Post # 1
So my husbands “father” got remarried a really long time ago. He never calls or stops over even though he lives about 5 minutes away. My husband calls him from time to time to catch up but his dad says he hates talking on the phone. Long story short…his dads wife has 3 sons. One of them put on facebook all the pictures of his and girlfriends baby shower. I replied congrats on the baby and wish we would have known about it. That set off a huge fight. Suddenly its my husbands fault that no one knows about anything…hes antisocial…and so on. One of the step kids that my husband helped raised says that its all my husbands fault that his dad left. Really?? dad left when he was 8. he left his mom and him and brother for another woman with 3 little children. One of those kids tried to tell me that his father was such a great man. Im sorry but a “great man” doesnt leave his wife and kids for another woman. He doesnt say hes going out for smokes on Sunday and come home on Wednesday. He doesnt come home and give his wife crabs after a weekend jaunt. He doesnt come home drunk and try to sleep with his son because he doesnt know the difference. Im so mad right now. My husband needed a co signer for a student loan after high school to go to college. His mom couldnt help because she was recovering financally from the divorce and his “dad” refused because he thought he wouldnt pay the loans back…but one of his step kids needs to go to rehab in california TWICE and he puts a second mortgage on his house to help him.
Sorry. I just needed to vent. These people are toxic jerks.
Post # 3
@bridgette soon to be mrs fitz: sorry bee, this sounds awful. And he seems like such a peice of work. It’s really your husbands final decision, but perhaps he should put into writing everything he feels, send it, and cut him off.
Some people are just not worth it, and it seems this man has caused enough pain in his life.
Post # 4
@bridgette soon to be mrs fitz: VENT away! I’m sorry you have to deal with these people. I would just ignore them and continue to demonstrate to your husband how you do love and respect him unlike these relatives. Hugs.
Post # 5
@bridgette soon to be mrs fitz: They do sound toxic. Vent away, and I hope that your DH is hanging in there. I can’t imagine how tough it must be to be handed accusations like that by your “family”.
Post # 6
His dad sounds like a shitty guy….all the more reason why your husband shouldn’t be asking him for favours, or accepting anything where he might “owe” him later.
I do think it’s kind of hypocritical to complain about him, and how toxic he is, but then basically ask him for money (which co-signing on a loan is). It’s probably for the best he said no. If he co-signed you might be forced to have him in your life until the loan is paid off.
Post # 7
@sara_tiara: he asked for a loan when he graduated high school. Hes 41 now. But the step kid went to rehab a couple years ago… after he got out of jail for robbing a vet clinic
Post # 8
Sorry you and your FI are going through this Bee. It sounds like his father is really toxic and your FI is probably better off keeping him at a distance. If at all possible, I would stop as much contact as I can with them and let your FI deal with it.
Post # 9
- Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
That really sucks 🙁 my dh also has a toxic dad and he’s finally cut off all ties with him. I know it was hard on him since that’s his dad and no matter what he just wanted his approval. Sigh, I don’t understand how one could act like that, but I wish you and your so luck in whatever you choose to do.