I'm going to smack the crap out of the next person…

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@the_newlymintedmrs-s17:  I realized there is two things you cannot say to a pregnant woman:

1) Look how big you’ve gotten!

2) Wow! You don’t even look pregnant!

 

Translation in a pregnant woman’s eyes:

 

1) I guess I look like an obese manatee.

2) I guess I’ve always looked like a obsese manatee.

 

I don’t know why people can’t just say, “You look great” and leave it at that, BUT there are some insensitive people out there. I remember the guy that asked me why I was eating, and I said I had to eat because I was pregnant, and he said, “Oh. I would never have noticed since you’ve always been a chubby girl.”

I’m sorry people are rude…it seems to never end no matter what week of pregnancy you’re in.

Post # 4
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

For me I think it’s more the fact that being “Pregnant” means people feel entitled to comment on your body. I’ve never felt more scrutinized about my size, shape, way I’m walking, etc. then right now being pregnant. I don’t think any women likes to feel she is being critiqued regardless of what’s going on but throw in the fact that your suddenly carrying an extra 20 pounds and just feeling blah, NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO COMMENT.

Post # 5
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

 Oh no, poor you, I am always so shocked when I hear these stories.

I didn’t really get any “rude” comments but I used to get annoyed when people asked “You STIIIILLLLL have morning sickness????” I had bad nausea and vomiting for my entire pregnancy and was put on the spot a few times after showing these wonderful symptoms. It was usually child-free female co-workers who asked the question and I never knew how to answer them. Especially because it was usually asked while I was in the midst of an episode. Like, thanks for your thoughtful question….YES I STTTIIIIIIIILLLL GET SICK; now back off before I barf on your shoes!

Post # 6
Member
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Some people are so insensitive. Why would they even ask if you are sure. Stupid people.

 I haven’t gotten any stupid questions yet but as of right now only our parents know. But we have a birthday party to go to next week and I’m sure it will get out quick because 1. I won’t be drinking and 2. my mother in law has a big mouth and she will be there with a lot of her family. So i’m sure the stupid comments won’t be far behind.

Post # 7
Member
898 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@the_newlymintedmrs-s17:  I feel you.

When my grandma came out for my baby shower, all she said to me basically were rude comments like “You look like a mac truck” and crap. This coming from a fat phobic person really pissed me off.

They should stick to the “You’re glowing!” and “You look amazing!” for their own safety.

Post # 8
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@the_newlymintedmrs-s17:  And this is why I’m not looking forward to announcing my pregnancy at work. At my old job when my boss announced she was pregnant a woman who had been working there only a few months and no one liked literally praised Jesus and dropped to her knees in from of my boss and started rubbing her belly. I don’t work with anyone that melodramatic but I’m sure there will be some unwelcome comments.

Post # 9
Member
1436 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@megz06:  +1

Also this gem “you definitely look pregnant now”. What the hell does that mean? 

Post # 10
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I’m sorry for you. I’m 14.5 weeks and showing quite a bit already. People I haven’t seen for a few weeks have been commenting things like “are you sure it’s not twins?” My mother-in-law came up with a gem – “oh my dear you’re going to be absolutely huge!” – not helpful, I cried for days. I think we need to stick with “you look amazing” or “you look beautiful” and that’s it. Grrr. 

Post # 11
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@the_newlymintedmrs-s17:  

“I made it up for fun so that I had an excuse to down graham crackers like its my job and justify my afternoon naps.”

I’m not pregnant, but I kind of want to pretend I am just so I can do those two things right there! I mean, that sounds like Pre-School but way better (because we don’t have a set bedtime as adults).

To be honest though, I don’t really think there is anything anyone can say to someone else without the potential for causing offense. Even saying something as simple as, “You look great!” can get twisted to mean, “I didn’t look great before?”

But yeah, the comments people have made to PPs and to you, those are just ridiculous (and for the record, I’m sure you look beautiful).

Post # 12
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@megz06:  Oh, no. That’s rude? There is this beautiful woman at my work who is so slim except her bump. You can’t even tell from the back. She was complaining about how fat she felt and I said, “not at all! You don’t even look 8 months pregnant.” I hope she didnt take that as rude or that I think she’s fat all the time. 

I’m now officially scared to talk to pregnant women. 

Post # 13
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think we need to come up with a list of beautifully snarky responses to all of the dumb things people feel the need to say to pregnant women. Such favorites as “LOL you know what caused that, right?” or “holy moly you’re huge!” or “you sure it’s not TWINS?” or “haven’t you had that baby yet?!?!”

With a snark dictionary, you’d always be prepared to make the questioners feel like idiots!

Post # 14
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@MrsPanda99:  Lol no! Don’t be! If she directly told you she looks fat, I would think saying she doesn’t even look 8 months pregnant would be ok. If she said she was fat and you said she didn’t even look pregnant, perhaps that would have hurt, but I think your answer was just fine.

Nobody says “you don’t look pregnant” to me anymore because I obviously DO look pregnant (now we are on to jokes about giving birth in the office and seeing my bump before my face-loverly), but when I was just starting to get my bump or when my bump was, well, a massive bloat bubble, the hromonal pregnant woman in me went home and was like, “OMG. I am a cow if I don’t look any different!”

Post # 15
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@megz06:  I’m sensitive about my weight and I’m not pregnant so I would never make it my business to openly comment on anyone’s body, let alone a pregnant woman’s. I was stumped for something to say because she put me on the spot. Obviously I wasn’t going to agree she looked fat 😛 

That’s my rule of thumb – if they mention it first, I will answer. Otherwise they don’t need some Captain Obvious telling them they are pregnant as if they hadn’t noticed.

Post # 16
Member
3119 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MrsPanda99:  I know! I’m sure I’ve said that in the past but only 100% meaning it as a compliment. There are a ton of pitfalls around pregnant women, and somehow at 30 years old and pregnant myself I’m just starting to realize that. 

@megz06:  Haha to your translations! 

I think most people SHOULD know better than to tell someone they look huge, and I know most people say things in good fun or to try to be sweet…but there will always be some people. 

I have the most socially awkward man alive at my work. He’s so unintentionally non-PC and rude (again, unintentionally at least I think) that I’m sure he’ll come up with some zingers at work when I let people know I’m pregnant. The good news is I’m surrounded other than him by young-ish mothers who will likely be far more sensitive. 

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