I'm going crazy trying to pick a ring we BOTH like (poll)

posted 1 week ago in Rings
  • poll: Which ring should I go with?
    Rose gold pave wrap - what you like best : (29 votes)
    39 %
    White gold/platinum shared prong - compromise with him : (46 votes)
    61 %
  • Post # 2
    569 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    I’m not liking the first one but maybe I need to see it on a finger. The second is classic and beautiful, I would compromise and go for that style. Personally I’d feel weird wearing an engagement ring my husband didn’t like. 

    Post # 4
    715 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    You should go with what what you want as honestly, he’ll get used to the ring over time. TBH though, the high setting and scarf are not to my taste. How about something like this from JA?


    Post # 5
    977 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    I can’t tell if the white gold one is the same height, but just a warning that those high-set rings are a pain in the booty!!! Speaking from experience….

    FWIW, go with what YOU want. FI really doesn’t get a say.

    Post # 6
    673 posts
    Busy bee

    I hate the wedding band my husband chose, it’s quite ugly. I bought it for him because it’s the one he wanted and it’s not going on my finger. It isn’t what I would have chosen, but it doesn’t keep me up nights or anything.

    My point: your ring should be to your liking. Your SO probably doesn’t have super strong feelings about it anyway, whereas it sounds like your preference for the rose gold ring is significant. 

    Post # 7
    2790 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I think the first ring is beautiful but I’d be concerned about how sturdy it is with the way the head is connected to the band. My grandmother had a ring with a similar style head and she knocked it off one day. I always thought it was crazy that she managed to do that but since I’ve been wearing my ering for the last 3 years, I’ve bumped my ring on so many different things just moving my hands through the air and living life. 

    For that reason, I’d go with the second ring or get the first ring style done in a way that there’s a more secure joining point between the head and band.

    Post # 8
    2031 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    rosemaryandthyme :  the first one is really pretty but it looks top heavy and seems like the head is soldered precariously to a very thin band. I’d question longevity for that reason alone. Your engagement ring is not a dress ring you wear occasionally . It needs to stand up to continuous daily wear. I’d also maybe look into a peach sapphire due to its durability instead of morganite. I’m pretty sure morganite is lower on the mohs scale but I could be wrong.

    It is important that you love your ring just as it is important your soon to be hubby loves his wedding band. Go for what you love not what he wants you to wear. He will love it when he sees how happy you are wearing it. I’d just look for something sturdier with similar elements to the ring you love or get it made with few tweaks to make it more durable. 

    Post # 9
    851 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    Given that you were “strongly considering” the second one and you like both, I’d pick the one he likes. While he doesn’t have to wear it, I’d feel bad getting my fiancé to buy me something he didn’t like.

    Post # 10
    23 posts

    The scarf reminds me a little of the Evelyn with an open profile from Victor Canera–that one might be a good compromise in Rose gold. From the top/sides, it looks like a super traditional ring, but from the side, you see the gorgeous pave work. You could get it in rose gold too!

    Post # 11
    1573 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    #1 has so many stuctural issues, as PP said,  the head — the band is WAY to thin for pave. This setting is too fragile for daily wear. #2 is a better choice. Maybe the compromise is to make the band RG and the head WG? 


    How about something that is a bit different, but has elements you both like but without the structural issues? 



    Jeein II


    Post # 12
    173 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    rosemaryandthyme :  when my then boyfriend asked me what I liked in terms of rings and I showed him some, he made a comment on how he preferred simplicity (as in plain bands), and that he was not much into flashy stuff. He also added that, ultimately, I should be the one who loved it as I’d be the one wearing it.

    I felt a little crushed, because I wanted him to love the ring as much as I did – so badly… Then I thought “it is a symbol of our love. Why am I overthinking it?” and just let it go.

    Flash forward to the proposal. He picked all the ideas from the style I loved and had it custom made (the final product surpassed my expectations. It still makes me sigh in awe). And you know what? It grew on him! Now he says he really loves how the little pavé stones bring out the side aquamarines and the center stone. He said he didn’t know it would be so beautiful. 

    So maybe your boyfriend won’t be able to really picture how beautiful the ring will be until it is ready! 🙂


    ETA: sorry about the ginormous picture. I have no idea how to make it smaller.

    Post # 14
    314 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2017 - State Park

    What about the second one, or something similar, but set in rose gold. 

    The first one is beautiful, but I thank my lucky stars daily that my diamonds (I have a 3 stone Bostonian) are set low. And I swear I’m still going to accidentally rip the cat’s eye out and I’m always pulling strands of long hair out of it. High set stones are gorgeous and have great sparkle from the light coming through, but just are a bear to actually live with.

    As time goes on you might be glad to have something a bit more simple/classic, too. 

    Post # 15
    1158 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    rosemaryandthyme :  Get what you love most. I bet you anything your SO will grow to like whatever ring you select, if you love it. You won’t be able to stop staring at it and gushing over it, and seeing you that happy about your ring will make him happier than seeing a style he initially preferred on your finger. The fact that he’s refusing to choose something is really sweet and shows that he truly wants you to be happy.

    My husband was similar to your SO, I think he would have preferred I wear only a band! And he doesn’t like other jewellery, either!! But he has bought me beautiful sparkly pieces that I adore, because I wanted them, and now he often comments on how nice they are. He is proud to have given me jewellery that I love — your SO will be, too.

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