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Awww bakerella, at least its almost over!! I had 4 BMs, and they did about 80%,10%,5%,5%, of the work. My BFF did so much, my sister was next, then my other BF (but in her defense she was planning her mothers entire wedding by herself so she had an excuse) and my other friend did nothing but show up to the bridal shower and the wedding. It was ridiculous. So sorry she is being this way, maybe you can go on endless.com and find a pair that YOU like and offer to buy them for her and then return them after she wears them (I know, you shouldn't do that but just a suggestion). Or even better - find ones YOU like so you can have them after the wedding (if you are the same size)! Or try to sell them on here... What color do you want? I know it sucks, girls can be such bitches, and its your wedding so they shouldn't be like this right?? Totally sucks, nothing you can do about it, but at least you only have a couple more weeks to deal with it and then you can take a hiatus from dealing with them for a while afterwards
@MrsSl82be: I just wonder why all of a sudden she's bitching at me!!! She was awesome in the beginning, super helpful and always wanted to help. She understood my emotions when another BM was being a pain in the butt and stood by me. Now all of a sudden a couple weeks out she's being a huge pain herself!!! As if I don't have enough on my plate now I have to deal with her?! Are you serious?! Plus the rest of her email was all cheery cheery normal tone. I don't even think she knows that the way she's talking about it could be taken as hurtful or rude. I didn't email her back because I seriously want to tell her to shut the F up, I offered to buy her shoes, I don't want to hear her complain about likely never wearing them again. Just say "I got shoes! I think you'll love them!" and shut up! I mean, we've all been BMs and you always make sacrifices to be one, so just grin and bear it! UGH!!!! Thank you for reading my vent btw, I appreciate it. And for sympathizing.
Okay I re-read the email. She said the colour she kept seeing was a brighter one than what she bought, so she was relieved to find the right colour because she knew she would never wear the other colour again. That makes it marginally better. She still complained about the style and price. Ugh whatever.
@Swiss Miss to Bee: LOL! Thanks! You know you're just bitching when someone can only offer you hugs to help you get over it! LMAO!!!! Seriously. The cats are looking at me like I"m nuts while I sit here laughing at my own bad attitude today!
@bakerella: Boo, no one should have to deal with that kind of acting up ever, but especially not 2 weeks out. Maybe she's jealous? Maybe she's crabby about something else and is taking it out on you? Who knows. :( Take a day or so before you e-mail her back again, so you can take the high road after you cool down. I'd be upset right now, too!
I like @MrsSl82be's suggestion about finding shoes you can re-sell or something... I'm so sorry your BM is being a non-helpful friend right now!
@jduck84: This woman loves shoes. Honestly, even if she never wears them again she'll keep them like trophies in her closet, LOL! I don't think re-selling would be an option, although I'm still willing to pay for them to make her stop complaining. She has been really stressed at work which was the root of why she yelled and cried at me before the bachelorette party and I'm willing to give her allowance for that. But having a year to plan a party and just not doing it is inexusable. If my sister and I hadn't have connected the dots I have to wonder what we would have done on the day. Just met up and stared at each other?!
@bakerella: this girl sounds like a pill. i also think she might have told you how much the shoes cost as her way of saying she'll take you up on that offer to pay for them. how many BMs total do you have?
@Ms. Meowerson: She didn't say how much they were, just that they were "slightly pricey". I'll talk to her about it tomorrow and she did say again that she would go shopping with me again, but sounded pessimistic that she'd find anything she'd want to wear. Sigh. I have six BMs total. Two from OOT (both have been pretty helpful when they've been here though!), this grumpy one who started out helpful, one who's never around, my sister who's been great, and another who's been available to help and generally stays in touch but aloof which is totally fine (I know I can depend on her for help if it came down to it). Overall, things could be worse, they're just freaking awful communicators and I hate that the communication I get is only when it's negative. Not once has one of them emailed me just to check in and see if I need anything.
