Post # 1
Before DH and I were engaged, I moved to AZ to be with him to end the long distance in our relationship. I’m very thankful his parents generously offered to allow me to move in. However, I hated the fact there was never any privacy, and I couldn’t find stable work in my field. After we got engaged, we decided to move to Houston where I had family and more stable work. However, shortly after the wedding my work contract ended, and I’ve been unemployed for almost two months. My new contract is supposed to start next week but it’s only guaranteed to last until the summer. Because we are worried about finances, DH suggested the idea that he return to AZ for the summer to work for his parents to help save up. Now the more we talk about it, the more he wants to us move back to AZ permanently. It doesn’t help matters that crazy drama keeps flaring up with my siblings. I keep running a pros and cons list in my head, and it’s driving me insane. =(
Pros to Moving to AZ:
- His family is really close and extremely supporting. Something my family is not. It would be a more peaceful life with his side of the family. I’m sick of the family drama.
- DH is guaranteed a well paying job managing his family’s businesses that will accomodate his school schedule. His income would cover our bills.
- My MIL and FIL would allow us to stay rent free for as long we we needed to help us to save.
- My psoriasis cleared up up living there (random, but great side benefit).
Cons to Moving to AZ:
- It was very hard for me to find work the first time around, and I was getting really depressed bc of it. I worked hard for my degree, and it kills me if I can’t use it.
- DH has lost his AZ residency so he would sit a year out of school before he becomes eligible for in-state tuition. We can only afford the tuition if it’s in state bc we don’t want any more student loans. This would sets us back another year in his education which sucks bc we were waiting until DH was almost done with school before TTC. I would be 34 instead of 33 at this time.
- I hated living with my in-laws the first time. Though they’re nice people, there’s no privacy at all, and I felt I could never relax bc I knew it wasn’t my house.
- It pushes my plans to return to school back one year until I can get AZ residency to afford the in state tuition.
We go to visit his parents in a few weeks for his niece’s baptism, and DH wants to give our decision to his parents then. His parents need to know ASAP bc if he’s returning to work for them they need to begin allowing him to catch up on the new developments of the company. I’m so torn!!! Ughhh! Being an adult sucks!
Post # 3
Wow what a hard decision. I personally would move back to AZ where he is going to have a good paying job. I know you have a job through the summer but he has a perm job that is guaranteed. I don’t agree with moving in with the inlaws. If he is working and you are looking for work, get your own apt if you can’t/don’t want to buy yet. You need your privacy, while it’s great the IL’s would allow you to live there, it’s not ideal and it seems like you like them however if you live there and hated it the first time round I guarantee you’ll hate it again especially after not living with them for awhile.
Post # 4
@Bazinga: +1 It’s hard, but I think you should move back for the stable job and the supportive family environment. But I also think you two should try and find your own apt or house within a few months of getting there.
Post # 5
Well, if it were me the pros of him having a stable and well paying job would out weigh the cons. Could you move in with the in laws temporarily and get even just part time work in retail or a restaurant or something to help with the savings and moving into your own place until you can find a job in your field? It isn’t ideal but then you could get out on your own sooner and that would be one less con. That is a hard choice either way. Most of the cons I see would be temporary while the pros of good work would be much longer term. The only major one long term would be TTC, but given how long many people try and that pregnancy is almost as long as a year of school, you could potentially still start trying when you originally wanted and not HAVE a baby until he is out of school.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Stable job and homelife trump financial struggles in my book. The fact that you made a list of the pro’s and con’s of AZ indicate to me that AZ is the more considerable choice. What are the pro’s and con’s for Houston?
Post # 7
@Olive12: I’d move back to Arizona and find your own place.
God, I’d kill to live in Arizona. I live in Alberta, Canada, and we go to Arizona on holiday! I can’t stand the weather here… six months of miserable winter.
We’ll be in Az next week, can’t wait!
Post # 8
Some things to consider…
Can you move back to AZ but NOT live with his parents?
It sounds like where you currently live your DH doesn’t have a great job, and if you move to AZ then it will be you struggling with work. Whose job is more important? And when I say more important, I basically mean whose pays more and matters more when it comes to the bottom line and paying bills.
School being pushed back is obviously a concern, but if you stay where you’re at do you even make enough to afford tuition, since the job situations are less secure there?
Post # 9
I live in Tucson, so I’m biased. 🙂 Move to AZ!
In reality, it seems the job situation would be better in AZ. Housing is cheap here though – why not get some inexpensive house or apartment to rent? Moving in with the in-laws sounds a bit rough. Also – could he take community college classes while he gets residency? It’s much much cheaper than university prices. Or is there an online college in Texas he can take classes from while he gets residency (we have Rio Salado here in AZ, not sure if there is an equivalent in TX)?
Post # 10
Why is HIS employment more important than yours? Personally, I would not move to Arizona unless I wanted to.
Post # 11
Thanks ladies for reading my novel and weighing in. You all make great points. I have some serious thinking to do. =/
Post # 12
Id Stay where you are.. For now. Dh should be going to school full time and getting his degree. No need to waste a year in Az to save some money. Sometimes you have to spend money to make money. ESP if his degree is useful and he will make enough money pay off any loans. You two can move to Az at anytime and maybe you two should make that the end goal?