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If you are going to do it, it has to be fr you!! I'm in same boat, and I am trying to loose weight for the wedding, I've started doing some changes in my diet and hace lost some weight, but I refuse to stress myself ovr it. If you're uncomfortable in your own skin, then you need to figure ot what will change that. Losing 10 lbs will help you drop 1 dress size!! My motivation is actually my honeymoon. I want to enjoy the sun and not worry cuz I'll never see those people again....lol....but I want to look sexy for FI. If you do healthy weight lose, so it STAYS off, 1 - 2 lbs per week would give you12-24 lbs before your wedding. Do your count down!! You'll do it
My motivation is the wedding photographs. They say the camera already adds 10 lbs. so I'd like to be smaller for sure.
I would have said no except you said you are uncomfortable in your own skin. Being overweight because you eat unhealthy food and don't exercise has other health effects because just how you look so my motivation is my health. If you are pretty healthy and happy then I would have said no but you don't seem happy about it so why not try to push a little harder so you can have a healthier life with your new husband.
I am definitely not skinny and yes considered overweight by those horrible charts! I tried to get on board to losing weight but never got there. Why? My husband has always loved me the way that I am and has never said one word about my weight. No need to try to be someone I am not! Of course I am not saying it is a bad thing to try and lose weight. I wished I had but for me and no one else. =)
Dani.JPG (2964.3 KB, 46 downloads) 1 year old 
For me it's a mental thing. I feel better about myself when I eat healthy and exercise regularly. If I lose weight, awesome. If I don't, at least I know I'm doing everything in my power to be healthy. That's the most important thing at the end of the day.
If you do decide that you want to try to lose a little weight or tone up more here is a great website that my roommate shared with me! You can fill a thing out and it will tell you how many calories you can consume in a given day in order to meet your goal. You put in what you eat and it will find exactly what you ate (they had the exact starbucks blueberry scone that i ate this morning!) and keep track of your calories. You can also enter any exercise you do.
Like someone mentioned before, you need to make it a mindset change. Perhaps if you do it because you want to be healthier that will help. You just need to eat the right foods in moderation and do some physical activity but you need to keep those changes in your life in order to really get the benefits.
You need to figure out what makes you happy. You sound very unhappy in your skin. If losing a bit of weight would make you happier, go for it. If you're going to stress out over every little pound once you start, it's not worth it. Maybe you could try making a pro/con list? Or try it for a bit and see how you feel?
I am [was] a little chubby as well. That in itself was no motivation to lose weight. Heck, even the upcoming wedding was not the motivating factor. Just 'something' inside me sparked one day and I wanted to simply FEEL healthier from the inside out. So I embarked on my journey this past [late] Summer.
I started off by ONLY sleeping sufficiently and having green tea. (I replaced my coffee/tea, etc. with that.) Then several weeks later I added eating healthy meals to my diet. I WAS already healthy but not healthy 'enough' and nor did I control my portion size back then. I was also eating quite late into the evening, etc. I started cooking more and more meals at home. One after the other, it lead me to learn newer meals. Just by doing this I lost 10 pounds!!!
Several weeks later I added working out to the mix and started off my battle with P90x. I am going to be starting my 4th week of this tomorrow. I feel much STRONGER now already even though I didn't exert myself too much on arms/shoulder exercises due to a torn ligament in my palm. But yet due to the combination of ALL of the above, I ended up losing yet more weight. According to the scale I only lost 2 more pounds but according to the mirror and my clothes, it is WAY more. (I must've gained muscle.) Plus my body is starting to shape up nicely. And my skin looks a lot better too.
So don't focus on losing weight for 'this/that' reason. Just do it for the sake of NOT carrying around 2-3 bags of proverbial potatoes with you EVERYWHERE you go. Your hubby loves you the way you are, but think about your body too. It NEEDS to be healthy (not SKINNY) but healthy so it can function at its best. The weight loss will be a side benefit only.
Do what makes YOU happy. If you are uncomfortable in your own skin, give it a try to lose weight, what could go wrong? As for your fiance, that is GREAT that he loves you the way you are :) But definitely make the best of it, and try to make goals if that helps you! However, on your wedding day, your FI will be thinking "She is beautiful" no matter what! Your motivation should be YOU feeling happy and comfortable.
I understand how you feel for me the deciding factor was time. I did not try to lose weight before the wedding because at some point I ordered my wedding dress. And it was a size 16 and I thought I was going to die and I cried and cried about it and I admit, I hate looking fat in the pictures. BUT... it was an expensive dress and I realized that if I made losing weight more important than getting married we'll never be married.
Now that we are married I exercise everyday and have been losing weight since September (but not enough to make the dress not fit). In the end I just felt like some things should be more important and on the wedding day I didn't think about it at all.
I'm with lezlers on this one...I find i feel worse about myself when i not eating right or working out as i should..it really is mental, but things come up right? i try not to get down on myself too much, tomorrow is another day. i also agree with pp that you have to want to do it for you. I thought the wedding would be huge motivation to finally get on track, and let me tell you it has been! but im going for lifestyle change i want to be healty and fit for my wedding and beyond...but like all journeys there are road bumps and there are days like today where im sitting on the couch watching FI play halo instead of toning these guns. Back to the gym tomorrow!
I've been thinking a lot about it. Like I said, I don't eat bad, and I am not a total couch potato, I'm just heavier than I wish I was. But......I thought that 20 years ago when I was 12, 15 years ago when I was 17, 10 years ago when I was 22 and ever since. I have just never been comfortable in my own skin. I could be 'too skinny' like I was a 17 and still not be happy. It's completely mental, I understand that. I just need to work on that itself.
If you want to exercise do it for yourself. Not for someone else. And exercising doesn't only make you loose weight. It also will make you a healthier person.
