I'm having a real issue being "honored" (Poll)

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I get involved?
    No - you're the bride, let your MOH take the reigns and just relax! : (15 votes)
    60 %
    Yes - you're the bride, it's your responsibility to make sure everyone is comfortable with the plans : (9 votes)
    36 %
    Other (explain) : (1 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 2
    8387 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    BurlapnLace:  If you think that it will make the other members of your wedding party feel uncomfortable, I’d probably recommend something else to your MOH.  However, take my opinion with a grain of salt, I didn’t want a bachelorette party, shower, my girls didn’t purchase anything (dresses, shoes, jewelry, etc) because having them there and happy with me on my wedding day was more important than anything else.  If I wanted an experience, I felt is was my responsibility to fund it, but then again I don’t really get the whole “I’m a bride so I deserve X” mentality.

    Post # 3
    3088 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    If it were me, I would just bring up ahead of time with your other bridesmaid and bridesman what you had suggested and what your MOH may be planning. This way they are aware of what is going to be suggested, but for the most part, let them be the judge of whether they can afford it or not. I have been on both ends of the spectrums where brides have wanted an out of control weekend I simply couldn’t afford and bowed out, to being able to full partake in all aspects of the fun. More than likely, your bridesmaid/man already have an idea that this is going to cost money and should be prepared to spend a little cash, but let them decide if they can afford it or not.

    Like I said above, I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum and now that I’m engaged I am sensitive to the different brackets my group of friends fall into. So no, I will not be planning some out of control weekend, however, my sister suggested a relaxing weekend in Miami getting massages and manicures and lounging by the pool–love! Will everyone be able to afford to go? Maybe not: It will require a hotel, paying for their dinners, massages, nails, etc., but at the same time, it sounds like heaven to me, so I understand if they can’t go. On the flip side, I am in a wedding this fall and the bride is so concerned with having an “affordable” bachelorette that doesn’t cost us girls any money that it’s turned into a total snooze fest! Sometimes you have to spend a little money to have some fun. As long as the bottom line from your bachelorette party isn’t astronomical, I’m sure it won’t be a problem.

    Post # 4
    43 posts

    So i had a REALLY hard time planning my Bachelorette party. I went back and forth on where it should be etc. ALL of my bridesmaids are spread out all over the country so no matter what people were going to have to travel. In the end I decided to have it close to me I live in DC and we are going to Delaware beaches. Since I am not going to have to fly I put the money that I would have spent on the flight tward a night at the hotel since I know that it is not cheap for the other girls. In the end my best friends are coming and my sister is not since she waited too long to book her ticket and prices went up too much. I think that you do what you can, if you and your MOH can pay a little more to make it more afordable for the other girls then do it and go all out, if some of them cant make it, thats not a huge deal. OR if its really important to have everyone there and you want to do something less expensive and more low key just let your MOH know. 

    Post # 5
    371 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    BurlapnLace:  this sounds like it’s just your personality so it will be hard to just let go and enjoy the time and not worry how it affects the other people. I do think that talking with everyone involved will help you feel better. Most people who agree to be in your wedding are going to expect the extra costs associated with it. By talking with them about it, they could better plan and feel more comfortable. Is your MOH in contact with the people involved? Maybe she could talk with the people and let them know that this is something she wants to do for you and then discuss the associated costs. That being said- our families/friends are very spread out in different states so I thought it was insane to have people come for more than the wedding. I told MOH no engagement party, bridal shower, or bachelorette party. It’s really your comfort level. hope this helps

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  Sara1923.
    Post # 6
    1244 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    BurlapnLace:  I would let her plan it, but have her contact the other people and find out what their budget is first. Either that or if she’s willing to pay more to cover the others then that works as well.

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