don't see the big deal. Everyone knows that people bring gifts to weddings. I mean lets be honest, we all expect the people we invite to bring us a wedding present because well if we didn't, we wouldn't have registered for them in the first place.
All those *rules* that have been set in place by God knows who, God knows when went out the door along time ago.
If people were so hell bent on following all etiquette and traditions, we would have some really boring ass weddings out here and none of the fun, funky ones that we have seen or been to in todays time.
As long as you didn't include a card that in big bold ass print said
DO NOT COME TO MY WEDDING UNLESS YOU'RE BRINGING A GIFT
I think you're fine. Every invite I've ever gotten has registry info in it and I'm perfectly fine with that.
LOL @msmonika. Can you imagine if somebody did enclose a card that said that? At least they'd be honest! LOL!
i included mine!!!! lol, we aren't super high class, so most people i invited don't know right from wrong(and most of your guests prob don't either) and it's my wedding, i'll put registry info in my invite if i wanna... lol
If it's a custom in Puerto Rico, how is it against etiquette if your guests are Puerto Rican? Just sayin...you're A-oK
By the way, I've received registry info on every single freakin' wedding invite I've gotten in the past year. Wait, except for one. So....it's not a big deal. Are you asking for gifts? Sure. Are your guests going to bring one? Sure!
I honestly haven't decided if we are going to yet. It just seems easier and more convenient for the guests to include the information so they don't have to hunt it down.
I just don't understand the need to include it. Odds are you are registered at Macys, Bloomies, Target, Bed Bath and Beyond or Crate and Barrel.
I have to second what Miss Oyster said. She nailed it.
(And to answer your question, yes, I've received invites with registry information enclosed and I didn't think much of it either way.)
A couple points:
I've received them in every single invite to a wedding and I've been to maybe 20 over the last 10 yrs. It is more conveinent to guests and to assume all your guests know or have time to figure out where your registered or even know how to use the computer is poor etiquette to me. My grandparents don't.
For me the whole wedding etiquette thing is a bunch of BS. I think a lot of people use as a form of judgement and the people I hear talk about it usually need to worry less about wedding etiquette and develop some social etiquette.
You are not alone and I bet those of us that don't care are higher in numbers than those who follo all the rules.
I think that some people here didnt read the first sentence of the post. =)
@texaslawgirls i think exactly like you!
@roux i think that is right, if i get invited and they dont put i will not call anybody to ask i will just give them cash
@missbliss i havent read the etiquette book and i dont care to read it! so you are right on that =)
@oyster thank you
@msmonika you are so funny
@brittanymichelle i love your attitude, thats the attitude Im trying to have
@lgenz you could not be more wrong. im not register in any of those palces or even close to be like those places
thanks to all the girls for you comment, i just was curious. i know that i will love to get the information in the invite because im not psychic and i will not call anyone to get the information
Magenta: hey i'm just saying...lol and i'm with missgreen...love her response!!
I think it is fine to put the registry info in with the invites. I was actually have this discussion with two women from England who are now living in the States for the past couple of years. They were both wondering why people DON'T put their registry info in there. I think it helps the guest relax about gift giving and not stress out about what to give. Unless you have been a bride recently or helping out closely you most likely don't know all of the popular places to register.
Also, even if there is the technology to look up where people are registerd at doesn't mean that everyone is familiar with it. I just introduced my mom to the idea of a wedding website. She looked at our STD and was wondering what that website was at the bottom.
I've never seen it in an invite, and I've never had a problem figuring out where the couple was registered. I wouldn't be offended if someone DID include it though.
If that is your culture, than include the information. A small card or on the back of the invite would be fine if that is your culture. It sounds like this is a regional thing.
Where I am from (Kentucky) that is never done and if one would include your invitation, I personally would not get you a gift because I see it as horribly rude. I'm sorry ladies, I was not raised that way and am not going to change what I belive is basic politeness.
I was slightly taken aback by the statement that you would not call and ask where people are registered. That is just odd. I know we as a society are becoming more technologically savvy, but the majority of my family is not. Aside from younger cousins, hardly any of the aunts and uncles and NONE of the grandparents use a computer. If I were the bride and I found out a person was too lazy to call and inquire what our registry was, I would be a little hurt (not because I wasn't getting a gift that I wanted) as I would take that to mean they really didn't care about me and my fiance as a friend.
Sorry, I'm from the Land of No Registry Info In Invitation. An invite is an extension of your hospitality and you (hopefully) don't want to convey attendance is contingent upon receiving a gift. I've never found it a huge inconvenience to figure out where a couple is registered at if the information isn't included. And I wouldn't take it as an affront to me if I had to make a phone call or shoot an email to the couple/their family.
But if it's commonly done amongst your peeps, then fine, go ahead. Etiquette is about making the other person comfortable, so if your peeps expect registry cards, then maybe that's the right etiquette for you.
I never knew this was considered rude until I read about people being offended on the internet. I guess it's failry common in my social class/region to include registry information in an invitation. I don't intend to send it in mine, though, now that I know it's rude. I'll make a website and tell my family and wedding party what to advise people when/if they ask.
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First I dont need any comment on how wrong I am. I already know that what Im doing is against etiquette.
But I have a question: I am the only one??? I dont think so
With my invitations im including a small card with the registry information. Why? because that is the costume in Puerto Rico and I asked a lot of my guest from my work in Massachusetts and all of them said to put the information with the invitations. So that is what we did.
Does anybody else did this?? Have you seen it before??