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I sh*t you not. I saw a spider the size of my fist in my living room 2 hours ago and I have not moved from my post since. I have a THING about spiders. That thing is: What if I'm sitting on the sofa watching tv and a spider crawls across me. Honestly I would die.
I saw the spider when I was doing sit ups this morning. I screamed at it, it fled into my TV podium. For the first 40 minutes I sat in the same spot, wondering if I could leave my watchful position to go find my phone and call someone to kill the spider. I realized my phone was on the tv podium thing, where the spider is higing in wait for me. So I can't go get the phone.
I realize my laptop is on the sofa, but what if there's another spider IN the sofa waiting for me? What if the spider I think I'm imprisoning in the tv poium has escaped and gotten into the sofa.. and is waiting for me.
You can tell I got the laptop. I emailed my FI and told him in no uncertain terms he needs to come home from work. He needs to kill this spider - I'm fairly certain some child released their pet tarantula in our building and it got into our apartment. ITS THAT BIG AND IM NOT EXAGGERATING.
THank the lord I'm marrying someone who can take time off from their busy workday to come home and kill this spider. To be fair, I called many friends first to see if someone could come rescue me.
I have not left my post. What if it gets out of the tv podium? IT COULD EAT MY CAT it's that big.
I know I'm insane. If you read this tirade in its entiretly or even clicked on this thread, you too have mental problems. Please think of me fondly as I act as sentinel until FI returns.
AW. You poor thing. Hopefully FI gets there soon. Try to snap a photo! I am dying here.
Once, I came back from a vacation to see what may (or may not) have been a cockroach on the floor of our first crapy apartment together. FI was still on vacation at his mother's house (3 hrs away). I sat on the kitchen table with my cat all night. I called FI in hysterics at about 9pm. Sure enough, around 12:30, he came through the door, having drove all the way home just to get the "thing" (that I call a cockroach and he calls a "beetle"). Gotta love our men.
ooo, good luck. big spiders are creepy!
That sounds EXACTLY like every spider incident I've ever had, big or small. Once my FI was on a trip in New York while I was home alone. A really big one was on the wall by the front door at midnight when I went to take the dog out. I yelled for my dog to go back in the bedroom and called 5 people to come kill the spider before someone would finally come do it.
I'm holding my breath for you too!
Update: FI's arrived. Still working on the spider. His exact words when he saw it "Holy Sh*t that is a Big Mother Fuc*er". He's trying to figure out a way to transport it back to work to show his friends (he works at a University - theyre ALL CRAZY).
We still haven't figured out how to transport it. We put it under a glass and I've been isntructed to watch it carefully unless it can MOVE THE GLASS.
Hahahaha! I'm sorry but that's hilarious. Not that you're trapped by a spider because I'm terrified of them but about the spider under the glass.
We will sometimes get camel crickets (<--do not google them, unless you want the crap scared out of you) and I won't go in our basement if I see them - usually I send a puppy to chase after them and properly maul them to death.
HAHAHAHA. Amazing that he wants to bring it back to work to show his friends.
OMG OMG OMG!!!!! i totally just went into an itching and screaming frenzy when reading this.
i, too, am a huuuuge huuuuge baby when it comes to anything with more than 4 legs.
we had an incident not too long ago when i got up in the middle of the night to go tinkle. on the way back i thought i saw something move on the floor, went to the light to flick it on to see what was going on and theres a spider the size of my palm staring back at me.
needless to say i scared the crap out of FH screaming, and was paralized in fear until FH snapped me out of it to go get the raid since this thing would NOT be killed with a shoe - it was THAT big.
took about a half can of raid for that baby to stop moving.
*shudder*
hope you get it the heck out of the house!!!
O my GOSH i cant even tell you how much i hate spiders!!! Glad your FI got it taken care off. Eww ****Goose Bumps****
I would FREAK THE F*CK OUT!!!! I am terrified of spiders and bugs, but FI IS EVEN MORE AFRAID OF SPIDERS!!! Any other bug he will get for me, but he'll scream like a girl and push me in front of him with spiders. LMAO!!! Good luck :)
We flushed it. Ahhh. sweet relief.
