(Closed) I’m jealous of you

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Thats sad.  I’m sorry you are feeling this way.  I would try to make the best of it.  Are you getting together with your BMs before teh wedding for a bachelorette party?  If not, I would demand one!  You deserve it! 

Post # 4
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

What if you planned a “girls night” the night before the wedding? Since they will all be in town for the wedding , you could do mani-pedis, wine and just have a fun night.

Post # 5
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I feel like this sometimes. All of my friends have moved to different parts of the state and even country, so its hard to connect with them. Most of the time I do wedding stuff with my mom, but being with your friends is different.

Sorry you’re going through this!

Post # 6
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m sorry to hear this.  I don’t have many close girlfriends, and I actually don’t have any in the state I am living in now.  If I get a bridal shower it will be b/c my FSIL or FMIL planned it.  I think a lot of people are in your shoes.  You should try to organize a girls night out before your wedding though, if you can.

Post # 7
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Its the same for me. All my friends are out of state, married and/or with kids. Single friends can’t relate and/or are bitter. None of the family are super excited either because I am having a DW as well as not a “traditional” wedding of their culture so they don’t “get it”. So yes, there really is no one to share my joy with either. Hence my hours spent on weddingbee while I plan! No bridal showers, no girls’ nights out, no applause after I said yes to the dress (I was alone). But hey I’m getting married in 4 months!

Post # 8
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I have friends from all over, so the Thursday before the wedding they are staying with me and we are doing a girl’s night out. Nothing crazy (no one wants to be hung over for the weekend) but maybe main-pedi’s and a nice dinner out. It’s a special way to spend a little time with my bridal party but also accommodate the fact that they are all over the world right now. Maybe you can see if they could do that? 

Post # 9
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I honestly feel the same way. : I didn’t get many congratulations about being engaged (not even from my family) and no one is excited about our wedding except me and FI – most just treat it as a necessary annoyance. But F*CK ‘EM! After a lackluster bridal dress trial with my unenthusiastic friends I did the next one with my FI instead. He has been my biggest supporter through all this and there’s no shame in that 🙂

Post # 10
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@kankanwed:

 

Hi there! I can relate! I live the other side of the world to my friends and family-(we are getting married at home) I have good friends here but none that would be 100% honest if something looked terrible- and whom I dont want to bore with wedding talk at every given opportunity!

I was also on my own when I got my dress, my MOH is my older sister who HATES when I mention the wedding so I never bring it up ….

Ive organised the whole thing online (Having to put major pressure on FI to look at anything weddingy!- he gets there eventually) 

I went to a day wedding expo on my own too- I was a little glum looking at the other brides and their excited entourage, but then I built a bridge and just got over it!!

 

So Its a bit sad, but what I have decided is, much to the chagrin of everyone else, Im awarding ourselves with a  2 week honeymoon after the wedding, It means we get very little time at home (I’m hearing grumbles from the in-laws already!) but at least after the wedding is done (and what a splendiforous day it will be!!!!) we have 2 weeks to get down and party then!!

 

xxx

Post # 11
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Same here. Everybody seemes to just kinda accept and expect the fact that we are engaged. I wish I could say I had all these exciting trips to bridal salons and shows and vendors and parties and whatever else with the rest of my family and friends but with everything that is going on in their lives I guess I understand their lack of enthusiasm. Don’t get me wrong, they are happy and and excited for me. It just doesn’t feel like the bridal bliss everybody makes it out to be!

Post # 12
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I can relate. My family is out of state and we communicate ideas through private albums on facebook haha. And my it’s the first wedding for my fiance’s family so they don’t know what to do.  And the one that really wants to help, his sister, I think is only doing it so she can plan her own wedding through my resources. It’s a bloody battle, and I hope your hard work and frustration is forgotten on your big day.

Post # 13
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@aruka11: You’re not alone!  I can count on one hand the number of people who congratulated me on my engagement, including Facebook.  My family and I aren’t on speaking terms, my maid of honour is busy with school, my other bridesmaid is teaching English in Brazil, and even if brides could throw their own engagement parties/showers, I’m not the type to call that kind of attention to myself.  So basically, I’ve been engaged for a year, and except for a girl at work who is also getting married occasionally asking me about it, I’ve had NO wedding talk whatsoever in all that time.  I’ve had no engagement cards, no party, no photos, I don’t expect a shower or a bachelorette party, just a whole lot of nothing.

On one hand it sucks and I get why you’re jealous, sometimes I am too.  Not usually though, because I’m not a partier, and I’m planning the wedding to be the bash of the year – I think that will be more than enough for me.  I do wish though that at least a couple of people somewhere would at least pretend like they were even a bit excited for me.  It’s kind of lame to be like “I’m engaged” and the whole world goes “that’s nice”.  :S

Post # 14
Member
3012 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I can somewhat relate.  I don’t have many friends to begin with.  Girl friends that is.  I relate more to guys, but what guy is going to talk wedding stuff with me?  Especially when most of them are upset that I’m engaged to begin with.  Anyways, I have one really good friend, but she is busy with work and has a toddler.  She’s constantly busy.  So, I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this and feel this way.  It’s terrible. 

Congratulations to you though.  I’m sure your wedding and everything will turn out splendid.

Post # 15
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

awww I really do understand sweetie.  It’s hard when other people don’t seem to be as happy for you as they should, and when you just want to be pampered a little bit instead of always being the giver.  I’ve definitely felt like that before too.

I think all you can do is focus on the positives.  You’re getting married soon, have a FI who loves you, and have friends all over the world who care about you, and who are special enough to you for you to call them a BM.  Your special day is going to come and go, and then the real adventure begins!  Hang in there.  I know it’s tough, and you want to be celebrated without feeling like you’re pulling teeth.  Good luck, and know that I’m rooting for you!!! 🙂

Post # 16
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You are not alone in this.  I moved across the country and even though I’ve been in my current place for a year and a half now I have almost no friends, and definitely no one I’m particularly close to, so it’s just my fiance and I.  It does make it a bit hard when you see the stories and photos of bridal showers, engagement parties and all this other stuff that you know you will likely not be getting.  But what really matters is that you found someone who wants to spend the rest of their life with you and you with them and it’ll be about the two of you, no one else.

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