Post # 1
(This is slightly vent-y, but I really AM happy!)
So, as of Canada Day 2011, I am no longer waiting! I’m so glad to be engaged to my high school sweetheart and SO of 4.5 years. HOWEVER, this past weekend was almost too much. Immediately following the proposal, I felt at peace in a way that I haven’t since “waiting” commenced. Only the two of us knew about it, although his parents had seen the ring after he bought it two weeks before. As soon as we started going around telling family members, I started to get stressed. I felt like I didn’t know how to tell them, and, after that, I felt truly very young whenever I did. Long story short, I felt like our extended families were surprised that it happened as early as it did – we’re going to have a REALLY long engagement, but it jives with our new financial plan – and we spent time with family ALL WEEKEND. And into the week. Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday and Tuesday nights. We haven’t had any us time.
Also, becoming engaged has made me suddenly aware that I feel uncomfortable when people I’m not extremely close with expect me to describe our life plans in detail to them – all of our plans, hopes, dreams, and conjectures had been heretofore private and personal. Now I feel like I’m on display.
Any other recently engaged bees feel like this? I wonder now whether I would have been in such a rush to get engaged, or to tell everyone about it, now that I’m feeling these things. I would have liked to stay in “JUST engaged” peaceful near-secrecy for a little while, I think.
Maybe I just HATE my JOB. (Which I do, and it’s colouring my life.)
Post # 3
I think a lot a people feel this way. Especially if you are more of a reserved person. I actually feel the opposite of you. Sometimes I feel weird because I waited so long for my SO and now I’m older but then I think it’s my life and shouldn’t worry about what others think. When people ask you questions maybe you can just tell them you have not planned anything and just don’t know yet. That should keep them off you back for awhile. Congratulations!!!
Post # 4
Well I don’t know your age but I assume that I am much older than you so I unfortunately did not experience what you are going through. For now, take it in stride, the engagement “news” calms down rather quickly so after the first burst of overwhelmingness, it fizzes out. If someone asks you what are your plans- say to plan an amazing wedding and you haven’t thought about much after that- one step at a time. Congrats!!!!
Post # 5
I agree with the above, just try and enjoy the moment as things will soon go quiet again. And for any uncomfortable questions just say “ooh, I think we are still deciding on that..”
Post # 6
Congrats on getting engaged! Sorry that it has been such a stressful time. I’m a very private person as well and don’t look forward to all of the questions and the limelight. However, it will soon pass and you and your SO will have you privacy back soon enough 🙂
Post # 7
I’m not engaged yet, but as time passes and the closer the day comes with talking of what we would like to accomplish before hand, I’m started to get nervous myself. My biggest concern is that because I’m not wedding or engagement driven at all right now, that if he proposed I’d be more scared than excited. Like, “really? Now? Are you sure?” A lot of people say that goes away, but I honestly am not sure. The thought of my wedding or proposal was not something I ever dreamed of, and in fact, the idea of a wedding stresses me out immensely. You’re not alone, I can completely imagine what you are going through right now. Many happy thoughts and best wishes coming your way.
And – just because you’re engaged doesn’t mean your life all of a sudden becomes an open book. Treasure your intimacy, and don’t feel obligated to discuss anything personal that you don’t want to. Sharing your engagement and proposal always tends to lead people to believe that it’s suddenly okay to start prying for the personal stuff, but I think people forget how personal a proposal itself can be. All of a sudden the spot light is on you, and I think that you may just not be a big spot light girl. I’m not, I prefer to blend it, and it’s hard to do when so many people love you and want to be excited with you.
Post # 8
@everridiculous: I know what you mean. I am still waiting to be engaged (which will happen soon), but my family is involving themselves in the pre-planning I am doing. They inject all of their opinions and thoughts on what I should do and what we should do and they feel entitled to do so. This has been an issue I have always had with my family, especially my mom. I am an adult and I will do what I want, marry who I want and how I want. It’s hard for some people to understand this, ESPECIALLY family, who sometimes feel entitled to your life and your business.
Post # 9
I am not engaged yet, but I think I understand what you’re feeling. I’ve been dating my high school sweetheart for 7 years (longer than some members of our family have known their spouses) and we should be getting engaged VERY soon. I’ve been pushing for this for what feels like so long and have been excited about the empending engagement, but as it gets closer I’m starting to get nervous. Mostly nervous about our age (we’re relatively young at 23) and if our family and friends will take us seriously. It’s not “early” for us (just like it’s not early for you after 4.5 years of dating!) but I can understand and sympathize with the “young” feeling.