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I'm NOT in love with my engagement ring setting :(

posted 3 years ago in Rings
  •  
    1.
    Member
    194 posts
    Blushing bee
    anniebear    August 15, 2010   Toronto, ON

     

    Hi ladies,

    I'm so sorry to be a whiner, but I am not loving my engagement ring setting. I was absolutely swept off my feet by the 1.3 carat, E grade, VVS1 cut diamond.... but I just cringe when I look at the setting.

    Let's see if I can describe it, it's white gold, four prong, and it looks like it was cheaply melted on to the ring base. You can see the imperfect seams!! 

    The problem is, I just noticed this now. When I got engaged last month, I was so excited and told my fiance that I loved it. How can I tell him I want to pay to change the setting?? Or, should I just grin and bear it and appreciate the fact that it was chosen by him? I feel awful about this. Please don't judge or be mad at me :(

     
    2.
    Member
    1,448 posts
    Bumble bee
    EAQ219    May 22, 2010   Bethesda, MD

    HOW DARE YOU! Haha completely kidding! Maybe do something like this: in front of him start admiring your ring (I do this all the time) and talk about how you just love it so much. Then (gasp!) exclaim that you can see one of the seams. Ask him if he sees it too. See what he thinks should be done. It will probably bother him that he got you an "imperfect" ring and hopefully he will suggest taking it to the store to see if it can be fixed. If you pretend like you just discovered it in front of him it might be better than letting him know that you've been thinking about it for a while. Not that I'm advocating lying or anything...I'm NOT in love with my engagement ring setting :( :  wedding engagement ring Icon Wink Good luck!

     
    3.
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    2,252 posts
    Buzzing bee
    chelseamorning    November 1, 2008   Washington, DC/Atlanta

    Do you dislike the idea of the setting or its poor execution? if it's just a manner of execution, that would be easy enough to explain...tell him the truth. In your excitement you didn't look closely at first, but you were taking a closer look at it the other day and you saw some imperfections that are really bothering you. If you bought it from a jeweler, they should be able to fix it for you. Otherwise, maybe you could find a way for a jeweler to use the same metal to remake the prong setting properly.

    Be sure to ask your fiance's opinion on what you should do so he doesn't feel like you don't love your ring (or trust his taste). Empowering him to help you fix it will help if his ego gets hurt by your bringing it up.  Good luck!

    Attachments

    1. I'm NOT in love with my engagement ring setting :( :  wedding engagement ring Img black_covers.jpg (53.1 KB, 55 downloads) 2 years old
     
    4.
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    Busy bee
    beesknees    04.19.08   Florida

    hehe- I totally agree with EAQ219.

    Actually I did something sort of like it, when I noticed a few imperfections in my band.  I didn't want to seem nit picky, but I also wanted something perfect.  

     
    5.
    Member
    2,168 posts
    Buzzing bee
    cannotwait    February 1, 2009   TX

    the metal is much easier to fix than the diamond quality, so I would try to get it fixed.  I would either "act surprised" (as suggested above) or just go to the store & get it fixed myself, no biggie.

    Attachments

    1. I'm NOT in love with my engagement ring setting :( :  wedding engagement ring Img DSC02953.JPG (110.8 KB, 61 downloads) 2 years old
     
    6.
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    1,224 posts
    Bumble bee
    driftslikesmoke    January 2, 2010   Atlanta, GA

    If he splurged so much on such a beautiful diamond, your fiancee might not have had the money to get a perfect setting at the same time. Since you say you're willing to pay for it to be fixed yourself, and you don't seem to want to make any changes to the APPEARANCE of the ring, just the quality, I'd say just go and get it done yourself (at a reputable jeweler, preferably the same one where he bought the ring). There's no need to make him feel like something that he so clearly tried to make perfect for you didn't quite hit the mark, right? It's the thought that counts, and I'm guessing he thought that the diamond mattered more to you. :)

    Just have it repaired, and if you do say anything to him about it, just make it clear that you wanted all of the ring to be as flawless as the incredible diamond he chose for you. :) 

     
    7.
    Member
    80 posts
    Worker bee
    lagizzle    10/24/09   DFW

    yeah i agree with everyone else - when i got my ring the stone was slightly loose and i freaked out - i told him and he was concerned. if you make it an issue of quality assurance i'm sure he will be agreeable to you getting it repaired or changed. if it is just a plain setting then aren't alot of them just preliminary ones for you to then choose the setting you like? i have heard of that before also. You should not get it fixed behind his back though, he may be able to take it to the place he got it and they will fix it for him for free. good luck!

     
    8.
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    72 posts
    Worker bee
    andriab    07/25/09   Alabama

    I think I would approach it from the standpoint that a six prong setting would be more secure than a four prong setting (as I have been told by my insurance person and my jeweler). 1.3 c has a large enough footprint that you can use that as a reason to have it reset. That way if one of the prongs gets bent you don't have to worry about losing the stone.

    Good luck!

     
    9.
    Member
    482 posts
    Helper bee
    V      

    Whatever you do...DON'T go behind his back. Don't get it fixed on your own and pretend everything is fine...he might have noticed the crack too..or once the jeweler is done with it..it might look slightly different.

    I would let him find the crack on his own...or ask his advice on what to do like most have said.

    If it's the setting you don't like....(you wanted a halo or such..) Talk to him directly. A four prong for that big a diamond might be a little on the unsafe side.

    Good luck!

    Attachments

    1. I'm NOT in love with my engagement ring setting :( :  wedding engagement ring Img minitulleveil3.jpg (52.6 KB, 88 downloads) 2 years old
    2. I'm NOT in love with my engagement ring setting :( :  wedding engagement ring Img minitullveil.jpg (50 KB, 18 downloads) 2 years old
    3. I'm NOT in love with my engagement ring setting :( :  wedding engagement ring Img honeycomb2.jpg (49.3 KB, 44 downloads) 2 years old
    4. I'm NOT in love with my engagement ring setting :( :  wedding engagement ring Img honeycomb2.jpg (49.3 KB, 37 downloads) 2 years old
    5. I'm NOT in love with my engagement ring setting :( :  wedding engagement ring Img honeycomb3.jpg (77.1 KB, 29 downloads) 2 years old
    6. I'm NOT in love with my engagement ring setting :( :  wedding engagement ring Img honeycomb1.jpg (57.2 KB, 41 downloads) 2 years old
     

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