(Closed) I’m not getting her a gift…and you can’t make me!!!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1353 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

They probably just invited all the women who were invited to the wedding…

Post # 4
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I have local friends who didn’t come and didn’t gift to mine. Not that I minded, I just bring it up as an agreement with your sentiment. A gift is not obligated for an invitation.

This is also why I left most OOT people off the list when my BMs requested one. I didn’t think it was fair to ask those people to make the trek. Some family chose to come from out of state, and that was awesome of them.

Post # 6
Member
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

What’s the difference if it’s printed right on the invite or if an insert is in the card? I only ask because I listed it right on my invite and have received many invites this way. I registered at Kohl’s and they would only give me 30 inserts so instead of trying to copy them it was easier just to list it on the invite and get rid of the insert all together.

But to your real question I wouldn’t buy her a gift either. I am sure she just invited you to be nice, and knew that you really wouldn’t travel that far just for a wedding shower.

Post # 7
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I understand not giving her a gift, since you guys aren’t very close. However, I don’t think it’s a big deal that she printed her registry info on the bridal shower invitation. Getting gifts is the point of a shower. I would only be offended if someone wrote it on a wedding invitation.

Post # 8
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@PinkFlemingo:  The shower is not just for the bride-it’s gifts to help the couple start their life. If it’s all big ticket items (and I dont consider $50 to be a big ticket item), the groom is just as much at fault.

Post # 10
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

I thought it was expected that the shower invite had the registry info on it….I thought it was just the wedding invitation that people were still fussy about.

I guess a bride can’t win! You register for only what you need, you’re too expensive, you register for cheaper stuff that you don’t need just to give a price range, the item never gets used and the giver’s gift is wasted. You don’t register at all, people assume you want cash, which is rude!

FWIW, if I wanted to give a gift, but everything were out of my price range, I would simply give them a gift card to that store. We had several people do that for us, and it was great! We got to apply them toward bigger-ticket items.

Post # 11
Member
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m sure it’s fine to not get her a gift, I certainly wouldn’t expect one. 

As for printing the registry information on the shower invite, I’m also under the impression that that’s ok etiquette-wise, as it’s not you sending the invitation but someone throwing the shower for you. I bet my MOHs print it directly on there as well. Hope no one is offended!

Post # 12
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@PinkFlemingo:  Food for thought for your mom and sis, just because she has $100 gifts on her registry doesn’t mean they have to get them. They could joint gift one item, or do gift cards to the store. I received both at my shower. Or they could get her something different, but still useful, like a restaurant gift card. I got some of those too, and actually really appreciated them because FI and I don’t go out much anymore in order to save money.

Post # 13
Member
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@atalante:  Totally agree with this. Sometimes all that’s left is really big ticket items.

Also, sometimes people register for those expensive items not because they expect people to buy them but because they want the completion discount.

Post # 14
Member
8153 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Chances are someone else is throwing the shower and the bride had no input on the wording for the invitation. Either way, I think it’s fine to include registry info for a bridal shower. I’d probably just send a nice card and a gift card to the store her registry is from.

Post # 15
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I wouldn’t send one, either.  Also, I didn’t invite OOT guests to my shower because I didn’t want them to feel obligated to send me anything.

The topic ‘I’m not getting her a gift…and you can’t make me!!!’ is closed to new replies.

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