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SO I've decided that i am going to fib a bit on the wedding invitations and put the start time to the wedding/ceremony as 15-30 minutes earlier. Yea yea i know a few of you wouldn't like that, but I don't want ppl coming to my wedding late. My family is full of ppl who are firm believers in CP time! Seriously!! I have family members that come nearly 2+ hours after everything starts. I even have some who come right before it ends. I don't want ppl coming to my reception that didn't make the ceremony... its just my personal desire, so plz don't rag on it.
Are any of you going to fib a bit on your invites too?
Nope, mine had the exact time on it, and my family knows I'm super punctual. We had a pretty quick 20 minute ceremony that I said would start at 2:30. I checked my dad's watch before I walked down the aisle and it was exactly 2:32. If you were late, you missed it... that sucks for you.
I'm not going to lie but I doubt I'm walking down the aisle at exactly 5:30 (which will be on the invites). I don't see myself starting much later than 5:40 though. I'll just wing it, haha.
We're having our ceremony and reception on a yacht and I said 11:30am on the invitations, though I noted on my wedding website that boarding onto the yacht isn't open until 11:45am, so no need to be early. The place kind of sneaks up on you when you're driving, and parking is not right next to the dock, so I wanted to give people extra time. I want to be able to depart prompty at noon, so if all my guests arrive between 11:30 and 11:45, we will be able to do that.
I think it is wrong to lie on the invites, but maybe that just is me
No. I'd much rather let someone else be rude by showing up than be rude to ALL of my family and friends simultaneously by being the one who is late.
Nope, we put our exact start time which is 5:30. Most people will make arrangements to be atleast a few minutes early regardless so I wouldn't feel comfortable making them wait any longer. Our entire ceremony is less than 10 minutes and our cocktail hour doesn't start until 6 so if we end up starting a little late, we have the time.
I personally think that telling people to show up a half hour before you plan to actually start your ceremony is a little rude. Are you planning an outdoor wedding? If so, isn't it insanely hot in Texas in July? You may want to have some EMT's on standby...
I never knew people didn't like that. I have been to over 20 weddings in the past 3 years and not one started on time. In my circle, you always put 30 min advance of the start time so people show up at that time but have time to park, get program, find a seat, say hi to other people they know, etc.
I don't really see this as lying, I've been to plenty of events where the time stated is not the actual start time and they have included a 10 minute buffer. 30 minutes is a bit much and it's not really going to help you with guests who are going to be 2+ hours late or showing up at the end.
I'll be honest, as a guest I'd be pissed. Most weddings don't start on time to begin with so if your wedding was at say 5pm, and you tell me to get there for 4:30. I arrive at 4:15 because I would obviously give myself a little extra time. So as your guest I would be sitting there from 4:15 until probably 5:15 when you actually get to the aisle. I would be bullshit if I had to sit there for an hour, as close as I am to some people no one likes to sit around for an hour waiting, especially in the heat.
I'm not fibbing on my time. But I understand CP time... if you have folks that follow CP time definitely fib! Golly, it's like they don't understand that 6:30 means 6 freaking 30. Baha! Funny thing is, it's the same way in Africa. Go figure :)
EDIT: Also, I was very thankful for some weddings that didn't start "on time". I am horrible at getting lost going to different cities for weddings. So the extra 15-30 minutes helps me not look like a dumbass!
lol no need to be grumpy guys! Im from a huge family and everyone is late. we are having an outdoor wedding with tons of kids attending and that always seems to make people run a few minutes behind. Im putting 4 on the invites planning on 430 start. 415 is an awkward time to put on an invite so 30 min wait it is!
i understand the reason for putting an earlier time on the invites... i always tell my cousin about an hour before the time that everyone else is arriving for dinner because he is ALWAYS late...
I was at my friends wedding last october and 98% of people arrived on time... I saw one couple arriving JUST as they finished signing the papers... i thought that was rude!
We won't be lying, but no one will be coming into the chapel until the ceremony is over if they did not make it before it started
Your family might generally be late, but is his? Your friends? Do you intend to pass the word to them?
I'd be one of the grumpy guests if I found I arrived early, as I always do, only to find the wedding doesn't begin for another 30 minutes. Another thing to consider is people with disabilities. I have severe arthritis and sitting even 30 minutes is near impossible.
my church actually said to do this because they want to make sure the wedding starts on time. I'm definitely considering it.
Sooooo thats great for all of you having super punctual folks. Bravo :)
No the wedding is indoors... Texas heat in July?? There really isn't any other option. Also my wedding is downtown, and if you have kept up with the stats the DFW is 6th on the worst traffic list in the country.... so um downtown, on a Friday........
And I recall putting 15-30. It all depends on the professional opinion of my wedding planner.
Its my wedding, and I don't want anyone busting in during my vows. If I wanted ppl to be late, then I'd just invite them to the reception. I've got a few moochers in my fam that woulkd seriously show up just for the food. My mother is set on the majority of them coming, so they've been invited... but I have hit the NO TOLERANCE mode, and IMO putting an earlier time isn't rude. It gives people enough time to mingle and talk. ANd besides, if it seems that EVERYONE magically showed up on time, I see no problem getting the show on the road at that time.
ANd also, seeing as most of you said that "Weddings start late anyway" I don't see how anyone would know the difference then if we didn't start on the call time... After all, its just a call time. If I looked at it from that point of view, then ppl are 'expecting' the wedding not to start on time.
