(Closed) I'm having mixed feelings?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I think you guys should decide together. It’s kind of unclear though, do you want a more expensive ring or don’t you? Once you decide, talk it over with him and see if you guys can find something together. 

Post # 4
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee

As a recent college grad and the SO of a man who is currently unemployed, I know exactly how you feel. After having come to terms with the idea of a gemstone ring, you start feeling bad about the thought of him spending 4 figures on you because it’s what you wanted in the first place.

Honestly I think you should just let him do his thing and spend whatever he was planning on spending. Even though it is 2012 and we’re evolved women who can pay the bills and all that, some guys (mine included) still like to flex their money muscle from time to time. Whether it’s to show off to his buddies or because he thinks you deserve something spectacular, very little is going to change his mind about the price point he has decided on, especially now that he has the means to pay for it.

So, relax! He’ll still make a smart financial decision 🙂

Post # 5
Member
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Have you heard about moissanite? It’s a clear stone, almost as strong as diamond, and extremely sparkly, but it costs much much less. And they make it in heart shapes

http://www.moissaniteco.com/moissanite_loose_stones.html

My philosophy with rings is that you should get whatever you like aesthetically for as little money as possible, and that something that will physically last is really important too. So if you’re not comfortable with your BF dropping a huge amount of money on a diamond, I’d say keep looking! There’s so many different ring options out there

Post # 6
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

@misskittenn: IMO you have every right to want something nice and special, but it is ok also to be practical and consider the situation you guys are in. i think you are right to be concerned about finances too. Had you found something you really love below $500, if you had maybe consider that? or add a few hunderds on top. You mention the current job is temporary, i dont know how temporary it is but in your shoes i would also be worried of spending too much. 

MabelleBliss‘ suggestions sound good, keep searching.

Post # 6
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

@misskittenn: IMO you have every right to want something nice and special, but it is ok also to be practical and consider the situation you guys are in. i think you are right to be concerned about finances too. Had you found something you really love below $500, if you had maybe consider that? or add a few hunderds on top. You mention the current job is temporary, i dont know how temporary it is but in your shoes i would also be worried of spending too much. 

MabelleBliss‘ suggestions sound good, keep searching.

Post # 7
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

i understand your predicament – my SO is financially stable, but not wealthy or anything like that. i feel dizzy about how much he is spending for my ring. i’ve tried to talk him out of it and try to convince him that it’s not necessary, but he was pretty adamant about getting me the best he could. he said he had gotten advice from friends and family that the ring is forever and it’s a good investment he won’t regret, and is something worth spending as much as you can on. obviously i’m grateful, but sometimes i do freak out! but i also want this symbol to be something he cherishes and feels proud of forever, so i decided to let it go and let him get what he wants. as long as your SO is not going to be in financial danger and it will be a responsible amount for his means, i think letting him choose what he wants to give you in terms of monetary value is not such a bad thing.

Post # 8
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

What about laboratory created diamonds? They are considerably cheaper and would do the trick without anyone knowing until you wanted to get an upgrade? My neighbor got one for her engagement (they are really really easygoing people) and it’s absolutely gorgeous, you can’t even tell the difference and it was a fraction of the price. She didn’t even end up getting a real diamond because she liked her lab one so much 🙂

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