Post # 1
…Successfully plan a wedding and do well in school, that is.
I have something pretty obvious to say: The first year of law school is hard. Very hard. Planning a wedding during your first semester of law school is even harder. But it seems to be going pretty well for us all things considered–my FI and I are both in law school together and have already started the planning process—picked a date, secured our venues and photographer, guest list and even our bridal party. So excited! No real details yet though.
We just got our first semester grades back and wish they had been better. After analyzing why and looking at ways to improve, I may have come to the sad realization that planning our upcoming August 14th wedding is possibly weakening my focus on my academics. Plus, I tried not to focus on the wedding much at all, except as a five minute sanity-saver. Not saying it’s the wedding’s fault–I have no idea–but I just may not be able to do it all.
We’re having an intimate affair with just family and friends, not a big bash. But we’re pretty much planning/financing the entire thing. So I don’t know what to do, I don’t think it was too much of a distraction, but maybe it was…
I want to get married this summer and plan our big day independently, but also do well in school. Any advice bees? Has anyone else been in the situation of trying to balance two of the most stressful things in their life—planning a wedding and another time intensive activity? Or are we just crazy to think we can do this (like a few people have said haha)?
Post # 3
Have you hired a planner? It really could be your lifeboat. FI and I both started graduate school last semester and it’s been kicking our butts…thank GOD we have a planner.
Post # 4
I’m with you. I work full time, go to school full time and I’m planning a wedding. Right now I’m on break from school, which is wonderful, and gives me time to be on wedding overload.
For me, wedding planning/DIY day is Sunday when I’m in school. I’ve scheduled tastings, meetings, marriage classes for Sundays. I figure out who I need to call and what I need to do during the week, and I do that on my break at work. I pretty much buckle down and focus on school the rest of the week, though I am not in Law school. I’m sure that’s really challenging!
You can do it 🙂 I know you can, because I’m lazy by nature (lol) and somehow I’m managing to do it… slowly yet surely! Don’t ask me how I’m doing during finals week of this, my last semester. (Also happens to be 1 month from our wedding ack).
Post # 5
I’m doing the same thing — planning a wedding while finishing grad school. In fact, our date is set for 2 weeks after my last day of school! So I definitely feel the pain. And I don’t think you’re crazy! I think it’s do-able. Especially considering you are planning what seems to be a more low-key wedding (that’s my plan, too).
I’m not sure what your standard is for grades, and I’m not in law school myself, but friends of mine that are have all told me the first semester was the hardest — you are trying to figure out the new expectations and challenges and how to handle it. I sincerely think it will get better from here. In my own experience, it does get easier as you figure out how to meet expectations easier. I’m nearing the end of my 2nd year of grad school and have been engaged through most of it, too!
The best advice I can give is to prioritize. I’m not sure what your school schedule is like but I know some schools have class only a few hours a day. I find treating school like a full-time job, where you focus on school only from 9-5, and then take the evenings to relax, enjoy your FI and friends, and do some wedding planning helps me to be able to put in the time I need to devote to school work as well as have some balance in my life. Although my balance is FAR from perfect!
Post # 6
I feel you there…. I work 9 to 10 hour days 5-6 days a week in the salon. Plus a few times a month i have work outside the salon that I do… In homes… weddings .. family or friends hair etc.
I thankfully just finished up with my Instructor Training so I am out of school but I still have wasted 6 months with work and life and wedding and holidays and everything else and have not taken my test yet. I really need to get my head in my books because I only have till July to take and pass my Instructors Training or all the money and time is lost because I would have to do the course over again. But I cant seem to get my wedding off my brain. Well my wedding is in July as is My honeymoon and my daughters birthday and the deadline for taking my test.
I really dont know what to do about time management. I am a mother to a lil girl and a furbaby and a Fiance and i just feel like I am being spread so thin.
