Post # 1
Hi Ladies! I’ve got sort of an odd problem.
My company recently hired a new guy, who works on the opposite side of the building from me. From the first day I met him, I got bad vibes (picture ex-con meets techno rave guy). I was poite, but never really went out of my way to talk to him. We’re a small company – so we all interact on a regular basis.
Things were fine for the first few days, but he’s recently started coming on to me in FULL FORCE. He’s asked me out, and I made it VERY clear that I’m engaged…planning my wedding…can’t wait to get married…etc. He doesn’t seem to get it. He’s started texting me at all hours (he got my number off the company phone list), and actually went on my computer in MY office when I had facebook open and friended himself! He’ll come and just sit in my office, even if I’m ingoring him or tell him I have alot of work to do. I’m a nice person and hate making others feel bad or weird..but it’s getting a little out of hand. I keep my interactions with him short and I dont respond to any of his texts. Here’s the kicker. This guy hangs out at clubs alllll the time, and one of his favorite clubs happens to be right across from my wedding venue!!
I haven’t said anything to Mr. Casanova yet – I’m afraid he’d flip! Any advice?
Post # 3
Creepy. Tell him, once, firmly, that you are not interested in dating him, and he needs to stop contacting you if it isn’t work related. If he continues, document, document, document! Delete nothing! You can take it to a manager or HR then, because he’s straying hard into harassment.
Post # 4
Ask him to stop and if he doesn’t, go to HR. Seriously, that is sexual harrassment.
Post # 5
you need to discuss this with HR or your manager immediately!
you need to have it on written record that this guy is being inappropirate and you need to keep everything he sends you (ie texts)
tell him straight out you are uncomfortable and he is not welcomed in your office unless it is work related and he is not to contact you
i had a guy that use to sit IN my chair after hours at night to look at the maps on my walls because it “relaxed him” he said. freak! speak up now before it because a bigger problem
Post # 6
Sounds a little like sexual harassment to me. I mean, it’s getting there IMO. Creepy, intense, invasive?
Shoot him an email (its proof) that you don’ t appreciate his advances and while he’s a nice guy and all, you’re not really friends to the point that you are comfortable with him making himself at home so much. You’ll just have to ask him to leave your office. Cube crashers! I know what you’re talking about. There is a union guy in the back of oru building who’s very friendly with me (nothing creepy except asking for a piture of me in a halloween costume last year, ick) but i save every single email in case it goes over the line.
I think being blunt is the first way to go. Then he cannot misconstrue your actions. Be nice, but you don’t know this guy. Maybe he’s a player, but maybe he could jump you on your way to your car. I don’t trust people. Period. If it gets worse, go have a talk with your manager. Technifally they are legally required to report sexual harassment. But if you just go feel him/her out on the topic and say “is he this friendly with everyone?” you might find out he’s just obnoxious OR that they think it needs to be address
Don’t be afraid to speak up if you are uncomfortable. I once had a man fired 4 years ago for talking to all my coworkers about how great in bed i’d be. apparently he ran around saying “oh i bet she’s a moaner” and i was like, 18 at the time. gross. well, he got fired immediately, kept trying to come back and apologize and the manager just kept him out and said he wasn’t welcome. Do what you gotta do to be safe; it’s the smart thimg!
Sorry men like this make me uncomfortable. you got bad vibes for a reason girl!
Post # 7
creepy, i agree with everyone else and just remove him from your facebook friend acct, what a nut!
Post # 8
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
Hostile work environment! Go to HR immediately, and don’t try to be polite anymore.
Post # 9
Hmm if it’s a small company, maybe there won’t be an HR person to talk to? You could always talk to your manager…
Have you saved all the txts you’ve gotten? That would make great evidence against him… irrefutable.
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2010 - Heron Hill Winery
I agree with what everyone is saying…talk to someone hire up…it is my experience that you shouldn’t just smile and be nice, sometimes creeper will misinterpret this as a come on. It sound sketchy and it worrie me that he may find a way to find where you live…I am also paranoid about these things though
Post # 11
Be blunt in your interactions with him and TELL YOUR HUSBAND. He needs to know what is going on so he can support you in dealing with this. Plus, if this guy crosses the line and tries to hurt you, your husband will probably be the first to know that you are in danger.
Post # 12
I agree with the people above. I woudl delete him off my facebook immediately. I would also consider blocking his number on your phone.
Post # 13
I DEFINITELY agree with the other members who have already posted…this is borderline sexual harassment. Seek an HR rep or a manager immediately…what he’s doing is wrong!
Post # 14
All I can do is echo the advice of previous posters. What a jerk! I’m sorry you have to deal with this. No one should have to work in a hostile or uncomfortable environment.
Post # 15
I would definitely tell you FI about it before he starts noticing calls and texts from some guy and jumps to the wrong conclusion. You should talk about it with him now and get his advice.
Post # 16
I agree with everyone, tell your FH and go to HR. It is NOT ok to pursue someone like that in the workplace, especially when it’s been made obvious that the advances are unwelcome. What a creep! Hang in there, and don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and report him to HR or management.
If you’re worried you’ll feel bad about him being fired, don’t be. It’s his actions, not yours, that would lead to his termination. And how else is he supposed to learn that it’s unacceptable if he’s never reprimanded for it.