I persuaded FI not to transport it by asking him if he wanted to be in the car alone with it and he startled wigglign in horror at the thought.
Initially I was like "we can put it outside" because it's a bug but even a bug is somebody's mother or something hippie-ish that I like to think I am BUT OH MY GOD IT NEEDED TO DIE.
Soooo flusheroos. I was terrified that we were going to clog the drain with the size of this spider.
Thanks for seeing me through this, ladies. :p
haha I totally get like that with bugs but one time I had to kill it myself because it was hours before my husband would get home and I literally took a wack at it and it was laying on the ground dying and I couldn't summon up the courage to pick it up and throw it in the trash until like 30 mins later because I was so disgusted.
Camrie, the house I lived in during college would get those in the basement too! So awful.
I've been stranded by centipedes, spiders, mice, a cockroach.. um. everything is gross. And then there was a time I went camping and there were frogs in the shower. I am tormented.
Omg how gross!!
I had to laugh though because I'm the spider killer in our relationship. Everytime my FI see's a spider he "swears" it bit him. He's a guys-guy & you would never expect it looking at him! haha...
I hope you're rescued soon!!
I am glad that he came to your rescue. I am the same way. I once covered my ceiling with raid and household cleaner trying to kill a wasp.
OMG! That is terrifying! I'm glad you took care of it. I don't put any bugs outside because that's where they came from in the first place - they just sneak back in!!
I know how you feel! I once stood (wouldn't even sit) on my bed for 2 hours because I saw a mouse in my apartment. Unfortunately my parents were out of town (no Dad to the rescue!) and I was single at the time. Eventually I had to just suck it up lol. By suck it up I mean stop freaking out long enough to pack up my stuff and move to my parents house for a month... lol...
Okay I'm sorry, but that's kind of funny. And endearing. Never buy a house on the water. We live on a river and CONSTANTLY have spiders all over the place. It's a trade off for beautiful scenery. I've learned not to be too scared of them and I use FI's flip flop to kill them ;) If they're HUGE and scary I get him to kill them or if he's not home I kill them with the flip flop and shriek the whole time.
PICTURES! I may or may not have overestimated the size of the spider when I told FI it was the size of a tomato...
And just for fun, here's a picture of a snake I drew on my FI that I found on my digital camera.
Okay, that's a pretty f'in big spider! It's not fist size, but I would have freaked out too. I'm pretty sure if I tried to squash that with a flip flop it would just bounce off it.
Jesus Christ that's scary! I once called my husband crying while he was at work because there was a wasp in our apartment! It had come through a little hole in our closed window (!) and I was convinced that there was a nest outside and they were all going to come in.
He was exasperated, but he did call a bee removal service for me. I know what it's like to overreact >__>
I am also terrified of creepy crawlers! So much that I don't think I would be able to sit on the toilet after flushing the spider down!!
Be careful! I found, I kid you not, 4 in my house since last week! Seems they are coming around due to the nice Texas weather, lol.
Ok so yes that spider would scare the shit out of me too!!
This might be the funniest psot I've seen on WB, especially that you added in the random photo of the snake you drew on his arm! PRICELESS!
LOL, sahsabahs! You're hilarious! If I were your roommate or neighbor, you would've been rescued already. I am not afraid of spiders at all and have been the designated "spider extreminator" by my girl friends. They shriek and run while I'm the one sent to the front lines to kill "the hideous creature". =)
gahh! that thing is HUUUGE! i'm glad it worked out.
hahahah i could have written this post last week! My DH was away on a business trip and on Thursday night i found a spider that WAS literally palm sized crawling in our laundry room. This was after the cat got some gunk on me and i was weary and having to start laundry later in the evening. I looked up while loading the washer and BLAMMO - huge spider. Ran away screaming and no DH to get it, so i texted the neighbor but he was sleeping. I texted my BFF and she suggested barricading the door shut so i did that. stuffed towels under the door, too. Takes me hours to calm down enough to sleep. I go back up stairs, to my bathroom and wash my face. I look up after rinsing and what do i notice in the mirror?!?! THE HUGE PALM SIZED SPIDER on the wall behind me. I guess it crawled thru the vents to torture me. I couldn't sleep 5 feet away in my bed so i screamed and wailed and just sucked it into the vaccum cleaner. it was a rough night and i'm glad that i'm not alone with this mania! I had the heebie jeebies all weekend!
