Post # 1
So FI’s bachelor party is tomorrow. Starting at 9AM. They are going paintballing. GREAT! Sounds awesome. But you know that them starting at 9AM means they have plenty of time to end up with the strippers later. This totally stresses me out for some reason. I know my fiance is too shy to really get into too much trouble with them but his friends will be pushing and pushing to do totally inappropriate things and this worries me. Why are the parties always about what the friends want and not what the groom wants? It irritates me. I think it’s just so disrespectful to celebrate marriage that way. But anyway, I have to vent here so I don’t go crazy on any of them, including my FI.
What sucks even more is I have to work tomorrow. Then when I come home I’ll need something to distract myself but I can’t even go out with friends because I work the next day too. I really wish I could just go out with my girls and drink the night away so I wouldn’t just be sitting here thinking about it. 🙁
Post # 3
Why does this bother you so much? And why do you let it bother you so much?
Your fiance is a full-grown man and is going to see a whole lot of boobs other than yours over the next however-many years of his life. Boobs are everywhere. They’re on broadcast TV in Europe even! It is *impossible* for any woman to prevent her husband from ever seeing another woman’s boob, or shakin’ booty, for the rest of his life, short of surgically removing his eyes.
And unless he’s a total douche, the worst he’s gonna do is what most guys do in strip clubs— pay too much for drinks, act like total idiots, be scared to talk to the girls (or look them in the eye… lots of shoe-gazing in a strip club), and just about have a stroke when one of his idiot friends buys him a lap dance. He’s not going to knock up a stripper, or find a girl there that he likes better than you, and if he does, well good riddance. He may act like a complete idiot, but at least he’s YOUR idiot. Chances are, he’s not going to come home as someone’s baby daddy and he’s not going to skip the coming-home part.
Which brings me back to… why does this bother you so much, and why do you let it?
Post # 4
Paintball sounds really fun. At least they aren’t starting with the strippers at 9am, right?
Post # 5
@whitandrior: Don’t let those thoughts and doubts make you miserable. You can’t stop birds (thoughts) from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair!
You obviously trust him enough to be your future husband and the father of your kids (if you want children). So you must believe that he’s an honorable man. Trust also that no amount of pushing from his friends will make him do anything inappropriate or disrespectful to you, especially when he has decided to commit to you for life.
Post # 6
Have you talked to him at all about how this makes you feel? I know bachelor party/stripper discussions on these boards always seem to get pretty divisive. The fact of the matter is, all women have different opinions about the topic and are entitled to feel however they want about it. If you are bothered by it and, as you said, stressed out about it, then I personally think it is something that you need to communicate with him. And in my opinion, if he respects you as much as he should, he would choose not to participate in such activities even if it’s what his friends want to do.
Post # 7
@fishbone: It bothers me because boobs on TV are a lot different than boobs that you can touch/will touch him. BUt regardless of that, like I said, it’s pretty disrespectful for this particular event. I don’t even really mind strip clubs that much, he and I have been to strip clubs together even. I did not think he would knock anyone up. But even a private dance with inappropriate touching gets to me.
@kerensa: Haha, right! Let’s just hope they save the drinking for after and no one loses an eye.
@Cyanfire: He is a good guy. Guess I’m jaded by too many horror stories.
Post # 8
@lunabella: We’ve talked. He says he’s not even sure they will go to a strip club, but knowing these men, they will. He doesn’t want to disappoint his friends.
Bottom line… it’s not that big a deal, but I wish I didn’t have to sit home while it was going on.