(Closed) Im not exactly sure how to explain what happened.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am so sorry that this happened to you.  Lean on your friends and family during this time.  Hang in there…

Post # 4
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m so sorry. This seems like a really harsh reaction to something that, at least from your description, sounded really tame.  I wonder if maybe the conversation of getting married scared him a bit. What was your argument/discussion about. Could something have just triggered a nerve with him?

Again I’m very sorry that you are going through this. I hope that he will at least come to a point where he is willing to explain himself.

Post # 5
Member
1934 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Stardust – oh my gosh, i’m so sorry!  i don’t really know what to say, cept, hang in there girl!  if i were you, i would try and focus on other things, and hope that he at least has the decency to come back and talk to you about things!  i assume since you said “overnight bag” that you two live together?  i mean, won’t he have to come back at some point to get his other things?  i mean, he can’t just leave it like that! 

are you close with any of his family members or friends?  is there anyone you can contact to see what happened or where he is?

i’m sorry i don’t really have better advice, but we’re here for you!

Post # 6
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

I’m sorry this has happened to you!! It must be heartbreaking, especially being so sudden.

Obviously there was more going on underneath than what you were able to see. I also have to say that I don’t think your guy is handling whatever issue he has very maturely.

So, stop trying to contact him, go on with your business and life and wait for him to make a move. He will come back to you to either finalize the breakup, or he will come back to patch things up. Either way, ball is in his court and you have to wait for him to serve.

Feel free to say you don’t understand, you don’t have the answers. He just…walked out and doesn’t have the decency to tell you why.

I hope you deal with this ok. Breakups are horrible and I’m sorry you everything just shattered.

Post # 7
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

that’s really awful. how long were you together? maybe he can be coaxed into couples counceling? I’m so sorry this happened.

Post # 9
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

YOU’LL BE ALRIGHT! You seem like a VERY strong girl. Sometimes the constant reminder of your future will push the guy you want to marry even further away. If this happens (and he doesn’t come back to you) than he is NOT the right guy.

My ex was like this with me. I gave him “everything” and thought I would be with him forever. The more I pushed about marriage and moving in together, (even though I thought he was on the same page )the further he got from me…until he ended up cheating on me with another girl who he later married. I didn’t find that out until after we broke up randomly. NoBODY saw it coming…but I knew that if he didn’t fight for me…he wasn’t the RIGHT one & did not talk to him again.

All I can say is that you did not do anything wrong. The right guy, the strong man you want to marry, will fight for you and not leave. If the going gets tough and he leaves, who knows when he will leave in the future.  He may get over this and come back… and if he does, you should sit down and have a real conversation with him about leaving and how much that hurt you. Get his promise that he won’t run again.

Hugs. Im sorry dear. Keep your chin up, you’re a BEAUTIFUL and warm-hearted woman.

Post # 10
Member
1934 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

stardust – whoops! in that case, i would wait for him to come to you.  if you feel like you would be embarassed demanding answers, than don’t do it!  wait for him, and if he doesn’t come to you, then you have your answer…and he would have proven what a jerk he is!  you deserve better than that, and a more mature individual.  hugs!

Post # 11
Member
2608 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Go get your answers!  I let my last ex just disappear from my life like that, thinking it was the more dignified thing to do, and I regret it to this day.  How DARE he leave without a single word of explanation to you?  You don’t have to go over there and make it a marathon crying session, but you DESERVE a reply and you should DEMAND one.  F him.  Srsly.

Post # 13
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

YOU ARE WISE GIRL! 🙂 If you need anything, let us know!

Post # 14
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@stardustintheeyes: Some men just need to be alone to cool down and think things over and just get more upset when they feel pressured to just let it go. I’m not saying that you should accept his behavior and maybe he should have stayed and talked it out, but he realized that he needed to remove himself from the situation before he said or did anything rash.

I wouldn’t force him to talk or give him any more ultimatiums. Maybe just send him a message telling him that while you don’t understand why he is needing space right now, you respect it and want to talk whenever he has a clear head.

Post # 15
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

*hugs*

That hurt is probably going to take awhile. More than usually because of the shock that is involved as well.

Feel free to ask for support here.

In good news, you have a good excuse for the post relationship makeover. All though, it doesn’t look like you need it judging from your avatar picture. 😉

 

Post # 16
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

@Miss Tattoo: Totally agree. If you really want to be with him, email or leave a message telling him how you feel, but give him space to decide. Whatever happens will be for the best. 🙂

The topic ‘Im not exactly sure how to explain what happened.’ is closed to new replies.

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