If you're uncomfortable in your own skin then you don't have anything to lose by just trying to work out. If you lose weight, great, if you don't you will still feel better about yourself. You will feel more energetic and like you accomplished something. But then those little feelings will motivate you more to eat healthier, and then when you see your body changing that will motivate you even more.
I'm not overweight but I do know what it feels like to be in between working out through long periods of time. Getting motivated to do something the first day is the HARDEST. Then the second day is hard, but not as hard as the first day, and so on. Personally looking good for my wedding pictures is motivation enough for me so I'm following the Insanity workouts by Beach Body. It's not for beginners really, but it's very effective. For you I would say just take a 30 minute walk around your neighborhood. It's fun, and you get to see all the different houses and people walking their dogs. Don't drink anything with calories (soda, alcohol) and you will see even small things like that make a huge difference.
I wouldn't ever suggest someone changes... but you said it yourself: you're uncomfortable in your own skin. That needs to change. You deserve to feel good about yourself!!
Start small if you aren't big on exercising. Go for a walk with your FI, do sit-ups during commericals, grab a friend & go to an exercise class... Also drink more water! Eating a little less, moving a little more & drinking lots of H2O will do you a world of good & make you feel a lot better!
All the best & I hope you start to feel more comfortable! :)
@Purple Nurse: Keep your head up and keep on loving yourself, regardless of your body size! A wedding as motivation for weight loss works for some people, but not all. Do it for YOURSELF, for long-term goals (health, etc.). In the meantime, if you're happy in your current body and FI loves your body the way it is, I see no reason to make drastic changes before the wedding....unless you want to. I don't see why it's expected of us ladies to 1)lose weight 2)grow our hair out 3)ditch the glasses and get contacts JUST because we get engaged!
You might be interested in this article:
http://kateharding.net/2007/11/27/the-fantasy-of-being-thin/
It is immensely helpful! (or at least it was for me!)
These girls are right. Changing for a wedding is silly. But if you are uncomfortable then you need to make a change... but for yourSELF! Exercising (even just walking) will make you healthier and possibly extend your happy life. Now that you are getting married you need that!
being comfortable in your own skin doesn't necessarily involve losing weight ladies!
If you aren't comfortable at the weight you are at then yes, you need to make some changes.
I am plus-sized and have been consistently working out for the past 6 weeks. I have only lost 10 pounds, but b/c I am lifting weights and doing a lot of abwork along with my cardio, I have already been able to fit into some of my smaller sized jeans.
I haven't been comfortable with my weight for about 2 years but I could never stay motivated to work out. I finally got a personal trainer that matches my personality type and is able to motivate me to keep pushing myself. Maybe that will also work for you. Don't just do it b/c of the wedding...do it for yourself. Even if it takes a while to get to the size/weight you want to be, you will still see benefits due to the increase in energy levels and the toning that weight lifting gives you.
Personally, I was fortunate enough to get fed up with the way I looked BEFORE getting engaged- I lost 30 lbs before FI even proposed. Even though I am not where I really would like to be, I feel like I look a lot better already and I'm content with where I'm at for the most part.
However, I look at my engagement pictures, and even though I like them, I can't help be think "I need to lose another 15 lbs before the wedding!"
I personally lost weight by doing Weight Watchers. I started out with a 17 week pass, which basically gets you through the first 10 weeks where you learn all about the program. My initial plan was to go until my pass ran out and then decide if I wanted to keep paying (it was about $200 upfront for the pass).
In the first 17 weeks, I lost the bulk of my weight (20-25 lbs).
I don't know if WW would be for you, but since you're mostly wanting to lose weight for the wedding, you might consider signing up with the 17 week pass, and then after the pass is up you can stop going if you don't think it's for you long term.
It really does work, though, and for me, going to the meetings and making friends there was the motivation I needed to keep going!
@MissusTman:You look so beautiful! Can you tell me where you found that gorgeous dress? Did you add the cap sleeves or were they there?
I know I'm a visual person, so I think for next semester (since during this one I just entirely dropped workouts) I'm going to make one of those little paper chains. You know, the elementary Christmas countdown kind? Visually seeing the # of workouts I think I should fit in by the day (in this case, being a BM for a good friend, next fall it will be my wedding countdown) will be a visual reminder of the shrinking time I've got left!
Like PPs have said, this needs to be a personal thing for yourself, but once you get that get up and go, try to find ways that will keep you moving when you start to lose that spark. Good luck!
sorry to hear you're not feeling happy.
You're right in that your fiance will love you regardless.
Generally most people don't feel great about being overweight. If you are worried about your weight, perhaps ask yourself what are you willing to do in order to change it?
If you really can't be bothered doing anyhting about it, accept that decision and continue enjoying your wedding preparations. If you really are willing to do something about it, make the changes and you will see results if you stick to it.
Go about this gently.
@MassageBee: The dress is Alfred Angelo 2084. I live in Delaware and bought it at the Bridal and Tuxedo Shoppe in Newark, DE. The cap sleeves were already there! I loved it because I didn't want strapless. I loved my dress!
So, I just got the Zumba Fitness DVDs in the mail today. At the very least I am going to try to get in better shape. I may not lose weight, but I am determined to feel better about myself.
Thanks for the encouragement ladies.
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I am over weight. Chubby and uncomfortable in my own skin. I want to look perfect on my wedding day in t-minus 110 days. But I don't really care lately. He loves me the way I am, I will never be thin and I have no motivation. You would think that a wedding would be motivation, but I don't think losing a bunch of weight would make me any happier. What is your motivation? Do you think I should start exercising now and try to make the best of the next 100 days? I don't eat terrible, I don't sit around all day. I am just fat.