I'm going to lose it

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
7193 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Is this a limit in the park, i.e. not a safety or space thing, but because they don’t want large crowds? How many people are coming from England, how closely related are they, and how far over the limit will you be? If you’re going to have (say) 27 people, it might be worth contacting the park management and begging them and asking for an exception.

With the music you’re kind of stuck. Perhaps the boy can play at the reception instead?

Post # 4
Member
211 posts
Helper bee

carrolltobee:  will there actually be someone there counting your guests? I wouldnt bring it to their attention by asking permission if its just a couple people. What will they do, kick people out?

as for the music, again, wouldn’t bring it to their attention, but can you get this kid a battery-powered keyboard to play on? Not sure about sound quality, but if you’re really in a pinch…

Post # 5
Member
97 posts
Worker bee

I wouldn’t risk bringing extra people without telling them juat in case the do cancel it! I might be paranoid but that’s a huge risk.

Post # 7
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee

carrolltobee:  I’m UK based so not sure how helpful this is but we were told that the numbers include everyone so me & FI,  the guests including babies,  the vendors eg photographer etc and the registrars and that its a legal thing to do with the licence on the venue so there is absolutely no way we are allowed to go over the number at all.

Post # 8
Member
7193 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

carrolltobee:  I think the number includes vendors (certainly) and children (probably). The park doesn’t care who’s a vendor and who’s a guest. What they care about is the size of the crowd.

So the 36 includes your unexpected UK guests? How many UK guests are there? If it’s only 2, then it doesn’t matter if they’re there or not, really. 

It might be worth discretely putting word around that if anyone would rather just go to the reception, that’s fine. I’m not sure how you’d do this, though.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  aussiemum1248.
Post # 9
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Is there another venue you can move to?  Similar to the one you’re at but a bit more flexible?  Most times though guest counts include everyone but the really picky ones are usually at venues where they have different price points for guest levels and are making sure to maximize revenue – your venue doesn’t sound like it will be that picky but if it is a public area they may have limits that decide what permits may be needed so that may be where the 25 count comes in.

Post # 10
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

carrolltobee:  

I would also assume that the vendors would be included in the head count. If the kids are small enough that they’re sitting with the mother/father I wouldn’t count them, but I would if they need their own seat. If it were me I would go through with the ceremony, it’s only 15 minutes and I doubt the park ranger would stop you mid-ceremony to announce you’re a dozen people over. Especially if you didn’t know they were coming, or they are just lingering… it’s a public park!

As for the music… that would draw attention. I think it would work fine having him play during the cake cutting. Or what about first dance? If you don’t already have your heart set on a song.

Post # 11
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m confused about why people from the UK who weren’t invited are coming to “surprise” you for your wedding.  How did that happen?? 

Post # 12
Member
4639 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Who shows up to ‘surprise’ someone at their wedding? That sounds quite rude.

Explain to them that you’ve already selected a venue and that adding last minute guests would involve changing it completely.

Post # 13
Member
2264 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

carrolltobee:  Is your ceremony and reception in the same space? I can’t see anyone being so unreasonable in the park as to not accommodate your out of town family for 15 minutes!

I think you have a couple of options:

– You could call up your family members who wanted to surprise you and just explain to them that as much as you would love to see them, you’ve unfortunately already chosen a space that cannot accommodate extra guests, but you do hope that you can all find a time to get together after the wedding to celebrate!

– You could move your ceremony to a different space

– You could ask for permission from the park for a few extra long-distance family members that you’d really love to see and that you initially thought couldn’t make it.

Don’t lose it! You have many options. This can work out!

Post # 14
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I would try find a different venue. Besides the concern of going over the capacity, you have a little boy who has practiced for this when music isn’t even allowed. I would see if there is somewhere else that would work.

Post # 15
Member
2825 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t mean to trip on your family, but omg WHAT kind of person shows up uninvited to a wedding? I guess it kind of a sweet idea but also exceedingly inconsiderate. I wouldn’t be changing my wedding to accommodate that kind of shennanigans. 

(all that said, I am familiar with this because an aunt from overseas showed up unexpected to another relative’s wedding and also demanded that she be escorted down the aisle and seated during the processional. The bride was very cool about it. I’d have been seething.)

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