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Your FI sounds a lot like mine in regards to picture taking. I opted for a photographer that specializes in photojournalism style wedding photography. That way you two can act natural & don't have to worry about where to look. In your situation, I don't really think there is much you can do about engagement photos, but maybe discuss your concerns prior to the wedding shoot.
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If you aren't happy with them, you need to not use him for your wedding. Since you have the rights to the photos, can you hire another to retouch them? A good photographer can do wonders with Photoshop. Care to post some of the photos?
I definitely think you should talk about the "style" of photo you are looking for. Sounds like you take a liking to a photojournalistic style. Sit down with your photographer and let him know that is the style of photos you want and what he can do for you for the wedding.
Does he have a portfolio you can look at so you can better understand his style?
I think you have to be aware that there's a BIG difference with what you want and your photographer's style. For example, if you show him the work of a $5000+ photographer but he's only costing you $1000...you will see the difference! Big time!
It seems like you did your research but remember that you're dealing with an artist and no matter how many times you show him the shot you want...he/she won't COPY it! Your photographer, in the end, will do it his/her way. Unless you ask him to copy the shot (and that's a big no-no)...you won't get exactly what you want.
Talk to him and give him an OBJECTIVE list of why you think the pictures are not right. "My picture doesn't look like that photographer's work" should not make the list.
Good luck! 
I don't think there is such a thing as actually "copying" a picture because no one has rights to a pose! People use other's pictures as inspiration all the time. I'm paying right around $3 grand so I think I should get great pictures. If it were just the five shots I was hoping for and didn't get, fine, not a big deal...but there are only maybe two that I like.
You will need to sit him down and talk. Be honest with him that you were not pleased with the eSession photographs and what you did and didn't like about them. It is always helpful to anyone to hear both the pros and cons of their work.
If you sent him samples of what you wanted, it could be possible that he was trying to hard to mimick what you wanted. Which might not be how he approaches posing or shooting. =\
Were all of the photographs depicting you and your fiance looking confused? or Awkward? Those, unless used for outtakes, should have been not been given the ok for you to see.
I was in the exact same situation - except we both pretty much HATED all of our pictures. I had interviewed many photographers, and really went with who we thought was the best for our money (we are paying $4000). I was so excited about the e-pics, and I just was floored when they turned out badly (Not to sound conceited, but I am very photogenic, and these were just BAD).
I would suggest talking to the photographer and telling him what you're looking for. My photographer agreed there were several issues that played into our shoot going badly (weather, nervousness, my ill-fitting bra). After offering to re-do them, for free, in a "mini" e-session, he also gave me some tips on getting better pictures:
1. RELAX and have SEVERAL drinks before the shoot (my FI just looked super nervous in many of the shots.
2. Don’t wear the same clothes. Wear something you are completely comfortable in and won’t spend the whole time fussing with (in many of my first pics, I was messing with my stupid bra).
3. Check the weather the week of the shoot… We can easily cancel the day of. Perfect shooting day: blue sunny day with lots of clouds.
4. Look at the photographer's galleries together - make fun of people, make it fun. Then you'll have an idea of what's expected of you.
5. Give guidelines to the photographer. (Mine were: less kissy shots (just not us), lots of frontal closeups, no shots from below (the dreaded double chin!))
Our new pics turned out SOOOOO much better.
However, I have to tell you that I am still a little nervous about my wedding photos (we can't re-do them!).... I am having a meeting with the photog in a couple of weeks to discuss my expectations. By trade, he is a journalism-style photographer. But most of our good e-pics are posed. I do have to keep reminding myself that I am paying him, this is MY wedding, and he wants to make me happy (because he is a really good guy!)...
Best of luck to you... it's definitely not an easy decision to make, especially when there's a deposit or investment involved.
Hi Miss Sparkle, I was wondering if the photographer you decided to go with is this with a large studio with multiple photographers or a small studio with either just him or a partner? If its a big studio was all the work you were shown actually photographed by him or were they just the best of the studio samples? If its a larger studio you may be able to switch out the photographer but do your homework and make sure you see a whole wedding (not just the best shots) and an eng session before you switch.
My next advice is to sit down and list exactly why you were unhappy. (lack or direction, weird faces, photos are dark or flat, etc) Then go talk to your photographer about these issues. Also does your photographer have a blog they keep current? How does his other current work (not his portfolio) compare to your session?
Also, I know it was mentioned about but style is very important. Just because they take good photos doesn't mean they can just produce photos in a different way because you want/need them to. Every photographer sees things a little different.
Hope this helpedHope this helpped
I'm sorry the e-pics didn't work out the way you hoped, but this is why e-sessions are so important (for both the client and the photographer).
I think you need to talk to your photographer and communicate what worked and what didn't. Like you mentioned, you can say 'I wish you give us more directions on where to look and communicate your ideas to us to help us understand better."
Maybe if he/she can do a mini-session afterwards, you can see if the pictures are better and then decide if you want to switch. (although it sounds like your FI dislikes taking pictures? Would he be ok with another session?)
I also thinkg e-sessions are very different from wedding. E-sessions are more posed and wedding day is more photojournalistic. Did you like your photographer's wedding pictures more when you did your research homework?
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I love pictures. I do! I had been looking forward to our Engagement session for a reeeeaallly long time. I knew this might be the only time, besides our wedding, that my FI allows more than two pictures be taken of him in a row. I had really high expectations and spent so much time compiling a folder of shots that I would love to get. I interviewed seven different photographers, and finally settled on one I was getting the best package deal from for great service and the pictures.
The studio was so accomodating. They threw in the CD so I could get the digital negatives like 3 days after the shoot and wedding, were flexible with other requests I had and I walked out beaming, confident with my selection.
The best part, I met the photographer and we clicked really well. However, the Engagement session was really awkward. Most of my pictures, my fiance and I were confused with whether to look at the camera, each other, smile? No? Many of our pictures just don't look right. They're not baaaaad, but I'm just not happy with them. I'm at the point I'm ready to find another photog to redo them. Whatever, it was just an E-Shoot...but here's the problem.
The photographer is the same guy that is doing our wedding, and I'm scared he's going to not get the shots I want. Even though I emailed him pictures, he took similar ones, but they looked bad. They weren't artistic like the ones I sent him! My question is, should I try to switch photographers? Let them know I'm not satisfied with the E-shots? Hope for the best? I don't want to insult him, we really did get along well, but we only get one shot at these. Thoughts?