(Closed) “I’m just not that into weddings….”

posted 7 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I would guess that your FMIL is worried/sad about losing her son, and your friend is worried/sad about losing you. Even if they won’t admit it to themselves. This is one of the reasons why weddings seem to bring out the worst in people I think. It’s not always very logical – obviously FMIL won’t lose her son, and obviously your friend won’t lose you. But it’s a transition for them. I’m sure they’ll get used to it. Just keep being your awesome self, be patient but don’t be a doormat and focus on people who will be excited to share your plans 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

People are funny about these things. I had posted stuff on facebook, (don’t anymore) about lookin for wedding stuff (centrepiece doodads etc) and wound up getting ‘bridezilla’ comments from otherwise sensible people. Don’t let it get to you.

Post # 5
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

It took my mom awhile to get into my wedding. She kept thinking about the wedding her son would never have because he had passed. It’s on hard on them

Post # 6
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Try not to worry too much about them, and focus on the people who are “into” weddings!  They might have other things going on in their lives that make it difficult for them to get excited at this point, and sometimes people are just wrapped up in their own little projects to get into your wedding.  Unless they’re slacking on being good, caring people in your life otherwise, I wouldn’t read too much into it.  Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Yeah, sometimes I feel like my entire family is like this… especially my mom.  My mom has never directly said “I’m just not that into weddings.”  What she says instead though is “Well, I don’t really know anything about weddings.”  I just want to yell at her and say, “What, do you think I’m some kind of wedding expert?  This is my first time planning a wedding (plus I’ve never been a bridesmaid either.  I just put in some effort to learn what needs to be done to plan a wedding.”

Basically, since she’s not a “wedding expert”, my mom pretty much doesn’t offer to help with anything (even though she says she will help if asked).  But then when I ask her for some very specific (small) wedding-related favors, and she looks at me like I have 2 heads.  Ugh.

Ok, vent is over now!

Post # 8
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I wasn’t at all into weddings until it was my turn to plan one.  When my friends would talk about their planning, my eyes would glaze.  Now I’m obsessed…

Post # 9
Member
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My sister was definitely not big into weddings. Hence the reason why my cousin was my maid of honor and my sister was a bridesmaid 🙂 I think the whole experience changed her mind in the end though, because last she told me she had found an old victorian house that does weddings that she was interested in… she isn’t engaged yet! Hahaha maybe I turned her into a wedding-obsesser too after all.

Post # 10
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Sometimes it is a monetary issue. Perhaps your FMIL or BM are concerned about the money they will need to spend on the wedding. People get very touchy about money stuff.

Post # 12
Member
456 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My mom told me yesterday that she HATES weddings.  I reflected on it and what i think she meant was that weddings stress her out (and not just planning them, but going to them, finding a dress, socializing, etc.).  I’m hoping she’ll come around and get into it once my wedding comes around.

And i have a few friends that are like that as well, but for me it’s mostly b/c weddings are a reminder to them that they haven’t settled down yet.  Weddings can make single people feel VERY single.  Best you can do is just be a good friend, and show them that things will not change between you when you get married.  That you won’t turn into that married friend that she doesn’t see anymore. 

And yes, also focus on those people that ARE supportive so you dont go insane 🙂

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