(Closed) I’m having a wedding related break down…I think…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

First of all, congratulations on your engagement.

I can sympathize with you….I live in San Francisco where everything is extreme including most wedding budgets.  When my FI and I were first planning our wedding, we were going to have all of our friends and family from around the country and world come in.  I started having serious breakdowns – crying, snapping, anxiety – over it.

We finally came to agreement that it wasn’t worth the stress and threw it all out the window.  We had even already asked people for addresses for save the dates.  In 26 days, we’re getting married with just our immediate families present (12 people).  It’s small, intimate and low stress!  It is truly the best decision we made together.

I’d rather have my sanity and our relationship stronger than ever than a big wedding.  I’m happily living vicariously through Wedding Bee and some friends as they plan their big weddings.  Part of me is sad but the biggest part of me is very happy!

Good luck with your decision.

Post # 4
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I think as long as you haven’t sent out save the dates or anything like that you should absolutely change your plans so you can get the wedding you want.  This far out you should be able to get some if not all of your deposits back.  And even if you don’t, the 4k they invested plus the 2-3k for the new wedding is still less than the 15k it would cost to continue with the Charleston wedding. Just one more thing though.. you don’t mention how your fiance would feel about the change.  I would discuss all of this with him FIRST so you two are on the same page before you say anything at all to your parents.

Post # 6
Member
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Can your parents get the 4k back? If they can then heck why not go cheaper and do what you really want!

Post # 7
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think many parents don’t realize how expensive weddings can be these days (even if you’re being budget conscious!) I think it’s a good idea to speak with your parents about this. Make sure you emphazise that you really don’t want to burden them with a huge financial debt. I’m sure you will come to a decision that everyone is happy with. Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

As I said before even if you are out the 4K it sounds like you will still spend less money by changing your plans and you will get the wedding you want!  It sounds like your Fiance is on board so go ahead and talk to your mom about how you are feeling.  If you think your parents are concerned about the budget getting out of control they may be relieved to hear your suggestion.  A lot of places will refund your deposit as long as they get rebooked for the day you had reserved them for and since you proposed wedding date is almost a year away I would think they would have any problems getting rebooked.

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