(Closed) I'm not even given 2 weeks?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

i would be a little annoyed. but just be happy for them. im sure they were/are happy for you and fi. maybe your engagment was a push for him.. like he has to one up..

 

congrats btw!

Post # 4
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ha, your engagement is probably what’s triggering their engagement!

I think it’s fine to be a little annoyed, especially if you and FBIL’s FI don’t want to be borrowing/stealing wedding ideas from each other. But, I wouldn’t take it any further than that. Just be happy for them. It’s not worth losing sleep over.

Congrats on your engagement!

Post # 5
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Congrats!

It’s really not worth being upset over. Their getting engaged doesn’t make it any less exciting that you are your FI are engaged, and it definitely shouldn’t take away from your happiness over your own upcoming wedding! I can see why the timing would be annoying, but you don’t have “dibs” on being the only bride to be right now, so focus on being excited for FBIL and his SO!

(Besides, now you’ll have another bride to talk wedding details with!)

Post # 6
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I do agree with PP that engagements trigger other relationship moments. Within a month of our engagement: 1) FI’s business partner decided to buy a house with his GF; 2) another friend of ours bought a promise ring for his on-again, off-again GF; 3) a third friend started ring shopping. It’s an epidemic, just think of it as wedding fun for everyone!

I think you’re normal for not wanting to share the spotlight, but these will be your in-laws and you’ll be dealing with them for the rest of your life, so do your best to be happy for them. And maybe make a point to spend some extra time with the people in your life who don’t know this couple and who can focus on being happy just for you? That way you still get to enjoy the excitement of being newly engaged.

Post # 8
Member
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My fiances brother did the same thing! BUT his cousin did it even sooner! It was crazy and I was upset but I am over it now! 

Post # 9
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My best friend was OBSESSED with getting a proposal as soon as I was proposed to and she only had to wait a few months for it. I gotta admit that it’s been kinda cool to plan our weddings together, actually.  🙂

Post # 10
Member
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just think about how hard it is to be a waiting bee when others are engaged, I’m sure she feels the same. I think it would be fun, you two can plan together and maybe it will help a bit.

Post # 11
Member
1308 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I might be a little upset at first, but then I would wonder how long he has been planning on proposing? If she has been hounding him for a year, maybe he was already planning it and YOUR FI jumped ahead of them?

 

Just a little Devil’s Advocate teehee

Post # 12
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@LovelyLaura:  That’s what happened with us. We were in the middle of deciding on a ring when FI’s sister got engaged. We waited another few months after that. Then FI’s brother got engaged a little over a month after us to a girl we hadn’t met yet, and I’m actually really excited about FI and his siblings all being engaged at once and getting to meet someone new who will be my SIL!

Post # 13
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I was engaged a total of 9 days before my FSIL got engaged after being with her BF for only two months! As you can imagine, I was upset (there were major concerns about the quick engagement and intnetions of her BF)  Ironically, she didn’t tell me or my FI as not to hurt our feelings but they were hurt even more since she intentionally kept the engagement secret from ONLY me and my FI and we had to attend an engagement dinner to celebrate their upcoming nuptuals the next day. It has taken me a while to come to terms with this and I wish that I could have realized at the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter.  

Here is my advice to you: Enjoy every minute of your engagement and don’t let other people make you feel bad. People can sometimes be thoughless and not think how they are affecting other people but at the same time, we can have blinders on when we make our own deciscions. They are probably just as excited as you are about your wedding. If they intend to out do your wedding, let it be so. You should just focus on what you and your FI want on your special day, not trying to anticipate what someone else is planning.

At the end of the day, you are marrying your Prince Charming and that’s all that matters. Don’t let this take away from your special day. 

Post # 14
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

This is funny to me cause I had a similar issue but with multiple friends. My FI proposed and then the next three weeks three couple who are friends also got engaged… We used to joke that the guys saw my FI do it and they thought if HE can do it I can too! lol we just took credit for everyone else’shappiness for a while! 😉 

Also what is funny about this, the other three couple will all have had their weddings bY the time we have ours! 

Post # 15
Member
1274 posts
Bumble bee

Congrats! It is a bit frustrating, yours was probably the push FI’s bro needed. Everyone will still be happy for you guys too. 

My FI had the ring and told his family he was going to propose on New Year’s Eve months before it happened. He talked to his brother about a month before and mentioned it again. His brother said, “Oh yeah, I guess I should think about getting a ring at some point too.” 

His brother proposed like a week and a half BEFORE. I couldn’t understand for the life of me why my (then) boyfriend was so upset around Christmas time. He still took me by surprise on NYE and proposed. He was just ticked for a couple days because his brother knew and did it anyway…I don’t think it took anything away from them or from us. Everyone was still really excited for both of us. 

Post # 16
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yeah, I would be annoyed.  When I got engaged, the celebration went on for WEEKS!!!  I’ve never had so many people buy me a drink before.  We’re still going out for champagne with some friends soon, and it’s been a couple months.

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