- 3 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
So, I have some medical issues, and dealing with one of them has put me on a special schedule for birth control for menstural suppression as a treatment (which basically means I have as few periods as possible). Well, my body went hay-wire and freaked out on me, while still on the meds my period started, so I discontinuted the meds (which I’m supposed to do when I get a cycle) and a day later my period stopped… so I started up on the meds again… Then, the next day, my cycle started again, so I stopped the meds again. It got super light the next day, like it was going to stop again, but I figured I didn’t want to spend a month yo-yoing on and off the meds, so I decided I would stay off of them until my next cycle comes around and just handle the pain involved (I have pain meds from my dr for just this kind of scenario) Anyway, that first cycle was somewhat light and with minimal pain which was a nice change.
Then, 5 weeks later (I’m still off birth control at this point), I started to worry a little that I was late… mind you, I had NO reason to believe I was pregnant. DH and I are NOT TTC (we are barely at the “talking about talking about it stage”) and we use condoms EVERY time in addition to my hormonal BC.
By week 6, I was wondering if I’d messed up my hormones super bad, of if it was possible that I was that 1 in 1,000,000,000,000,000 chance that I had managed to get pregnant while on hormonal birth control, while using condoms, and having a medical condition that makes it hard to concieve (I know, long shot to say the least)!
Again, DH and I aren’t ready for kids… and especially DH wont be for a good long while, but I have to admit that when my period started I was sad. I don’t even think that I wanted to BE pregnant, but when I couldn’t help but think there was that 1 in a bazillion chance…
Anyway, sorry, I realize this is mostly a rant about absolutely nothing, but I can’t really talk to DH about it because if he realized that I thought there was even that remote of a chance for a split second he would freak out (not in a bad way, just in a scared “wants to be absitnant for a month” kind of way) so I figured I would vent here.
Anyone else ever feel melancholy about not being pregnant when you weren’t trying to be?