Post # 1
Please help. I got engaged to an amazing man on Valentines and we went to pick the ring together (after it transpired that if he had picked the ring it might have been rather interesting!!) He is still a PhD student whilst I have been earning for a while and because of that we were limited with our budget. Now admittedly we got a real sparkler, excellent cut and colour D with clarity VVSI but the carat size is 0.34. I can’t help sometimes (well almost a lot of the time) being obsessed about the size although thinking that I would have loved a bigger ring. i know that he has done the best he can at the moment. Am I being unreasonable and princessy and materialistic? Also call me vain but when people see it they say its exquisite (? code word for cute and tiny) or a rather demure “its nice” rather than the “WOW” factor and that is also getting to me. PLease help because I am now torn between a fabulous diamond vrs the size issue ………
Post # 3
I suppose it’s up to you.
If you need a wow factor, then you need a bigger ring.
Pretty much enough said. Is that materialistic? Well, yeah, kinda.
Post # 4
Your ring is nice. And it is a very generous size for someone who is still in school. I suggest that you be happy with what you have for now. In the future maybe you can upgrade. And to be honest it is materialistic. I do understand where you are coming from, but it’s not about the ring, and you know that. There is no worldy posession that will show the rest of the world how great the love you share is, and I think that sometimes this is what we try to do with big hunking diamonds.
Post # 5
I dunno, I guess to me what the ring stands for is way more important than what it looks like. I think your ring is pretty! And if you are on a tight budget, I think that maybe down the road, he can upgrade it to something bigger.
Post # 6
I’ve seen smaller, if that helps. I say be happy you have one, many girls out there don’t!
Post # 7
It’s a beautiful ring. Modest yes. Try not to get caught up with the size of the diamond and give it time to grow on you before you considering a new ring. My Fiance did a good job with my ring especially since I know about how much money he was working with since he got laid off from his job right before he proposed. It won’t be long though before you can put a wedding band next to it! I’d suggest going wedding band shopping before rethinking the engagement ring… you’d be surprised. Here’s a simple band that adds a lot of bling! Can’t wait for it to be on my finger everyday!
Post # 8
In My Humble Opinion, I really think size matters when it comes to diamonds–at least it matters to alot of girls. When I see a small (less than .5) on a girl–I just assume it is a promise ring. nothing more.
Post # 9
Quality over quantity really matters when it comes to diamonds.
Plus if you still want another later on you can always upgrade!
Post # 10
First of all, I think your ring is beautiful! It looks larger than .34 – mine is .71 and honestly doesn’t look that much bigger than yours. I disagree with Aug8 – I would never think that was a promise ring. In fact, I always think rings on the left hand are engagement rings, even if they aren’t diamonds! If I saw your ring, I would compliment it and congratulate you on your engagement.
Having said that, I totally can understand being disappointed because its something that holds a lot of importance. Don’t feel guilty or materialistic for feeling that way. I wanted a slightly bigger one than I have but I am happy with it because of the setting and quality. Still, I sometimes have those nagging thoughts. I think those are totally normal.
The way I get rid of those thoughts is by thinking about my grandmother’s engagement ring. I doubt the diamond is even .1! It is literally a fleck. They got engaged out of high school and it was all my grandpa could afford. Sixty years later, my grandma still wears her “fleck”, but on her pinky as her knuckles have grown with arthritis. On her wedding finger she wears a HUGE diamond ring! My grandpa has bought her so much beautiful jewelry throughout their marriage and she wears it proudly, but the tiny engagement ring still holds such sentimental value. I think you will feel that way about your engagement ring one day. It’s a sign of how far you have come, and that your relationship is about more than material things.
Having said that, cpgirl2000 has the right idea about a sparkly band! I see nothing wrong with you helping pay for it yourself if you are in the financial position, and I think a band like the one she posted would really complement your ring. You could also get it reset in a band with side stones on an anniversary.
Post # 11
You guys went to buy the ring together, right? So, the one you ended up getting was a joint decision. I guess that makes it a little different than if this were something that he picked out and gave you.
I don’t think it’s really anybody’s place to tell you whether you are materialistic. Jewelry is important to some people and not others. I’m not really in to jewelry, so it’s easy for me to say “size doesn’t matter… it’s the meaning behind it that counts.” It sounds like it’s more important to you, though. So who am I to tell you that you shouldn’t be disappointed? If you are, it doesn’t mean that you’re not appreciative or that you love your Fiance any less – it just means that you were hoping for something different than you got. I guess I try to compare it to something that’s important to me… my wedding makeup, for example. I plan on going all out with that, even if it does stretch our budget, because it’s really important to me. I want to “wow” people with my appearance on my wedding day, and I would be disappointed if we hired a makeup artist that wasn’t quite what I was looking for. That doesn’t make me materialistic. It just means that some things are important to me, and some aren’t.
That aside – I think your ring is beautiful. If it’s on your left hand, people are going to know it’s an engagement ring. I used to have a promise ring that was about half the size of yours, and I’d wear it on my left hand sometimes if I didn’t want to be bothered, and everybody assumed it was engagement.
If you want to, down the road, you can always change it up. I’ve had friends who have used their engagement diamonds to build a custom ring, for example.
Post # 12
Is it important that you have a diamond? You could probably get something bigger for the same amount of money if you consider a sapphire or emerald or even morganite or aquamarine.
Post # 14
@bridegrl: I was thinking the same thing
Post # 15
I love your ring. Like you, my engagement ring was about the same size, 1/3 carat. We’ve been married for 28 years and my hubby has always talked about “upgrading” mine to a larger diamond. I always refused as the one I have is the one we bought together and it meant more to me than size. I never thought I’d want a different diamond in it. That is, until I saw my grandmother’s ring that my mom had in a bag. (My grandmother is deceased so my mom got all of her jewelry.) My mom gave me my grandmother’s engagement ring that had a 1 carat diamond in it. That diamond is now in my engagement ring! I love it! As I said, I never wanted a larger diamond before. The only reason I upgraded was because it was something from my grandmother. I would never have upgraded if it weren’t from her. I personally thought that the size of yours (and mine) is a good size. Not too big but certainly not too small. Perhaps after you’re married several years and on your feet financially you could upgrade yours if it really bothers you that much. I also like the idea that someone mentioned about getting a fancier wedding band to go with it. That would “upgrade” it and you could still have the original ring that he bought for you.
Post # 16
I think some of you are being a little harsh here. She is only getting it off her chest just like most of us have done on other posts.
As for the ring I agree with other pp that you should look for a band or enhancer that will give you a little more bling/size that you are looking for. Also, I understand the comments that you are getting from people that look at your ring in person and say “it’s nice” or whatever. I have a beautiful 2ct Aquamarine Halo and some people look at it and go “oh?” Like they were disappointed that it wasn’t a diamond. But I don’t care…. it is what I’ve always wanted.