"I'm going to marry her anyway!"

posted 3 years ago in Traditions
Post # 3
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@MrsPanda99:  If my dad/parents wouldve said no I wouldnt have agreed to get married. They regret not being honest to my older brother about his marriage so they told us if they ever said no they had proper reasons. I dont have to worry about this because the first time they met eachother my dad pulled me aside and told me “dont screw this up, he is the most perfect man ever and is much better than me to be suited as a husband”.

Post # 4
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

It was more important to me that he asked my mother (I wouldn’t have cared if my father said “no”) but I knew she’d say yes because she freaking loves him.
I joke sometimes that she should just adopt him instead! (I mean she basically gets a son either way hahah)

Post # 5
35 posts
  • Wedding: August 2013

If my parents had not given us their blessing I would have married my husband anyway; not even a question! It’s my life not theirs.

Post # 6
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I am very close with my family, so I don’t think I ever could have gotten to the marrying stage with someone they didn’t approve of. 

Post # 7
9859 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MrsPanda99:  a part of me wishes that my FH had asked my dad/parents for their blessing – just for tradition.  If my dad had said no, it would have been a big red flag.  My FH and I have been together for more than 9 years and he has spent an awful lot of time with my family.  If my dad didn’t approve of us getting married, I would really want to know why. 

BUT, my family adores FH, he’s amazing – he once spent 3 hours chatting with my grandmother listening to all her stories and random complaints while I was out at a bachelorette (he was in no way expected to do this).

Post # 8
6786 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

For me, your parents opinion of your SO is probably the truth. Your parents know you really well, and if they don’t like someone (same with your friends) it’s usually for a really good reason.

If my first real SO would’ve asked my dad’s permission, my dad definitely would’ve said no. Maybe it would’ve shed some light on the entire relationship for me.. but I was young so I don’t know. But I’m generally in the camp of if friends and family don’t like him, then there is a huge red flag you’re missing.

With that being said, my FH asked my grandfather’s permission out of respect. We had already been together over 7 years and he has a great relationship with my family. We weren’t worried what my gpa would say, but we figured it would honor my dad and my family if FH asked our family patriarch for his blessing.

Post # 9
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My husband asked and my dad happily said yes. My parents were apparently so excited after he asked they couldnt be around me until he asked me…haha

If my dad said No I would have a long talk with him on why he said no and probably reconsider my relationship with my boyfriend. I am extremely close with my parents and I idolize their relationship they have what I always wanted, and now have. If they did not think we were right I hope they would speak up. I dated someone for a while my parents were not happy with and my mom told me after if he had tried to propose she would have spoken up. I eventually realized he was wrong for me, my mom just noticed sooner.

Post # 10
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

To me it is just a tradition and I personally don’t like it, to me it just feels like the most sexist thing out of anything involved in marriage, as if even though I am a grown woman he still has to ask my parents to have me like they own me. 

FI didn’t and I am glad, my father would’ve said yes but my mother would’ve said no and then created a dramatic stink about it. Then if my mother had said no he probably wouldn’t have wanted to propose to me!

Post # 11
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

If my parents had said no to FI wanting to marry me there definitely would have been a conversation as to why they felt that way. I’ve always been close to my parents and know they would always have my best interest in mind. I think for them to say no, they would have a pretty good reason and I want to take that into consideration. Of course that’s all easy to say when that did not happen – he asked and my parents (father) said yes.

Post # 12
5432 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

I’m very close with my parents, so I probably wouldn’t if they disapproved. I think it would probably cause me to re-evaluate my relationship with him to try and see the issues that they were seeing. If it was an issue of age (we got engaged two weeks before we turned 21), then we would wait until we were a bit older to make them happy. Luckily my parents gave him their blessing. It was so funny, they thought I was pregnant or something because my FI was so nervous and serious when he went to ask them ahah. They were so relieved when he asked if we had their blessing to get engaged 😉

Post # 13
2117 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I knew my dad wouldn’t say no, and FI didn’t really ask for his permission anyway, more so for his blessing. If he HAD said no (and like I said, I knew he wouldn’t), it wouldn’t have changed my mind whatsoever. It was important for me to have him to “ask” my dad (who I knew in turn would tell my mom) so they knew it was coming; I didn’t want them to be totally caught off guard.

Post # 14
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@MrsPanda99:  Yes I would marry my FI anyway. My mother knows me to a point because she raised me but she doesn’t “know me 100% or got my type of guy”. An ex, who I’m still friends with, my mother couldn’t stand us together (even though se liked him in the beginning) after some drama we broke up and honestly I love my FI to death but he will make someone else a good husband someday… we are better off as friends. I feel she wasn’t right in judging him and when she tries to play match maker the guy is totally wrong so unless her reasons are cheating or abusive chacteristics then I don’t think her “no” would stop anything. My father “gets” me more and as much as I would have been happy for his blessing it wasn’t the most important thing. I will say I think my father likes FI more than me lol so him saying no never crossed our mind. However FI never asked for their blessing he made his intentions known and respectfully informed them that it was coming even tho after over 7 years (before engagement) together they knew it was coming soon. 

Post # 15
5518 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

I honestly have no idea how I would react.  I imagine if either had gripes they would mention it before the relationship was entering the engagement phase.

Post # 16
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrsPanda99:  DH didn’t ask, but if he did and dad said no it would have given me great pause since I highly value my dad’s opinion, not because I needed permission. 

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