Either way, I love my folks but I'm going to add a bit of time on the invite to be sure that I do my best for them not to miss the ceremony, whether by their tardiness or 'bad luck.
@Melissa.erin: Yea I figured the whole 7:15 would look a little off, so I've been debating whether to put it on there lol
i didnt lie, but all my friends know me for being notoriously late. so of course my ceremony started about 30 mins late! no one was worried though, they knew i was coming and they were sitting in the shade! and i was late because my baby (4 months old) niece was having a crying fit! and my sister had to walk down the aisle carrying her!
@lwilliams107: Yeah I just went to a wedding on a Friday night, at 6:30, when there was a lot of traffic because of rush hour and an Elton John concert going on a block away, and that started right on time, which kind of irked me because we rolled in 5 minutes late. Even though we left the house 30 minutes before start time and live like 7 miles away thinking that was plenty of time. So I think if you know your guests might be surprised by the amount of traffic or what not, planning to start a little later is the courteous thing to do. 30 minutes might be pushing it, but if you know your crowd well enough go for it.
@kay01: My FI has a very very small fam. His mother will be the only on in the audience for him. THe rest of his closest friends and his sis are in the wedding party.
If you know your family is chronically late, I see no problem with it. Hopefully it works out for you!
You could always put '6pm sharp' on the invite, instead of the earlier time. Don't know about your venue, but if its a curch or somewhere with doors, you could arrange to have the doors closed and locked after you walk down the aisle so no late comers interupt.
Also, funny story, my dad's parents had to run down the aisle between the bridesmaids and my mum walking down the aisle, because they were relying on her being late and she was right on time. :)
ETA: Forgot to say that at our outdoor wedding we are saying 3pm on the invites, but I'll walk down the aisle at 3.30pm. However we are having pre ceremony champagne and tea sandwiches being taken around by waiters for our guests during the wait so they can chat and explore the gardens a bit before we start the ceremony.
I am putting 5 on the invites and am starting at 515. I see no problem with that :) 5 looks better on the invites too.
ETA: My venue is such that any late-comers would be extremely disruptive :/
I'm going to put the ceremony starts at 11am but it isn't actually going to start until 11:20.
Lying on the invites is punishing the people that are on time. I'd prefer to reward the on-timers with less wait time and punish the late-comers by making them wait outside/sit way in the back.
True many weddings don't start on time anyway. So that makes the wait even longer. Example: You told them 5. Planned on starting at 5:30. Actual start time 5:45. Someone that planned accordingly and showed at 4:45 to get a good seat/be a good guest will be waiting for 1 hour. Too long. Way too long.
I get your reasoning for it, but it may irritate the people who not only arrive on time, but early. But maybe a few annoyed guests is better than disruptive late comers? Not sure, your choice.
I am bound and determined to be on time for my own wedding, but I think we'll start 15 minutes late to give people time to settle. So we'll say 1 pm start but actually start at 1:15.
I was going to put 3:45pm instead of the actual start time which is 4pm, but I decided that if people were going to be late, too bad for them. My wedding is casual so I'm not too worried, and besides I doubt I'll be walking down the isle at exactly 4pm
I always arrive early. If I was your guest and had to wait EXTRA long for the ceremony to start? I would straight up skip your reception. Mingling is for after the wedding.
We are having water and champagne passed while they wait but like I said in my earlier post, I have never in my life gone to a wedding that started at the invite time.
@ENarcy: "I'll be honest, as a guest I'd be pissed. Most weddings don't start on time to begin with so if your wedding was at say 5pm, and you tell me to get there for 4:30. I arrive at 4:15 because I would obviously give myself a little extra time. So as your guest I would be sitting there from 4:15 until probably 5:15 when you actually get to the aisle. I would be bullshit if I had to sit there for an hour, as close as I am to some people no one likes to sit around for an hour waiting, especially in the heat."
This is me exactly! If I was a guest at your wedding, I'd be sitting around waiting for an hour and trust me, I'd be PISSED!
ETA: Also OP - I live in Dallas and the traffic here really isn't an issue. No way in hell is it 6th worst in the country - I've spent significant time in more than 6 cities with WAY worse traffic than Dallas.
I'm putting 6:30 on the invite, but we will start the ceremony at 7. It is in a bar (really a fancy cool ultra-hip dance club) and people will have time to get a drink, find a seat etc. before the ceremony begins. In other words, the doors open at 630 and the ceremony begins at 7. I think a 30 minute cushion is just fine.
I didn't read all the responses, but I do not like it when people do this. Our cousin did this a few years ago and wrote "5pm" for a ceremony that didn't start until 5:30. We got there at 4:50 and the ceremony didn't ACTUALLY start until 5:40.
I was pretty pissed that I sat there waitinng for 50 minutes when I could have left later. Really, really rude IMHO.
Wow, I didn't realize this many people felt this strong about the topic! We totally chose to tell guests to get there at 5:30, when our ceremony starts at 6. But we have 200 guests, and I just can't fathom everyone getting there on time.
Well my ceremony time is 1pm and hopefully I'll be going down the aisle then.
But as for the reception I put 5:30 but the wedding party won't be getting there until just after 6pm. I want everyone else to be there first and then if there are late people they should still hopefully get there before us.
You can have your DOC close the doors of the church about 5 minutes after the start time and they can wait outside if they are late.
I really hate having to wait. I would not be happy. So from a guest POV, I would see you as rude, not clever.
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