I'm going to take out a personal loan and I feel so uncomfortable about it

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2006

sarahanne33:  there is nothing worst then the pain of regret. My mom has stayed in an abusive relationship with my dad for 30 years. It doesn’t change or get better. Only worst! Be glad your out! You are doing the right thing!

Post # 3
Member
6026 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Debt isn’t the slippery path to hell that many people make it out to be. A modest personal loan in your circumstances makes perfect sense. You have a steady job and a good income, and you’ve had an unexpected expense in leaving your abusive ex. As long as you’re borrowing from a traditional lender with a reasonable interest rate and no hidden fees, I don’t see anything wrong with your plan. Research your lending options to find the best one for you, read the fine print and make sure to make a monthly spending budget, and don’t stress out over it. 

Post # 5
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee

Horseradish:  This. 

 

sarahanne33:  I’m all for taking out small, manageable, loans when the need arises. In this case, the need has very much arisen. It sounds like you have put a lot of thought into this so it’s not like you’re just jumping to get a loan for no reason. It’s hard to consider being in debt but think of all the positives, you will have your own place, with new stuff (that has warranties), and you’ll be able to take a step up the career path. 

And trust me, buying all new stuff is a lot easier than trying to negotiate with him to get your things back x

Post # 7
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

sarahanne33:  You seem to be a very driven person, so take a breath and know that you’ve done the right thing. No one ever wants to take out a loan, but it certainly will build your credit if you pay it off correctly. The most important thing is that you are out of the relationship, congrats on the promotion, and you’re spending the loan money on things you NEED, not just blowing it. In my opinion, you’re doing what you have to do to move forward, so try hard to focus on the positives!

Post # 8
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

sarahanne33:  What about a credit card with a 0% introductory rate (usually for at least a year).  Get one with cash back perks and you can make back some of the money you spend…  I have a chase freedom card that I really like, and a bank america travel card, but they make cash back ones too.

Post # 9
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

sarahanne33: is it possible to get a 0% interest rate credit card? That will give you liquidity without interest and fees. 

I’d do that and take the smallest personal loan possible. 

Congrats on moving on with your life. So proud of you — you can do it!!

Post # 11
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

sarahanne33: I’ve never had to roll existing debt over, just opened them. It’s how I financed multiple unpaid internships as I started my career, without paying any interest.

Check out NerdWallet (google it, since I’m on my phone) — it will ask some questions and match you with various credit card offers that may fit your needs. YMMV depending on your credit worthines, financial situation and what you are looking to get out of your card. 🙂

make your payments on time and make sure you pay off the card before the 0% interest rate ends!

Post # 12
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee

It’s a good step forward. You sounds like you are approaching this sensibly, and provided you have done the research that you are getting a loan you can comfortably manage, there is nothing wrong with this. It feels like debt has become almost stigmatised; but you are taking out a small loan to help you on your way,nothing more.

I’m sure you have already, but if not, make sure you’ve got a monthly budget written out so you have an amount segregated. Also factor, if interest rates rise (which is possible in the next 1-2 years) how that will change your repayment requirement and how that factors in to your plan.

I’m so impressed you’ve got so much on your plate AND doing part time uni. You’re a force to be reckoned with! Good luck!!

Post # 13
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee

PS: take a breath! Sit yourself down with a cup of tea and slow down a bit. If the university assignments are significant ones, perhaps it is worth asking for an extension to give yourself some breathing room. People hit personal roadblocks all the time.. Professors are human too.

Post # 14
Member
4900 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

You already accomplished the hardest part–you left your abuser.  That’s worthy of high kudos all by itself.

And you managed to hold down a job & even get yourself promoted while going through hell?  You’re an amazing woman!

I think you’re fine taking out a small loan to set yourself up.  You geuinely need furnishings, etc to start your new life.  And you certainly sound financially responsible.  Personally, I think you’re better off with new things than old stuff you shared with your abuser.

Post # 15
Member
31 posts
Newbee

I understand the loan for rent+ultlites …but I dont understand taking out a loan for furniture that doesn’t sound like a sound financhial decision to me. You dont NEED a bed or NEED a couch…yes their nice things to have to make you comfortable but you dont NEED them. If I were you I would take out a loan only for the rent + Utilites and for a bed and couch I would save up my money and buy the bed + couch when I actually have money to pay for it. There is nothing wrong with sleeping on the floor (get a mattress pad their like $70) and that can act as your mattress/Bed until you can afford one. Get really big pillows (sold at any home goods store) and use that in your living room to lean on until you can afford a couch.

Getting into debt over furniture just doesn’t seem smart to me.

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