(Closed) I’m not an encore, but am curious

posted 6 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I was 100% sure I was marrying the right man AT THE TIME.  I realize now that we were just really good friends who got married, but at the time, I would have bet my life on our marriage lasting.   Things happen for a reason I suppose.   I have more than I ever dreamed possible in a mate now, and I can’t imagine my life without him in it. 🙂


Post # 5
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I was totally sure that I was marrying the right man.  I was scared of my marriage failing, but didn’t see that as a reason to not go through with it, if that makes sense.

I married young and outgrew him- when he refused to grow with me, it was time to go.   

Post # 6
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i probably should have seen it since the first clue was rehearsal dinner where his family only came and didnt even invite my parents… my friends should have also spoke up and stop the wedding like they wanted to but none did…  this time i know for sure my fiance is who i want to spend the rest of my life with

Post # 7
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I definitly thought my first marriage would last.My ex-husband was my best friend and I thought we were happy.I believe its because we married to young and had two babies soon after.He was in the military.I think it was all just too much for him.I am a better person because of it,and am so different than the girl “playing house” that I was at 21.

Post # 8
7349 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

No, I did not have those thoughts before hand.  I was sure the ex was the right one.  And we were married (relatively happily) for 8 years before it fell apart.  I’m sure some people feel that way though.

Post # 9
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I had bad dreams beforehand. . like I was at the wedding and crying because I didn’t want to get married.  But I didn’t have any bad feelings in my “waking life” lol

until. .  .

two days after the wedding.  I knew without a doubt that I’d made a horrible mistake.  The marriage lasted 12 years – I didn’t give up. . . but it wasn’t meant to be.    We brought out the absolute worst in each other.

Post # 10
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I was 100% deluded into thinking I had a fairytale…I was 6 months pregnant and 20 years old–ahhh the naivete of youth! LOL

Took me 20 years to extract myself from that disaster.

This time, I couldn’t be more sure–in the best possible, thought-it-out, mature and eyes wide open sense!

Post # 11
3452 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I had doubts, but I felt like it was what I had to do at the time.  It’s so much different this time.

Post # 12
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I had so many doubts while planning my wedding to my ex-husband. The night before, I begged him to postpone the wedding or at the very least we could go through w/ the ceremony (it was a destination wedding) and not  sign the legal stuff (do that later). My ex did a lot of gas lighting. when I had doubts, he’d say that it was cold feet or that I had depression and needed antidepressants. In my relationships w/ my partner I have no doubts about being w/ him for the rest of my life. Everything is different w/ my partner. Absolutely no wedding dbouts this time.

Post # 13
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I had what I see now as doubts but I didn’t recognize it at the time. Hindsight is 20/20! There were so many red flags there but I didn’t even notice them (or closed my eyes to them) and learned very quickly that I had made a HUGE mistake. However because of my beliefs I tried to make it work and it didn’t end until 17+years and 3 children later. It hasn’t been easy but now I am with an amazing man who loves my children like his own (he doesn’t have any and it’s his first marriage).

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…that’s how I see it!

Post # 14
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I had my doubts, and he knew it too. But i did it anyway. Why? because I thought everyone flet that way and had doubts. NOPE. If you have any little tiny amount of doubt don’t do it. This time around, 100% excited, happy, without a doubt love of my life! It’s like night and day. I was young, we had been together for awhile, and it just seemed like the thing to do, stupid huh?

Post # 15
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I should have seen it coming. It was little things I was trying to ignore that turned into the huge problem later on when we got married. I had just turned 18 and ran off to Utah (he moved up there because of the oil field jobs) to marry him. We had only been dating for 6 months. He turned out to be abusive and on drugs. I left him before our 2 yr anniversary. We have a daughter together. She does not see her father. He does not try to make an effort to see her or pay his child support. My Fiance, however, is completely different. We have been together almost 4 and a half yrs. He’s the sweetest most patient and understanding guy I could have found. He completes the missing pieces to my puzzle. He is a great father. My daughter knows him as her only dad. When he said he would still be there for her regardless if we were together or not, I think that was the moment I started thinking about being with him for the rest of my life. I honestly did not want to marry again because I was afraid I wouldn’t know my husband like last time. But I am very confident this is the one. He has helped me over come so much, both me and my daughter. We now have 2 more children 🙂 And can’t wait to get married.

Post # 16
94 posts
Worker bee

I didn’t think my marriage would fail…I just settled, I def had doubts, but like everyone else, I thought it was normal. I tried to convince myself I was happy last time, I had a string of horrific relationships and honestly thought that “ok” was the best I could hope for…I know, it sounds sad. We eloped at a courthouse quickly for insurance reasons (we had been dating for less than a year, really dumb, I know) then had a big wedding later. I really regret not having a longer engagement because I know we wouldn’t have gotten married if we had been engaged for 12 months. The second ceremony was awful, I remember crying the night before, and the night of, and wishing I could call the whole thing off (he had thrown a shoe at my head at the bar after the rehersal dinner, yes, my ex is a class act), but I couldn’t because I was already married. It was terrifying to admit that my marriage wasn’t right.

That being said I feel completely different this time around! I am a much stronger person, and I have refused to settle for anything less than happy. My Fiance supports me, compliments me, and treasures me like I never thought possible. Where I had to force myself to be happy and look forward to things before, I am elated now. I realize that this is how people are actually supposed to feel when they are getting married.

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