@Ms. Meowerson: LOL! I know! My wedding shoes are $25 red shoes from Target I've had for like 3 years! I suppose she's not a red shoe type of gal?! Ugh whatever. But seriously, it's just for a few hours. Buy a cheapo pair at Payless and change into flip flops for the rest of the night. There's no need to spend over $100 on a pair that you'll never wear again if they're not your style.
Sounds like you are handling it the right way. I'm sorry you have someone else dumping her self-centered negativity all over you right now. It's your day, and it's a good thing it sounds like you have other people in your wedding party who can remember that and not make it all about themselves!
Hey Bakerella, is that you sitting across from me IN THE SAME FREAKIN BOAT?
Seriously, I have good BM's but they have stupid moments...like when they wanted to only pay $60 for a hotel room by the ocean for my bach. party...I said forget it because I wasn't staying in a dump (which is all MOH could find for that price, MOH/Sister was against the dump also). If it wasn't for my MOH/Sister I probably wouldn't be having a bach. party b/c she does all the planning.
I'd tell your problem BM that she can either get the shoes and stop complaining or she can excuse herself from your wedding and remind her that you are stressed enough and she is adding to that. Also remind her it is YOUR day not hers so she should be a good friend and just go with what you say since you are the bride.
@bakerella: well, staring contests are ALWAYS fun! I kid, I kid.
I hope the BM is less of a drama queen today!
@Soon2beeMrsM: Don't even get me started on the whole schmoozle of my bach. party. Ugh. I'm trying to keep in perspective that I had fun. Mostly. LOL!
I'll have to check in with Madame Shoes this afternoon and see when she wants to go shopping. Because, you know, I have so much time. sigh.
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Beekeeper
So I'm two and a half weeks until the wedding. My bachelorette party was last weekend which one of my BMs totally screwed up planning (meaning it basically didn't get planned until the last minute when my sister stepped in and did it) and she ended up yelling at me and crying on the phone when I told her I was hurt and let down. My bachelorette party was basically an amalgamation of what other people wanted to do rather than what I wanted to do and pretty much was a let down in itself. At the party the BM who yelled and cried at me also got pretty rude with me because apparently she missed the message SIX MONTHS AGO that she needed to buy a particular colour of shoes (I'm pretty sure we've even talked about it since the original email) and was apparently complaining to my sister at the party about the shoes and now she had to spend more money and whatnot. I didn't prescribe them to wear a particular dress, she picked one that was in her budget, and they're paying $110 each to get their hair and make up done on the wedding day (I'm also subsidizing the cost to bring it down to that point which she knows). I'm paying for everyone's mani/pedis plus other BM gifts. She's complaining about buying shoes. She buys at least one pair of shoes a week (seriously not an exaggeration) and she doesn't have cheap taste. She has a good job so I know it's not a money issue, I think she just likes to complain.
So since she complained, I offered to buy her the shoes as her birthday present which I admitted was a selfish gift but at least she wouldn't have to pay for them. She didn't really say yes or no, but said we should go shopping which I took to be somewhat of an agreement with the idea.
Then today she emails me saying she found a pair of shoes, but that they're not the style she normally buys and she knows they'll never wear them again and they were kind of expensive. Clearly she's unhappy with the whole situation and has made it known a few times over now. What am I supposed to say to that?! I'd really like to tell her to stuff it. I'm so frustrated. I'm freaking two weeks out from my wedding, I offered to take a bloody afternoon to buy you f-ing shoes but instead you email me with passive aggressive comments about the shoes you decided to buy to make me feel bad?! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I F-ING HATE PEOPLE TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In particular, I'm really fed up with my BMs and I can hardly wait to not have to deal with their crap any more!!!! I've barely asked anything of them and I've gotten nothing but humming and hawing and complaining. It's driving me bloody nuts!!!!! I should say, a couple of them have been great, but two in particular have been making me crazy. UGH!
Okay that's out. Thank you.