Post # 1
As most of you know, I’ve been with the love of my life for five years now. I don’t doubt that he wants to marry me, it’s just a matter of when. But I do have a timeline of June/July. Anyway, after months of torturing myself about whether it will actually happen, why he hasn’t talked about rings, and whether I should start planning….I’ve finally STOPPED. I don’t know why but I’m no longer expecting anything. I’m not thinking anymore about this summer, and if anything will happen…actually I’m expecting that nothing will happen at all. And I’m ok with that. I’m tired of trying to “plan” my life and control everything. So I’m letting go! Anyone else ever get to this stage…and does it last? I’m loving it!
Post # 3
Sorry, I know this won’t be of much help, but your mention of “planning your life” has struck a chord in me. Though, I, too am working on giving up on trying to control so much, I have to plan the rest of my life. Or, at least, the direction it will go. That’s what’s so hard for me right now. Though my plans will not change, my goal is still the same, I’m having to alter the speed of how I will accomplish them whilst I wait for him to get to where I am. And I’m sorry, I can’t let go of the control in that aspect. I feel like I can’t move forward with said plans to create the life I’m looking forward to until he gets off his ass.
Again, I’m sorry, I know that’s not much help to you and where you’re at right now, but that’s where I’m at. Maybe not in the same boat, but perhaps boat adjacent??
Anyway, good luck with letting go!
Post # 4
I think it’s great that you’re feeling this way. You have a timeline of June/July, so there’s no point in torturing yourself all the way up until then.
I’m sort of in that place right now. I just got fed up of worrying about it all the time. I know he is going to do it when he’s ready – so I’m just going to live my life and when it happens, it happens. With that being said, I do have doubts once in a while – but I just tell myself that it WILL happen and to trust him. I try to stay positive – I think its better for my health and for the health of our relationship.
Post # 5
Ahh…I have at certain points reached this stage, but then about a week later I’m back to worrying about where my future is going. My issue tends to be when I’m “going with the flow” for a couple weeks or longer I realize he’s still not doing anything and I wonder if not bringing it up means he thinks he doesn’t have to think about it anymore.
Hold on to it while you can though–it’s a nice phase to be in!
Post # 6
@Wonderwoman217: I just realized that maybe life has other plans for me and I keep pushing against those plans–whatever they may be. Now don’t get me wrong, if my SO was somone who had doubts about our relationship or treated it casually I would really consider walking. But he is someone I truly love with all my heart and trust. So if he isn’t planning on proposing or talking about it, then I have to just accept it. After all, it really takes two people to make a decision to get married. And I’m done pushing!
Post # 7
I had those moments when I let go, the last few weeks before he proposed… and it worked but this stage waiting bees go in and out of depending on the current circumstances. Definitely try to take it out of your mind as you have been and focus on other things but don’t worry if you occasionally find yourself thining back on waiting… as your timeline gets closer, you may find yourself getting anxious again so have a plan on what you are going to do if the timeline comes and passes without a proposal.
Good luck- I hope he proposes soon.
Post # 8
Yay! Glad to see so many others have/have had this feeling too. It hit me a couple weeks ago and is still holding strong. No timeline like June/July (luck girl ). But it all just hit me after a serious discussion about the pressure I’ve been getting from people around me inquiring about when we were going to get engaged. It was such an honest, nothing held back, good conversation. I just felt at peace afterwards and I haven’t worried in the slightest about when he’s going to finally do it. Here’s to hoping we both feel this awesome for at least the next 6 months. 🙂