I’m not getting a bridal shower or bachelorette party

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I would be disappointed as well.  I am sorry.  That does suck.  I would invite everyone out to dinner and say something like “In lieu of us all getting together for a bachelorette party- maybe we can all go out and for dinner and drinks?”  That way that might make them think- oh crap- we didn’t throw a bachelorette party.

Post # 4
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t know… I think I would say something. I don’t know how I brought it up with my MOH but I definitely think you should express interest in having one. They might not realize it’s important to you!

Post # 5
Member
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Aww I’m sorry! I would feel bummed too. Have they even asked you about it? Is there any chance they’re planning a surprise shower and/ or bachelorette?

Post # 6
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m sorry no one has thrown you one. What about your mom? I think it would be ok for you to tell her or a close aunt that you want a bridal shower.

As for the bachelorette party, maybe you could plan a girls night out and then maybe they’ll get the hint that they should turn it into a bachelorette party.

Post # 7
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think I would say something to someone.  Do you have any sisters or aunts?  How many BMs do you have?  If this is a first wedding for you, then I think I would say something to someone in hopes that they’d pull something together.

Is it possible they’re planning a surprise shower or bachelorette party?  I know some people do those (although I would actually hate it … I hate surprises).

Post # 8
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If you really would one I think you should mention it to you moh

Post # 9
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Your bridesmaids are horrible!  Who doesn’t throw their friend a shower OR bachelorette party?!  I’m not sure if they’re cheap, lazy, jealous, or all of the above, but they should be ashamed of themselves.  I would suggest telling your maid of honor (who should be initiating all this discussion) that genearlly (or ALWAYS, but we’ll be nice) bridesmaids throw at least a shower and bachelorette party, since that’s part of their duties.  Ask if she’s planning to do anything like this, because you’d really enjoy it.  Tell her you’re not expecting anything big or fancy, but you’d like to have an opportunity to at least have some people get together.  If she says “no,” I would a) reevaluate your friendship with her, b) try the conversation again with another bridesmaid.  Maybe one in the bunch will wake up and realize this is something you want and they should be doing for you.  Telling each one you’d like it might solve a lot.  Perhaps they all truly believe you don’t want one, or perhaps one of them has convinced all the others you don’t want one so they’re just following her lead.  OR, best case scenario is that they are trying to surprise you.  If all say they have no interest in throwing you either, I would reach out to another girlfriend and explain the situation.  Or, your mom.  I know moms are not supposed to throw the shower because of etiquette, but she might be able to plan it discreetly or have one of her friends “host”.  I’m so sorry!

Post # 10
Member
5755 posts
Bee Keeper

Have any of them ever been in a wedding before or don’t they really know what to do? Unless it’s a surprise, I’m wondering why nothing has been planned.

Post # 11
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

Most of the bridal showers I have been to have been hosted by the mother or MIL or some family member. I don’t understand why “ettiqutte” says they shouldn’t I think its stupid. If you want one say something. I think it stinks that they wouldn’t throw you a bachelorette party but maybe they are and you just don’t know about it.

Post # 12
Member
825 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@MrsTrigger:I agree with you…how could they not know, thats just odd. I’s say something to my mom about shower.

Post # 14
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If your sister is your MOH (and she’s young), it’s possible everyone else is just assuming everyone else will take care of it.  Do you have any other BMs?  I would be talking to them first, and then dropping hints to your other friends.  Typically showers aren’t held by random friends (at least the ones I’ve been to) – it’s always people in the bridal party or family (sisters, aunts, etc.)

Post # 15
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

It ‘might’ be a surprise or else, I think you should bring it up with your friends. See what they say. The circle I run with don’t do surprises BUT when I went to visit my mum and sister, they threw me a surprise shower. I was so stoked because I never expected it. Maybe that’s what your friends are doing. If not, just casually mention it to them. It doens’t have to be big or anything, just a small get together for all of you to have fun.

Post # 16
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I would be upset too. I had a shower and a bachelorette party, but my bachelorette was a surprise trip with only my bridesmaids (sister and SIL). I was the first of my friends to get married and we all used to talk about how fun it would be to have the first bachelorette party of the group. I complained about this to another friend, and she ended up telling my other friends and throwing me a party. It was very sweet of her, but it just wasn’t the same b/c I had to ask for it.

I don’t think it could hurt to hint though.

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