I. LOVE. THIS. THREAD!
Once when I was single and was sleeping on a futon in my first apt I came home from work around 11pm to find a giant ass spider on my futon. My only bed! I promptly called dad and informed him that he was to come and kill the spider. I was in histerics! He came, couldn't find it and I packed my things to leave. I stayed at my parents for 4 days! I then bought a cat (who eats spiders!) and a proper bed!
Last summer a spider laid eggs on the CEILING of my brother's room. He noticed this happened when a few days later baby spiders were falling from the ceiling and landing on his pillow, bedsheets, floor, dresser......we were incredibly skeeved out. For days we kept finding baby spiders in his bedroom and mine. Needless to say, we did not sleep well that week. Everywhere we'd turn-there was a baby spider!
Although not as paralyzing as a monstrous spider, it was still creepy to find baby spiders in your bed...I have the chills now just thinking about it!
My house sits on what use to be florida orange groves, which I didn't know until after I moved in and rented the house. Apparently there are such things called grove spiders and I"M NOT KIDDING ONE BIT, are the largest mother effers alive. Every spring they come out and nothing helps. I called every pest control company and no one would attempt to "control" spiders they all said they have to be killed on contact. So killing on contact is what we do now. I use to be scared senseless but now I can actually kill one and not die.
OMG In my parents house my bedroom was in the basement and we tried putting in a window a/c unit and it totally sucked! My room got infested with earwigs because the window was so low to the ground, and I didn't even know it was infested until an effin field spider crawled across my chest while I was trying to go to sleep! I didn't sleep in there again til my dad got rid of the bugs. They live in the boonies...
Oh god. I just saw all these new spider horror stories and I might just throw up.
@Melissabegins, ya know I consider myself smart but i never even THOUGHT of using our vacuum cleaner. uhhhwhoops.
That spider is disgusting.
No joke, a few days after I read this post, what is in our fireplace? BUT A HUGE SPIDER! (It was dead, but I still cried until it was flushed down the toilet)
BTW - snake picture = awesome
Why the H*** did you post pictures!?!?! After reading all the posts I have brought my feet up off the floor in fear of something crawling on me only to realize that spiders (even the WORD is GROSS!!) can crawl on chairs!!!
No joke....about 10 years ago I was minding my own business and around 11 pm I went into my room to go to bed (everybody in the house was sleeping) I went to turn my light on, but for the first time ever I actually looked at the light switch and there was a HUUUUUGE wolf spider ON MY LIGHT SWITCH WAITING TO EAT ME!!!! Needless to say I screamed bloody murder and my dad came to the rescue. To this day I will not touch a light switch without looking at it first.
as a kid, i grew up in australia and one day i woke up to a huntsman spider on the ceiling directly above my bed. google it.
i'm totally freaking out about the baby spider post. and i keep thinking i feel things on my arms...
HAHAHAHA omg this is the graetest post ever. I am so sorry your so terrified of spiders. If I lived near you I would come rescue you! spiders dont bother me at all. I definitely dont like them but they dont bother me. My FI hates them so I am the one who always has to kill them.
Awww am I the only one that loves spiders around here? I love this thread though, goes to show you some of the girls here are the spider killers because my dh is a total baby when it comes to bugs too! If I find a big one in my house, I try to trap them, I have a special tupperware and a special thin cardboard for this job! I just place them outside in the bushes. Can't stand to kill them unless my cats (who are homicidal maniacs by the way) have already had a go at the poor bug and its mostly dead when i get to it.
I have super high ceilings since I'm on the second floor of a condo complex thats 3 floors on the other side of us and two floors on our side of the building so once in a while, I see a bunch of little spiders crawling down my ceilings and I have no choice but to use the vacuum cleaner. Or sic my cats on them.
Since we have a bunch of trees in our complex, once in a while you end up walking into a middle of a spider web. eek. that creeps me out a bit, I've found spiders on me about two hours later and have done the silly get it off me dance since some of them are poisonous.
@ILuvDance17: haha "waiting to eat me". Hilarious. I needed this today, thanks bees. 
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