- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
To explain little bit about myself, i’m an imigrant living in a foreign country and my FI and his family is all from here. I moved about a couple of years ago, I have a job and working hard and now preparing all the wedding stuff.
Like about 5 months away from my wedding, i’m thinking that my future in-laws not really excited for our wedding and trying to be too opinionated.
first of all, my FI’s mom is doing all the flowers for our wedding including my bouquet and she’s paying for it. we haven’t discussed deeply but have talked to her what i would like for the bouquet. first bouquet that i showed her she said she can do it with no problem but once i picked up my dress she said it won’t look nice with my dress so she’s not going to do that one. i’m not really good at speaking for myself, so i told her than i will look for something else. (she didn’t even like my dress and she even told me that) i know i should have told her from the beginning. then i found this other bouquet, she said it’s okay, then i changed my dress (long story, i didn’t like my dress anymore it was sample dress and the bridal shop let me choose another dress) just long story short, it seems like whatever i say what i like FI’s mom doesn’t agree and saying that she’s not going to make the bouquet that I like. i’m so upset but i will just talk to her the last time and if she still doesn’t want to make the bouquet that i want, then i will tell her that i will get somebody else to make my bouquet and pay for it.
because my family is not in here, i went the dress shopping with my in-laws and kinda thinking FI’s step mom will throw a bridal shower for me because she did it for FI’s brother’s wife now. She hasn’t said anything to me, so it’s not 100% but i think they can do that for me too since they are always saying that they treat all the family member fair.
i don’t really have a great relationship with FI’s older sister, and her daughter is going to be one of the flower girls. She knows that and she’s fine with it. I was just discussing quickly with her about the dress, and it was fine, then I told her I want the little girl to have a pony tail and I will get a cute white ribbon and will do that. As soon as I finished saying that she just told me that she will chop her daughter’s hair in summer time really short. I was kinda disappointed but it is her daughter and she can do whatever she wants to do. then i told her maybe i can buy a cute white hairband that she can wear, and she said she doesn’t like.
i don’t know what’s wrong with this family, they tell me that it’s my wedding and i can do whatever i want, then when i say something what i want, they don’t like it saying i can’t do that.
some of the family members are nice, it’s not like i am getting stress from everybody, but i feel like cuz i’m not from this country so they think they know more/better than me. i have no problem speaking with them so i don’t think it’s a language barrier. i feel like they are bossy around me, and they just can’t think that i have better idea or i can actually have a good idea. it’s my wedding i’m doing so many cute things like making something special for my wedidng. i’m excited but at the same time thinking about the things that i need to go through to have the wedding that i want, it makes me upset.
i don’t think i’m asking too much or something ridiculous, i’m not picking too expensive flowers so FI’s mom needs to spend too much money, i like simple things and i will never make people to spend too much money for me. they are in-laws but i still think they are my family. now i wish my family is here, and i think my parents will let me do what’s best thing for me. the reason that my family is not coming to the wedding here, it is because they live far and the flights are so expensive and i am having a little wedding with my side of family. so i’m fine with that.
i know what’s the best way, i need to speak for myself, but i don’t want to make anybody upset. anybody had this experience?? and also i feel like they don’t really care about our wedding, but just when i say something they will just try to argue so much…