(Closed) I’m new! (Oh, and long distance stinks …)

posted 7 years ago in Military
Post # 3
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I havent posted much on here but I was in your exact same situation. Well almost exact (didn’t know when the proposal was coming or saw the ring before hand). But my husband was stationed in North Carolina and I lived in CA so it was quite a ways away from each other. I can totally sympathize with the distance and not being able to see them as often as we’d like. But all the waiting was so worth it! Plus once I started wedding planning the time just flew by.

For me military life isn’t that hard to get used to. I moved to NC after the wedding and it was so different (the town/area) from where I grew up but I liked having a change and exploring new places. The worst part about military is of course deployments (and we are currently going through a 7 month deployment). But I think that being long distance before hand makes a deployment easier since you’re already used to being apart.

Good luck!

Post # 4
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Welcome!  My husband and I were in an LDR when we first started dating and a year ago he was traveling a lot.  It was a lot harder the recent time because he was busy with work and couldn’t stay up and talk to me like he used to when we first dated.

The thing that really helped me was keeping busy.

Post # 5
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Just wanted to pop in to let you know I am going through a similar situation! My fiance is in the military but I am already engaged since he proposed a few months ago when he graduated from BMT. However, I will not be seeing him until October πŸ™ We plan to get married next summer as well once I gradudate with my degree. It sucks but we have done the long distance thing before and I just try to keep myself busy. I knew my engagement was coming the weekend he did it so I know how excited and anxious you must be!

Post # 7
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center

I am also here if you need support! Mr. D and I have been LDR for about 3 1/2- 4 years of our 7 year relationship. I know the LDR drill very, very well. Plus I also have a brother in the Army and am very close with my SIL so I know the whole kit and kaboodle about military life too. You will find that there is an awesome support system here of ladies who are currently in the same place as you are, and ladies who have already been through and past what you currently experiencing! I agree….LDR’s suck! Welcome to the hive!

Post # 8
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@thetraceface:  Welcome!!  I am a military wife AND a teacher too!  How awesome! πŸ™‚

That’s exciting that you know about the proposal and know what’s going to happen — that’ll make it fun trying to guess how he’ll do it!

What branch is he serving in?  My hubs is Navy, and is in basic training right now.  I can’t wait until after basic because then he’ll be at a base close by for his additional training.  So, we won’t be living together again for another year too, but it’ll be so worth it in the end, i think.

Post # 9
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Welcome! I am a soon to be military wife and a new bee as well. My fiance is  based in Ca while I am back in NJ planning our NYE wedding and preparing for my move to the West Coast. It’s been 3 months since I’ve seen him and most likely won’t see him again until the weeks before our wedding. Its def hard but I honestly believe it will  build up the anticipation before the wedding that much more.

You’re not whining, you’re being real. Being in a relationship with a service member is trying. You often have to be more about your honey than yourself. The way I see it is if your honey truly loves you and chooses to serve. That helps you realize how much their service means to them that they would be willing to be apart from their family and loved ones, and I have alot of respect for all the men and women who make that hard decision. Best of luck to you and congratulations on your soon to come engagement. Enjoy every second of it.

Post # 11
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

Planning my wedding is a GREAT way to make the time my FI is deployed go by faster!

Plus I am doing stuff that I never got around to while he is home.

IE: working out faithfully and getting my drivers licence. πŸ˜‰

Post # 12
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

FH is a Marine Corps officer. After 4 deployments my official opinion is that it sucks! His first 2 weren’t that bad because I was in school but the 3rd was the worst. He was gone 11 months and we had little to no contact due to his location/job. It was awful. What made it worse is that his first two times he let me know what was going on, things that happened, etc. so my imagination was getting the best of me the 3rd go round and I would start to get angry at him for choosing that life but advice I can offer is stay active…something I didn’t do. I would sit and be mopey and complain which is stupid. This last time I’ve made up a list of things to do while he is away and I like to pretend that he’s simply on a business trip πŸ™‚

Post # 13
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am engaged and my fiance lives across the country as well. We went though a 10 month deployment while we were engaged. I finished college in may, we are getting married in september and I am moving out to tennessee to be with him. Yes deployments are the toughest part.  Wedding plannning is a great way to keep busy. My advice for long distance is Skype and to write things down that you want to tell him when he is out training for a few days, I would get so excited to hear from my fiance when he would call from afghanistan that I would forget to update him on things back here in the states, like friends family etc. So i started making a list and it helped a lot.

Post # 14
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@thetraceface:  I was in the same boat as you the first 2 1/2 years of our relationship.  It’s tough, but it can be done.  I guess the best advice is to develop as much of a routine as you can.  Even though DH and I lived 800 miles apart, we still had date nights.  Sometimes it was watching a movie together (playing the same movie on in the DVD player while on Skype) or sometimes we would find the same movie playing at the same time in local theaters and watch them at the same time.  One hilarious night we cooked the same meal at the same time while skyping…it was hilarious.  I was teaching DH to cook through the internet.  Basically, you just have to be creative to keep things happy, because it is hard.

 

Post # 15
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

Oh and something new we’ve been doing is I opened up a Youtube account and gave him access info.

We take videos and upload them for each other on our ‘channel’.  We just make sure to click the ‘private’ option.  We do everything from me showing him how the garden is growing to how well I mowed the lawn and he does stuff like shows me his room where sleeps and how he sets stuff up, or the cats that are living on the property.  We also do other more Xrated stuff too. Its nice because you can go back and watch them any time you want, and they are more of a keepsake than say, Skype.  ETA: unlike mailing a usb or disc with the video which takes weeks, this is pretty much instantaneous.

I don’t know if you’ve ever loaded a vid to Youtube but it wasn’t hard at all and although, uploading the video takes a little while, the results are worth it πŸ™‚

Also, I joined a support group on FB that is for Canadian Forces spouses. It’s a wealth of info and all from gals (and a few guys) who you can talk till your hearts content about how your feeling.  I know there are lots of US ones available too πŸ™‚

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