- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
I haven’t been on here in about two weeks, simply because I haven’t been able to face wedding planning in the least.
Two weeks ago, FI and I were visiting his dad and aunt (his dad lived with his sister, Fi’s aunt, after having a triple bypass about 5 years ago) down near the coast. We arrived early Friday morning and from there, Deb and I (his aunt) went to the coast and did some wedding-related stuff. During that time FI and his dad headed to the coast as well and did their own thing.
Deb and I came home around 5:30pm and we did dinner with the boys. I walked out of Kim (FIL)’s apartment. Didn’t say goodnight, goodbye…nothing.
The next day, Deb and I were heading to Eugene for a craft fair which she was a vendor at. Kim knew we were leaving early in the morning and was always up at 4, so when we woke up at 5:30 and there was no coffee ready, we figured that he was still asleep or wasn’t feeling good.
We weren’t going to be home until late, and the boys were going to go to the Salem indoor sprint car track around 3 for races, so we were going to head to dinner on our own in town. Well, around 5 FI texted me and I asked how the races were going. He said they didn’t go because his dad hadn’t been awake all day. I think at that point, we were all pretty sure he was gone…but we just wanted to think he was still asleep and not feeling good.
When Deb and I got home, she went to check on Kim and he was cold. The ME said he passed away on Friday night.
This is FI’s father, but he was my dad too. I never had a Father, and Kim was it for me. I loved him, even though I never told him. For the past few weeks I’ve been beating myself up for things I never said.
I haven’t even wanted to plan the wedding at all, but now that it’s been two weeks I’m starting to find thinking about things and events in life without him are a bit easier. Still painful as hell, but easier.
Any who, I’m back…..and back to planning. I know it’s what Kim would want since he was so excited for the wedding.