Post # 1
We have a couple we hang out with regularly. I went to grad school with the girl and she used to be a party girl. However, now that we are both married I assumed that wasn’t the case anymore especially given how straight-laced her husband is. Every time we hung out in the past, she was fine and we had fun.
Last time we saw them, she kept touching my husband. It was small things at first, like touching his arm, and eventually led to her literally trying to grab his penis. The multiple hugs were too long and she was just being completely inappropriate.
This was all in front of her husband and despite my husband’s numerous protests (including literally pushing her away and saying she might want to switch to water). My husband told her she was an obnoxious drunk, but I don’t see that as an excuse. Her husband kept telling her to stop it but she just wouldn’t get a clue.
It got to a point where I was going to knock her out, so we left. I was so doped up on cold medicine that I wasn’t thinking straight and I wish I had of done more or said more but I didn’t. Also, she recently sent him a request on LinkedIn, which he immediately told me about and thought was weird. I thought nothing of it at the time and told him to accept – I am going to delete her off it now.
We’ve been friends for years. Would you end the friendship? Do I say something or just stop talking to her?
Post # 3
If this is an isolated incident, and she was really, really drunk, I would try to get over it. If she has done this more than once and had her wits about her, then I would probably be in jail because I’m a crazy jealous psycho.
Post # 4
I would say something first to give her a chance but ultimately I see the friendship falling apart.
i had the same thing happeN a few years ago. My friendkept getting all touchy feely with my bf at the time but I let it go because I knew he wasnt at all interested. It wasn’t until the night we were all hanging out and she kept begging him to leave me to lay with her on the blanket on the floor that I finally said something. Guess I was more frustrated than I thought because I told her off and everyone was shocked by how blunt I was about it, I’m not typically that type of person.
i went through the same thing as a teen as well but I didnt care about the guy so I didn’t care enough to be bothered by it. Out of respect for myself I should have stood up to her I just didn’t care. She and I are still friends
Post # 5
I wouldn’t be friends with someone like that.
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
My reaction would depend on how close I ws to theis friend. If we were very close, I’d ask to have a chat and let her know that I had an issue with her behavior and that it was a friendship deal breaker if it happened again.
If she wasn’t that close a friend, I wouldn’t be pursuing the friendship.
Post # 7
I had a girl do that to my DH when he was still my BF.
We can be civil to one another in the same room, but we are DEFINITELY not friends any more!
That being said, if she calls you today and profusely appologizes for her behavior (and maybe cries a little), I think the relationship could be salvaged. But no phone call, no forgiveness in my book!
Post # 8
I don’t think I could get over that without a sincere apology. If she wanted to remain friends, I would expect at least a text in the next few days. In that ideal situation, she was super drunk and when she sobered up she was really embarrassed about it.
If she doesn’t apologize…we would not be hanging out with them again. I’m even wary of girls my boyfriend tells me were casually flirting with him! One night this girl was really trying to get him to go to a friend’s house with a group, but instead he came home to me. He told me about it, and the next time we saw her I smiled briefly and ignored her (we don’t really know each other) because I did NOT want to interact with her. And that was pretty innocent, I can’t even imagine how I would feel if she was getting physical with him.
Bottom line is that if she doesn’t respect you enough to respect your relationship, then there’s no point in being friends.
Post # 9
What the H3LL kind of friend is that ?
Ya, I’d be done.
And I think Mr TTR would agree with me on it too.
We have always made it a policy to protect our relationship from outsiders (hence WHY we have an agreed upon the “Don’t socialize one-on-one with Members of the Opposite Sex Rule”).
Gotta admit tho this gal has brass-balls if she’s gonna get this “cozy” with your Hubby right in front of your face…
That is beyond obnoxious.
It sucks when people cannot respect common sense relationship boundaries.
More so when you like to think they were people you once upon a time could trust.
Lol… on the “I was going to knock her out” statement… I don’t blame you one bit !!
— — —
Like @Mrslovebug: this happened to me when I was younger… College days… I had a very insecure GF who thought the guy I was seeing at the time was “dreamy”. She hit on him, he seemed to like the attention.
THEY WERE BOTH DONE… right then and there.
Nothing ever became of the two of them… but they both individually tried to get back into my Good Books…
I told each of them, that I expected more from my important friendships. They got the message…
I never heard from either of them again, and I didn’t care any more about either of them.
Post # 10
@MrsPanda99: she’s crossed the line.
a true friend would never disrespect you, your friendship or your dh in that way.
Post # 11
Thank god your husband told her to back off…but seriously, I’d end that friendship and tell her exactly why. Don’t let her tell you that it’s just playing or that you’re being insecure…she is a DB and I would let her know that you’re both disgusted with how she acted. She doesn’t respect her marriage, or yours, and ultimately she doesn’t respect herself and she might want to start with working on that. Be strong.
Post # 12
I would be honest and tell her exactly what she did and how f*ed her behavior was. If you don’t say anything and start acting differently around her (i.e. going phone silent) more than likely she’s going to assume it’s YOU who has the problem and not think twice about her sh*tty behavior.
Also, you don’t say how close you are to this girl. So if it isn’t a super close BFF type friendship, I’d let this friendship go. Whenever a female friend crosses that line with your man (alcohol related or not) it’s really hard to go back to the way things were because you can’t ever 100% trust them again. Life’s too short to waste time hanging around crappy women who can’t keep their hands to themselves and their own man.
Post # 13
It sounds like she was REALLY drunk, and might not have been especially with it at the time. I don’t necessarily think this is an excuse though…it seems she was fixated on your husband while drunk which leads me to believe that she probably (at the very least) is truly attracted to your DH and got a little (lot) uninhibited.
For me remaining friends would be dependent on whether I considered her a close friend, and whether she realized how inappropriate her behavior was. I think that it would be difficult for me to remain friends with someone who had actively tried to engage in that kind of behavior with my husband though. In any case, I would never allow her to be near my DH one on one.
Post # 14
You need to get a real phone apology from her and then maybe have girl time. I am way too jealous though for that. All teases and exes need to get their own.
Post # 15
What situation led to her “literally trying to grab his penis”? How does that even happen?
Post # 16
@winstonchurchill: Right? She was looking for something and after jokingly patting down her husband, she moved over to mine. The object in question was the same shape as a penis (a remote). Seriously? It makes me so mad to even think of it.