I'm Not The Only One He Thinks Of :(

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

It is okay for a guy to have fantasies.  Don’t you have fantasies?  It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.

Post # 4
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

DH has an entire picture folder on his computer of Jessica Alba, and gets Maxim every month. While I don’t like him looking at other (basically naked) women, it sure helps my concience when I’m having “personal time” and thinking about my high school English teacher!

Post # 6
Member
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Boys are boys. They look, it happens. My step-dad and I had a frank conversation about this one time. The looking thing, its just a thing men do. It doesn’t mean they want to ravage the woman. Men just plain look. A lot. Its built right in.

I wouldn’t be offended by it. If there’s no actions behind it, I’d consider it just a thing that pretty much all men do!

Post # 7
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I remember my cultural anthropology professor was saying that all men look for the variety..which means that some men actually cheat on their wives, fiances …while others look at other women and have fantasies…He told us that it is great when a guy is able to satisfy his urge for variety by looking only..because it is really the best way possible…:)

 

Post # 8
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Okay. Srsly… we see these posts all the time here. Girls getting upset that their guy has racy pictures on his phone/computer, their guy looks at porn, their guy masturbates.

Do you know why we see these posts all the time?

Because guys look at racy pictures and porn and they masturbate.

It has nothing to do with you or even his opinion of you. It’s actually perfectly normal for guys to do this. Heck, it’s normal for girls to do this. I have plenty of hot guy pictures on my computer.

 

Post # 10
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@katiebeary:  I think it’s a little unreasonable to expect anyone to never want to look at a variety of attractive people. I mean, he’s not out there chasing girls or flirting or anything, he’s just looking at attractive pictures. Him looking at them does not mean he doesn’t like looking at you too.

I’m sure he’d stop if you asked him, or at least be more discreet, but I don’t see why he should have to. It’s just normal healthy behavior, not indicative that he’s bored with you or anything, try not to take it too personally.

Post # 12
Member
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

And you probably never be the only one he thinks of but you’re the one he married.  Put this nonsense behind you and be happy.  He probably loves the way you look when you get home in your scrubs wearing no makeup.  He smell might be questionable though.  🙂

Post # 13
Member
4494 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Any dude that tells you he doesn’t fantasize about other people is lying to you.  When your husband tells you he’s perfectly happy, I’m sure he’s telling you the truth.  I know you just fantasize about him, but you’ve also been having sex for just a few months – that part of your relationship’s still fresh and new.  Down the road you may find fantasies help spice things up.  

Post # 14
Member
4072 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I saw a smokin’ shirtless picture of Joe Manganiello (who plays Alcide on True Blood) the other day. That is one fine specimen of man. Did it make me think less of my FI? Not at all. I still lust after my FI because I’m madly in love with him. I’m not going to hop onto a Joe look-alike and leave my FI. There’s a connection with my man, and I’m not going to ruin that.

And it’s the exact same thing with your husband. He’s looking at some scantily clad or naked women because the human body can sure be a pretty thing. It doesn’t mean he hates you or your body, or that he’s in line to leave you for the next hot girl he sees.

Post # 15
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@katiebeary:  I’m sure that your SO loves you just the way you are and it’s nothing that you’re doing wrong. Everybody thinks of other people sexually at some point, even if they are in a relationship. I’m sorry but it’s human nature and if you try to make your husband go against these normal, natural feelings then it will damage your relationship. I mean are you telling me you have NEVER gushed about how hot Ryan Gosling is to your friends when you’re a little drunk or something? 

Post # 16
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@katiebeary:  I think you should start trying harder for YOU, not him. That’s what I’ve been doing & I feel fantastic.

Guys will look at sexy models online. I know my FI would never in a million years think of being with another woman (& frankly, he couldn’t do better lol) but I understand that he might like to look at girls online like Jessica Beil or Jessica Alba.

It’s just a fastasy.

Now, if he went to a strip club it would be a TOTALLY different story, but I figure if all I have to worry about it him looking at model online, I must be doing a good job of keeping him happy in life, and in the bedroom 🙂

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