(Closed) I'm not responsible for your shortcomings.

posted 2 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
6649 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Your post is a little hard to follow but it sounds like your sister is being a bit of jerk about the fact that she got into Ivy League schools while you didn’t. But she may also feel like you are trying to rain on her parade by suggesting she not go to any of them, especially if she knows in the back of her mind that she can’t afford to go to any of them – it would make the acceptance very bittersweet.

My guess is the reason you don’t feel happy for her is jealousy. Try to let it go. Don’t view which colleges you both got into as a competition. She accomplished a great thing. It should be celebrated. Better to join in and be happy for her than be resentful and bitter.

Post # 3
Member
2137 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

My sister went to an Ivy League College as one of only a handful of students accepted that year from my country. I went to a locally university.

I was unbelievably thrilled for her when she got her scholarship. 

She is smarter than me and genuinely the most hardworking person I know, while I have a tendency to slack.

I’ve always excelled at sports where she cried by being picked last all the time. We never held that against each other. 

I find your weird, jealous comments about her instead going to your uni just as rude as her replies. Who started this? 

Be happy for each other. 

Guess what? Years after graduating my sister and I both have great careers and are equally happy. And more importantly we didn’t ruin our relationship over school… 

Post # 5
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee

bakedrose :  Sorry bee, you do sound jealous.  I’m not surprised your sister scoffed at your comment.  

“Oh you got into an Ivy League school?  You prob shouldn’t go”- that is the opposite of proud and supportive.

 

ETA: I’m confused a little by your update, but it sounds like she was making some annoying comments that she thought were funny jokes?  You should’ve told her they bothered you instead of suggesting that she shouldn’t follow her dreams.  If she felt like she was joking, she probably doesn’t know why you’d want to downplay her success.

Post # 6
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee

I’m a simple person and you can’t compare me to the legends that roam the grounds of ASU

Wow, that’s  a very harsh statement, that has got to hurt your feelings. She should not have said that.

It’s obviously a proud moment for your parents and for your sister , but there was no need for her to throw that comment in your face.

Post # 7
Member
9 posts
Newbee

megrays :  Maybe her sister is just excited to have gotten into ivy league. I know some of my friends acted like total jerks when they got some of these universities.

These are very selective schools, so it’s understandable why she’s acting so jubilant.

Post # 8
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

What a spoilt little jerk, I don’t believe that getting into a top school like Stanford or Duke should be the singular goal of high school students.

Post # 9
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

The problem is you, not your sister. It’s clear that you’re jealous of your kid sister and forgive me for being blunt, you can’t possible compare and ivy league college which has acceptance rate of less than 10% to ASU which has a staggering 83% acceptance rate.

Her attitude does seem a bit condescending, but you just have to accept that you’re the black sheep of the family.

You should be proud that your sister got in such a great school not rant about it.

Grow the F up.

Post # 10
Member
2137 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

bakedrose :  Ok I get that, but have you thought about what comments or vibes (intentional or not) you’ve been throwing out?

It still seems very odd you are encouraging her not to go …”because money?” … or so that she could go to the same uni as you.

I mean it’s not a pajama party, she has to make a serious life decision for her own future not just be guilted into hanging out with you.

Even the fact you mention your parents are more proud reeks of insecurity. 

Post # 11
Member
2137 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Oh and you know a simple convo could go a long way. . . 

“Hey sis, you know I am super proud of you and can’t wait to come visit, but some of those jokes are making me feel a bit stink about my uni. Can we just cool it for a bit?”

Post # 12
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I agree with innerdonought, I would like to think that we all know at least one person who has gone to a ivy league and we know how hard it is to get into those schools. 

So, just be supportive and tolerate her behaviour for a little while because I know it’s not uncommon for people to act out of norm when such things happen.

Post # 13
Member
304 posts
Helper bee

I think it’s normal to feel a little bit of jealousy and it doesn’t help when someone keeps poking at you, but just try to be nice. A lot of times when People act like that there is a reason. Maybe this is the only thing she feels like she has ever been able to accomplish. It seems to me she may have a lot of other insecurities and she is acting out on them. 

Post # 14
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee

I think she should have asked you for your permission to go to such a prestigious school.

Post # 15
Member
2077 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - Outside in Paris

The networking at an Ivy League school is probably worth the extra expense…

I think you both are being childish. 

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