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((HUGS)) trust me you can definitely come back from the edge, but perhaps let him know that a lot of planning money etc comes into the proposal and you want to make sure you have time for everything.
I hope I come back soon. I sound like one of "those" women I said I'd never be. :(
I need to refocus on something else!
Eh, I see that "it won't be a surprise if I tell you" excuse here on the boards and eeeeeh, when it's a question of what week yeah okay but what year? I don't buy it. I mean, I'm sure he's being sincere but I don't think it's a valid excuse. It's kind of assholish.
First, guys doing this huge build up where it has to be a surprise is why there are so many posts about girls disapointed with their proposals.
Second, you deserve to know where he is in respect to your relationship. If he doesn't want to get married till five years from now you deserve to know that so you can make decisions based on that.
Now if he doesn't know when he'll be ready that's one thing but to refuse to tell you just out of spite/desire for surprise is another.
Of course guys don't get it - because in this situation they are the ones with the power instead of miserable. But they only have that power if you give it to them, if you follow Mr. Bees well recieved plan and let him know that you won't wait forever if marriage is important to you you can neutralize it a little bit.
Thanks. I was upset he wouldn't even tell me a year. Granted, we've only been together for a year and I may be a little on the edge for such a short period of time compared to some people, but I'm not 22 anymore.LOL
I'm ashamed to say I haven't read Mr.Bee's advice...guess I need to go on over there and see what the buzz is about.
Yeah, lame. I know.LOL
maybe tell him that your having one of those 'oh my goodness i'm turning 29 and that's very close to 30' moments and that's why the topic is on your mind. has he said it's definitely happening within the next 5 years? you could always tease him and say 'well if you don't propose by the time i turn 31, then i just might have to propose to you.
i turned 29 last month and it hasn't quite sunk in...i mean, i almost said i was 28 the other day when someone asked how old i was. i've told mr. banana that i want to be married before i turn 30, even if that's just a secret courthouse wedding (that would also allow me to go on his insurance when my cobra runs out next january if i don't have my own insurance by then).
@MsMamaBear
I'm in the just-turned-29 category too, as well as many of my friends. I thought I was alone in feeling the need to reevaluate EVERYTHING and feeling a little (or a lot, at times!) insecure about being 29, but I've found almost all of my friends are going through similar anxieties and self-evaluations.
No real suggestions, but just know you're not alone! Maybe articulating these anxieties are also really helpful for you figuring out the root of some of your feelings! (For me, it was/is!)
*Hugs*
Bananagirl- He said it would be before I am 30. So he has a year and 3 months. I told him I'm freaked out and he said I'm not old, blah, blah, blah. Ok, I didn't say blah, blah, blah, but he has a son already, he doesn't have eggs that may expire soon.lol I'm trying not to think about it, but that 29 is kinda scary.
Snow- Thanks. I vent in my blog and try to figure out what's going on. I think I'm going through another quarterlife crisis, but it's a last-year-in-your-twenties crisis.lol I was fine in December, but Jan 1st, it took off. And the wondering when took off also.
You're so patient! That response from him would have driven me crazy. I mean, I understand how men want to surprise us, but if it's something that you're clearly concerned/upset about, having a clarifying conversation about your future seems WAY more important than keeping a proposal year secret. I would at least want to know what page is he on -- whether he was sure about me, what his timetable was looking like.
I completely understand about sounding like one of "those women" that you never thought you'd be. I'm so there! I can't believe how much I think about it sometimes.
Yeah, it has driven me crazy when I think about it. He's told me before I'm 30, but that's not what I want to hear. He could do it April 27, 2011.LOL
Anywho, we'll see. I'll focus on other things for now. Times like this makes me wish I had another degree to work on.LMAO
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So, I've been going insane about not being engaged, then being 3 months away from my 29th birthday. *horrified face*
Anyway, I asked my SO about this. I asked when we'll get engaged. He said he won't tell me. I asked if he can tell me if it will be this year. He said, "No, how would it be a surprise if I told you, baby, I'll propose this year. I won't get the look and movement." (he shook his hands and body like someone going into convultions.)
I told him he'd get the same reaction, not like I'd hate him for doing it.
I just had to vent ladies. I told him I feel like I'm getting old and he said I'm not, but he's a man. He doesn't understand.
I try not to think about a timeline on life and I don't, but I'm getting older.
I think this 29th birthday is affecting me more than my 30th will. *head hits ottoman*