For me Hiring a wedding planner is just not in the budget and we currently dont have a wedding party …my FH is trying to be as helpful as he can be. I have a huge DIY list but have not done one thing on it yet… I think I will just have ot break down and ask my family and friends for Help
Post # 7
I feel the same way. I’m in med school and planning a wedding and I find myself looking at wedding stuff more than studying (like I am now, haha). And my grades haven’t been the best either. In the first few weeks of being engaged, I definitely put studying on the back-burner because I was so excited about wedding planning and my grades definitely were not the greatest. But you soon develop into a rhythm and it’s good you realize this now. But I’ve had several friends get married while in school so it’s definitely possible! I think it really depends on how much help you get and how to prioritize. I’m not the best at sticking to a schedule, but I try to allow myself like maybe an hour a day or so to relax and plan the wedding and then try to buckle down on everything else. We’re having a longer engagement so that helps a little but we’re going to have our families help out quite a bit. Just like FutureMrs.Harless said, it’s hard to ask for help, but many (at least my family) are excited to help and become involved. My advice is to budget a little bit of time everyday (hopefully you find it relaxing as well!) to do wedding stuff but still spend time on your studies. And perhaps you’ll have to do fewer DIY projects (e.g. invitations) and get someone else to do them. Good luck and if anyone else has advice, I’d love to hear them because I’m still working on the issue a little bit myself 🙂
Post # 8
I’m going to school for surgical technology, working full time, and planning wedding (with a toddler running around the house!) It can happen! 🙂 I do all my schooling and focus on that during the week and weekend when i have homework. The times when we talk about wedding stuff and plan, is at night in bed, or on holidays when I have some time from school. My sister is also acting as wedding coordinator for us, and has really helped a lot. Both of our parents have stepped up and done things for us too. Is there someone you can have help you? It really helps becuase they can do the big basic things and then you don’t have to spend so much time trying to get all that done. Also, spring break, and the beginning of summer are great times to really get some stuff done! Good luck! 🙂
Post # 9
I think it’s possible. First, a lot of people’s grades first semester of law school aren’t everything they hoped and a lot of people improve afterwards completely independant of any weddings. Second, I think it depends a lot on what kind of wedding/wedding planning you are doing. If you go with the basics, food and venue and some sort of music than I think you can do it no problem, if you want everything to be ultra unique and perfect and DIY than you might have a problem. A basic wedding isn’t super hard to plan and can be very very nice while not being very stressful. I think as long as you prioritize school and don’t have unrealistic goals for the wedding you’ll be fine. The truth is that no one can or does study 24/7 so it makes little difference if you watch movies or go drinking or plan a wedding in your non studying time. 🙂
Post # 10
Probably not what you hope to hear, but I decided in my situation, I couldn’t do it. This past year, I worked full time and went to school full time, and I just didn’t have the time or energy to plan the wedding. We only want an intimate wedding, as well, but it still takes time! So we moved it back a year. I will still be really busy this year, too, but this gives me all of the summer to work on things, and then next school year (2010-2011) when I start graduate school, I will only be in grad school, not working outside as well. For us, this was the best option for a number of reasons. Beyond just improving the time and schedule for me, the strain of trying to do it all has led us to bicker incessantly about all things wedding related. By pushing it back, we’re just going to sort of start over with planning. I realize I have absolutely nothing helpful to say to you, but just wanted to commiserate and let you know that you’re a better woman than I for getting that far! Good luck.
Post # 11
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I’m planning as a third year… if there is any way you can swing it, hire a planner. If not, try to confine your decision-making to the breaks.
Honestly, I would put planning on hold this semester. Your first year grades are SO important; prioritizing wedding planning over raising them is really not the best thing for your career. Hopefully you’ve done enough that you can throw the rest together over the summer. If not, consider moving your wedding to next winter break so that you don’t have to distract yourself now.
Post # 12
I’m not planning a wedding at the moment, but I’m a 2L right now, and I have to agree with Spaniel… having the best first year grades possible is sooooo important for your career. If you can find time to schedule wedding planning, then that’s ok, but definitely do everything you need to do for school first. For me, second semester of 1L year was so much easier. If you can, meet with your profs from last semester and go over your exams so you know what you need to work on as far as exam-taking skills go. Good luck!
Post # 13
Wow, thanks so much for all the great advice and support! I really appreciate it. You guys are the best!
Thank you so much being honest and telling me what I may not want to here. Honestly, I’ve thought about postponing things myself. Originally, it was not even our idea to get married this summer, we thought it would be best to wait, but my very traditional parents do not approve of us living together without being married first. So although apprehensive, we got excited and thought, “Why not? We can do it.” And I still think we can. But I now see how anything that takes focus away can be bad, especially in regards to law school.
To easily solve this dilemma, I would love to hire a planner or DOC, but sadly it’s not in the budget for us. So I will certainly take all of your advice to ask for help and further budget my time properly through scheduling and prioritization. I plan on only minimally thinking about planning on a weekend night with my FI, which should be easy enough since our wedding is basic and the big things are done for the most part. Law school is the most important thing right now and deserves 110% of my focus.
Thanks again, and best wishes in planning to my fellow “busy bees” out there!