I'm Feeling A Little Insecure That My Mom Will "Steal The Spotlight"

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

SprinkleDonut:  You are the bride, you will shine no matter what. It sounds like your mom’s look might be a little too over the top anyway.

Out of curiosity, when she said she wanted to wear the sequined dress to your wedding, did you speak up and say that you had planned to wear it after the ceremony? Does she have any idea you wanted that dress for yourself? I would think a mom would happily give up the dress if you expressed interest in it.

Post # 3
Member
6866 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Believe me, no one will mistake her for the bride.  The only inappropriate thing you’ve mentioned here is appropriating a dress you are still considering.    If you were serious about that I would speak up, otherwise she should be able to wear whatever she likes. 

Post # 4
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Ok, first off, when women that are my mother’s age dress in something I would wear I think it’s typically horribly unflattering and desperate looking. People might pay attn to her, but not for the reasons she wants.

Secondly, if it is bothering you, SAY SOMETHING. She is your mother. You have the right to say you are still considering the dress, or whatever. Without knowing your mother I’m going ot guess that “stealing attention” is not her intention, and she probably has no idea you feel this way. If it’s going to bother you, talk to her!

Post # 6
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Those are very, very different looks: ivory wedding dress and soft, natural makeup vs. rose gold sequins with glam red lips.  Apples vs. oranges. No wonder your mother didn’t like your suggested dress, it’s very flowy and feminine.

 

I think you and your mother will both look amazing, but in vastly different ways that in no way competes.  

Post # 7
Member
6866 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I agree with your mom that a MOB deserves to look beautiful, too, but I still say if you had wanted to wear that dress you should have spoken up.  She could have returned it. 

Post # 8
Member
1499 posts
Bumble bee

Can you post a picture of your dress/sequin rose gold dress and your mom’s dress?

Post # 9
Member
2684 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

If anything, it sounds to me like your mom is going to look a leeeetle bit like she’s trying too hard. She is NOT going to steal the spotlight, no matter what.

Post # 10
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Sounds like she’s going a little overboard for what sounds like a small, intimate wedding…?  I think more than anything, others might perceive her as looking a little silly and inappropriate, and as others have said, insecure.

Post # 11
Member
2721 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

 

canadajane:  Exactly. It sounds like you have very different tastes.

Post # 12
Member
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Your mom could pretty much wear anything, and people will still gush over you.  You’re the bride!!! You’ll be fine.  

Post # 13
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I would be annoyed by this, for sure.

That being said, as a guest, I’d think she was dressed a bit ridiculously. It certainly won’t take away from you.

Post # 14
Member
6866 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I can’t believe the number of people who sight unseen have determined that  the mom will look inappropriate!  All this based only on a verbal description of a modestly priced rose gold dress with sequins.     Lots of women do eyelashes for special occasions.  Lots of women wear red lipstick. Any of these things can be tasteful or not tasteful depending on how they are done. 

A simple gown is not necessarily any more or less formal than one with embellishments. They are just two different esthetics. 

Post # 15
Member
3044 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Rise gold sequins with glam red lips? Your mom sounds like that combo will make her look like a train wreck.

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