Post # 1
This past weekend I went with my SO and his family to SOs brothers engagement party. It was being thrown at SOs brothers fiances aunts house (a mouthful, I know) which is about 3-4 hours away from where we live. So we get there, and we walk into the house and the introductions begin, right? When SOs father gets to me, he says, “This is BubbleTea, ____’s… girlfriend, I guess.”
He actually hesitated before telling them I was their other sons girlfriend, and then he added “I guess” to the end.
I brushed it off and then on the way home that evening (SO and I drove back after the party but his parents and brother stayed down there for the rest of the weekend) I casually mentioned to my SO, “Your dad introduced me to her aunt as your ‘girlfriend, I guess’.” He said he hadn’t heard his dad make that remark because he’d been so tired after driving for so long. He seemed slightly irritated about it.
I’m not sure how to take this remark.
Either he doesn’t want to admit that his son is in a relationship with me (his dad recently had issues with me because he’s very political and when he found out I wasn’t planning on voting he got really mad and actually forbade me from coming into his house for a few weeks, and even after that he didn’t talk to me for another two weeks), or there’s a possibility that my SO is planning to propose soon (which I’ve kind of had the feeling it will happen soon, as our anniversary is at the end of the week and the signs are all there) and he didn’t know whether or not to refer to me as a fiance or a girlfriend.
What do you fellows bees think?
(I’m not obsessing over it or anything, I’m just really confused as to what his dad could have possibly meant by it.)
Post # 3
Well I would hope he isn’t that childish to still be upset about your ‘Wright’ to vote for who you want to vote for. So with that being said maybe he didn’t want to slip up and say the wrong thing, by calling your the Fiance…
Post # 4
Im with PP.. I’d hope a grown man wouldn’t be so childish as to say that over a political stand point. Hopefully the proposal is coming soon!
Post # 5
I agree, I hope he’s not still mad. But after that comment he kept trying to get my SO to cancel our anniversary plans this weekend to go with him to a comic book convention. When my boyfriend kept telling him no, that he had plans with me for that day, his dad started telling people his son “stood him up” and finding ways to bring the convention up to people in order to tell them this. The whole situation really irritated me, and now I’m pretty convinced his dad doesn’t care for me that much.
Post # 6
Wow! Well your boyfriend loves you and you can’t please everyone. It’s messed up and he has to learn to respect you before he lose his son.
Post # 7
Maybe its a compliment? Maybe he knows you are in a serious relationship, and doesn’t want to use the term girlfriend. Some people think this term sounds childish ( I don’t, but some people think it smacks of middle school) so he said that. I know people use the word partner for serious adult relationships – maybe that’s why he faltered? Not sure which term to use – girlfriend, partner, fiance, better half LOL?
Post # 8
I don’t know your So’s dad, but I would take the comment with a grain of salt. He kind of sounds like a bit of a jerk 🙁 maybe he was having a bad day, maybe he feels he is losing his son, I don’t know… parents are weird sometimes.
Post # 9
Well, lesson learned. Never, ever, EVER discuss politics with your FIL’s, apparently it’s a hot topic for this guy since he banned you from his home over it, which I am completely blown away by, where was your SO when that went down? A lousy introduction is nothing to be worried over when this man has been so terrible to you in the past, but I would take the bull by the horns at the next opportunity and either introduce myself or have my SO do it so we could avoid that awkwardness in the future.
Post # 10
It’s difficult to say what he meant out of context, but lots of people feel like it’s weird to refer to an grown-up in a serious relationship as a girlfriend/boyfriend. Maybe he was fishing around for a better description (Significant Other? Partner?) and finally settled for the juvenile sounding “girlfriend”. And added “I guess” at the end, because he thought it sounded a bit silly and wished he could have called you something more appropriate. That’s my guess, anyway.
Post # 11
I would be really pissed about that comment too. He sounds like a jerk though, so I would try not to let it bother me, but I would probably fail. I would be waiting for him to say something stupid like that again so I could call him out next time.
In fact at the time of his horrible awkward comment I most likely would have made things REALLY awkward and laughed and said “YOU GUESS?? HAHAHA WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?”, but I am an inappropriate jerk too 😉
Post # 12
My FFIL asked my FI if he loved me…after we’d been together over 2 years, and engaged for 1.
A year later, and I’m still angry about it!
Your boyfriend’s father sounds as big a jerk. I’d keep my distance, do the bare minimum to be polite. He’s not worth stressing over.
Post # 13
If he’s immature enough to ban you from his house for weeks and not talk to you for two weeks, I don’t know why he wouldn’t be immature enough to flat out show his contention for you? I think it depends on his tone of voice, which you obviously cannot portray online – was he more exasperated or confused sounding? If he was “confused” maybe he didn’t remember whether to call you fiance or not. If he was “exasperated,” Id say he just doesn’t like you dating his son. Sorry!
Post # 14
@BubbleTea: Wow how immature, just because you have a different political ideology he banned you from his house? Whaaaat?! LOL…
Just ignore him, try not to fall in his game evening your SO is going to propose you recently, he might get even more mad at you haha so get ready.. Try to ignore his comments, he just has to get used to it..
Post # 15
@BubbleTea: Eh. I wouldn’t read too far into it. My now husband and I dated for 8 years and my Dad would introduce to him people as “Jemma’s… friend???” Almost as if he was unsure of what to say. I’m actually laughing right now just thinking about it. My Dad is silly! Point is, we never really read into it, I know it wasn’t a case of my Dad not liking him or approving of our relationship.
The other stuff though, him forbidding you to the house… that’s a little crazy. That’s when your BF needs to step in and tell his old man to lay off and treat you with some respect.
Post # 16
My FI and I dated four almost four years before we got engaged, and his mother never introduced me as anything other than his ‘friend’ until after we were officially engaged. I wouldn’t take it personally. You’ve talked to your SO and that’s all you can do for now. That, and don’t talk politics with his family!