- 3 years ago
Regular Bee going anon.
I have been with FI for about 8 months. We met last June, got engaged in November and he moved in with me. When we met, it was all rainbows and unicorns. I knew that it was just a honeymoon period but one of the reasons I fell in love with him was that there was nothing wrong – he seemed perfect.
I knew he was a bit of a procrastinator about some things (he didnt finish school, admitted he stayed in previous relationships way too long because it was hard to change). However, when he moved in – it seems like everything changed.
It was almost as if he already had me so he no longer had to put forth any effort. We don’t hold hands anymore, he’ll go to work all day and won’t text or phone (he works retail so he could if he wanted) even if I text him. (I don’t expect him to all day but if I messaged him about something he doesnt even respond).
At the end of November, I told him I thought he was acting different – he admitted he was, and he said he would work on changing things. My birthday was at the beginning of December. He works at a store that has a ton of things but I didn’t get a card or flowers or chocolates or anything. Christmas came and went, same thing. He said he “kept meaning to but time got away from me”. I was super hurt – I just wanted to feel important, like he used to make me feel.
We talked about it at length then and I admitted to him I was starting to feel less. He said he would make more of an effort – try to tell me I was important, help out around the house – little stuff, you know? Nothing changed. We had the conversation in January.
Now, we had it again this weekend. He admits he takes me for granted. Said he loves me so much he can’t imagine me not being in his life. “I know I need to show you better” he says. “But you said that in December, and in January and nothing has changed”.
Bees, I don’t think I’m in love with him anymore. He’s a great guy I care about so much but that passion is gone. My friends and fam would remind me that he’s absolutely wonderful with my kids, and he is, but I’m not in love. There’s no passion. I know there are worse things than being married to my best friend, but I just think that passion is important, you know?
So not only would he have to change some things but I would have to fall back in love. Should we keep trying? When do you say its enough? Maybe I just won’t be happy with anyone?