I'm marring a Filipino man and I need HELP with the wedding

posted 3 years ago in South East Asian
Post # 3
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I would tell him to ask his mom STAT what the traditions are if it’s important to him. I feel like if anyone wants something specific at their wedding, it’s up to them to plan it and make sure it gets in there. I know you’re trying to be the good fiance and just plan it all, but there’s no way your FI can expect you to know these traditions without help.

Post # 5
Member
382 posts
Helper bee

My FI’s mom doesn’t really speak English either so I understand what that is like. I would DEFINITELY ask FI to ask his mother to help. If FSIL speaks Filipino or Tagalong or the same language FMIL speaks (I know there are tons of different languages spoken there) I would also consider asking her to act as a translator and get her to ask FMIL to help out. There are a lot of different groups in the Philippines so you want to be sure to do the traditions that are important or representative to them specifically rather than just the country as a whole.

I agree with the previous bee who said the person who wants things incorporated should take the lead but I also know it doesn’t always work out that way. If it were important to FI to have them I would take the lead so the day could be perfect for both of us.

Hope this helps!

 

Post # 6
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Scottish Rite Cathedral (New Castle, PA)

well, I’d definitely have him consult his mom but as a Filipino bride I can tell you what we’re doing. You have the right ceremonies, the order is typically unity ceremony, coin ceremony, veil ceremony than cord ceremony. Filipino weddings tradiationally have what are called “sponsors” which are basically people you’ll look up to and go to for mentors once you’re married, they’re who place the veil and cord on you. We’re just going to use our BM/GM but that’s not traditional. Also, traditionally the sponsors are listed on the wedding invite. If you give me your email I ‘ll share my program with you so you have an idea. 

Post # 7
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I am filipina and most of my family weddings have been very traditional in catholic churches. I am the only one that did not have a ceremony in the church. My husband and I wrote ours. He is not religious so he didn’t want any religious references. Our readings were mostly from poets and literature and philosophers. But he liked the idea of the filipino traditions – veil, cord, coins, and we “adapted” it for our contemporary ceremony. I listed what they meant in the program. As the previous posters said, you usually have a pair of “sponsors” (usually an aunt and uncle, sibling and spouse, etc) come up for each item and they go up one at a time. Since I wanted a short ceremony (filipino ceremonies/mass are LONG!) I just had my two close cousins and his sister come up together as a song played. My two cousins pinned the veil to my husband and I (usually done with small safety pins), then his sister wrapped the cord around us (it’s like a double lasso) and then yet another cousin dropped the 13 coins into my husband’s hands. He then poured the hands in mine. Then I poured it back into his hands , which he gave back to my cousin, as the song finished. Then my cousin briefly said a sentence about each one – veil, cord, coin and its meaning. After our readings and more words from our officiant,  they were called up again to remove everything before we said our vows and did the ring exchange. Hope that helps! (oh, I also ordered some yummy filipino snacks and russian candies – me and my husband’s cultural backgrounds – at our a reception afterparty and everyone loved them!!) 

Post # 8
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Scottish Rite Cathedral (New Castle, PA)

@mandika:  Oh yes! Totally forgot the food part! We’re having lumpia at the cocktail hour and pancit at the reception (amongst other food at both). OP, that’s another great way to incorporate the culture! I definitely agree that Filipino weddings are LONG, ours is definitely going to be longer than the ones I’ve been to for non-filipino friends.

Post # 10
Member
795 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I have nothing relevant to add other than my FI is Filipino. I asked FI if he wanted to incorporate any traditions and he wasn’t interested. Sorry I can’t help! He was born here and forgets most of the time he’s Asian. The only thing he laid claim too (wedding wise) was what food to have at the reception and even that wasn’t Filipinno. He’s getting steak …. 

Post # 13
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Scottish Rite Cathedral (New Castle, PA)

@Akrege:  I made our cord and veil, the coins my mom still had some Filipino coins and we combined them with some of the less common American coins (golden dollars, half dollars, etc). 

Here’s the cord I made for us, it’s just strung beads kind of like a giant rosary: 

I’ve also seen fancy rope used for the cord and you could buy that at a craft store and loop it, just look in their curtain section believe it or not. Our veil I just went to Joann’s and bought tulle and lace and fabric glue and glued the tulle around the edges. I don’t have any pictures though. =/ You could also check with any other Filipino relatives or friends, I know an aunt of mine offered let us borrow the veil from her wedding. If you search specifically for a “Filipino” cord or veil it’s going to be hard to find here and more expensive. 

Post # 14
Member
795 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Akrege: They have some really beautiful traditions – I liked the coin one the most. Oh well. Good luck!

Post # 16
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Akrege:  I’m also marrying a Filipino man. He was born and raised both there (and Saudi Arabia, actually), but his family is no longer Catholic so none of his sisters have had the ceremonies and we aren’t planning to, either. Could it be that he’s not religious and that’s why he’s not sure about the traditions? I definitely thought about incorporating something from his culture, but since they weren’t important to him personally and he didn’t know much about them, we are skipping. So, don’t feel pressured to have these if they aren’t important to the families, I think.

We are having sponsors, though, since he already has ninongs and ninangs and several respected older uncles and aunties that we want to recognize. 

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors