Post # 1
So far wedding planning from across the country has been, well, a breeze! Sort of. That is until yesterday. Our plan for the past 6 months has been to leave Seattle for New York on August 1st with my FI, sister (and MOH), and her boyfriend in the car, which would put us in New York a week and a half before the wedding. Leaving me a week and a half to resolve any major glitches is the wedding plans that I couldn’t see from Seattle. A. Week. And. A. Half.
Why the car? It’s actually my FI’s parent’s car, and they’ve been gracious enough to loan it to us, but now they need it back. We packed my sister and her BF in there to save them some money in getting out to New York (Oh yeah, and I paid for their return tickets out of my wedding budget).
So yesterday my sister IM’d me and said ‘Hey Lo, how would you feel about leaving a day later?’. I immediately felt a wave of frustration well up in my chest and told her ‘We need to leave by August 1st and NO LATER… why?’. I knew she recently had signed a lease on a new house, and the lease technically began on August 1st, but the Landlord had told her that the previous occupants might be out as early as July 1st, which would’ve left her plenty of time to move in before the wedding. Well I guess she found out yesterday that now the previous occupants aren’t moving out until JULY 31st and she’s thinking she can move all her crap into this new place in one day.
I held my ground, though. I told her this was something she needs to sort out with the landlord, a response that she was less than thrilled with. She spent the remainder of the night crying to my mom about how ‘a day doesn’t make that much of a difference, does it?’. Technically a true sentiment if I knew what to expect when I got out there, but that’s the thing about planning from across the country — I HAVE NO IDEA.
In short, I know she has gotten herself into a pickle. And I want to help, and I know it can be resolved. But I don’t think a day is going to fix the problem, and she’ll just be a whiny mess for the whole drive to New York (which she probably will be, anyway. She’s not good with roadtrips). But one day COULD screw things up a little in New York.
Am I just an [email protected]@hole?
Post # 3
I can imagine your frustration – planning a wedding is super stressful. But try to step in her shoes for a second. Moving into a new apartment comes with its own set of stresses and packing and getting ready for that at the same time as getting ready for her sister’s wedding can be super stressful.
I would recommend talking with her and trying to find a way to move her in early. Maybe offer to go with her to talk to the landlord or something. If I were her, I would be super stressed that I was a.) having to move in the day before going on a trip across the country b.) feeling really badly about making you upset and letting you down and c.) wishing there was a way to work it all out but feeling helpless.
If that doesn’t work out, it is one day. Maybe you all could leave before dawn or try to stop less frequently on your way across country. Or maybe you and FI could drive the two of you and your sister and her boyfriend could get a flight? Is there a way you could fly out and be there and your FI, sister and her boyfriend could drive the car? There has to be a way to make this work for everyone. Try not to put your sister’s needs last though.
GOOD LUCK! I really do feel for you – I am sure you are awfully stressed!
Post # 4
I completely understand your frustrations, but I do think i would try to compromise a bit with your sister. You will still have 9 days once you get to new York and is it possible to take turns driving and stop less to make up some of the time? You may have already planned to do so, but just an idea.
I am sorry that this comes at an inconveniant time for you and I know I would be upset as well. I am sure you can come up with a compromise and I am sure that she is not thrilled about the idea of having to postpone it either…
Post # 5
Honestly, I know moving is hard, but weddings happen once in a lifetime. Try to work something out like talk to the landlord or something, but, if you feel you should leave on that day, I think you should, but that’s just me. Good luck. And remember, sisters are for life, so don’t puch her away.
Post # 6
Thanks for your input, ladies. We talked this morning and I told her I would give her the day if she couldn’t figure anything else out, but that I really needed her to search hard. Hopefully she’ll come up with a solution.
Post # 7
@designish: One-way flight from SEA to JFK on Delta is $213.00. If she (or the BF) needs more time have her fly in later on her dime.