Post # 1
My fiance’s sister is getting married and we just received the wedding invite. It’s addressed to my fiance but not to me. We’ve been together for almost 5 years, live together, and I obligingly go to most family events we are invited to. They know me well. Is it just me, or is that rude?
The last two weddings (3 sisters) they have included everyone in their wedding parties (bf/husbands and my bf/fiance) except me, and I found that odd, but let it go. Then the previous wedding they did that but also forgot to tell me the girls party would be at a different hotel than where my fiance would have to go (I ended up in the lobby for an hour+ while the guys took pictures as I wasn’t invited in.)
This time it just seems even more blatantly rude but I’m being told it was probably and oversight or maybe it’s because we’re not married. Any thoughts?
Post # 3
@katjahh: I hate to say it, but if you guys are engaged, live together, and you’ve been present at family events, excluding you from these weddings seems like an intentional snub. Do you have any reason to believe that FI’s family may not care for you or would not want you there? Do you get along with these people?
Post # 4
I think that’s really rude. Sounds totally dodgy to me !
Post # 5
Wow some of the rudness that pops up on the bee is exceptional.
What does your Fiance say?
I also sure as hell wouldn’t be going to any more of their family events.
Post # 6
I think it’s really rude. I get the feeling that they may not like you which is really hurtful. My SO’s mother and sister never include me either but they would never not invite me to a wedding.
Post # 7
Hmm… that seems really rude. I’d have your fiance inquire as to whether it was an oversight, and if it’s not, he may have to have a serious conversation about his desire for you to be considered part of the family as he IS planning to marry you.
Post # 8
Easiest solution: have your fiance ask his sister whether or not you’re invited. It’s a simple yes or no question that’s hard to dodge, imho. Make sure he gets a straight answer before the conversation ends.
Post # 9
@katjahh: thats shocking! id be shocked and hurt and upset and like WTF if my hubbys sister didnt invite me to her wedding – even before we were married or engaged! thats just being nasty. are you prettier than her and shes worried you will upstage her 😉
Post # 10
@katjahh: Do they not like you?? I ask this as a serious question – are there other signs that they don’t approve or anything? If it was just this sister I would understand, but the other sisters leaving you out is interesting, and not filling you in on things, etc.
What does your Fiance have to say about all of these issues?
No matter, he needs to call his sister and ask her what’s up. And I would hope he’d be clear with her that you and he are a unit and therefore you are accompanying him to the wedding. Bottom line.
Post # 11
@Mokara: +1. I’d love to see how she would answer that if OP wasn’t invited.
It does sound like a snub. Do you think they dislike you for any reason?
Post # 12
We’ve had some problems, but nothing so overt and imo serious! I just went to their wedding shower and everything was well. I sent a gift and we spoke etc. That wasn’t very long ago so I thought everything was ok!
Even if it wasn’t I still think this is out of line as I’m obviously a very big part of her brother’s life. I’m getting a bit mad at my fiance right now as he doesn’t want to confront them. But I’ve insisted he ask her directly, and I’ll report back once he calls her tonight.
He just keeps saying it was probably not done on purpose, but come on, he’s the only brother it’s not like we’re random guests.
Post # 13
There seems like seem real issues that need addressing here. Might be time for a family talk…
Post # 14
Yea, sorry but I agree with everyone else. He should just ask “is she invited or not?” and get a clear answer.
For the record, if they attempt to dodge him asking, that is clearly incredibly rude. I’m not sure how I would handle it from that point forward though… I’m not exactly great at being tactful or diffusing these kinds of situations.
Post # 15
Wow, sounds like they are sending you a pretty harsh message! Your Fiance needs to call immediately.. he should be standing up for you by figuring out what is going on and setting everything straight. Be sure to update us!
Post # 16
I say, definitely ask before getting offended. It might be a genuine mistake. If it turns out you are not invited, that would be very rude.