Post # 1
So, I got engaged a few months ago, and am planning a wedding in 2012. A family friend was also planning on getting engaged. She just did, and was hoping for a wedding in fall 2011. During this past spring, we were talking about venues, and she mentioned that she was in love with this one place (I’ll just call it place A). She said that she would be so upset and devastated if anyone else used “her” venue. Well, we wrote that off our list (though we thought about it, we never even contacted anybody for prices). When I got engaged, I found a venue that I am in love with (I’ll just call in place B).
Well, when the family friend got engaged last week, she got pricing for place A. She realized that they were going to be nickel and diming her. A family member of mine told her about my place. Now, she’s all excited about it and wants to use it.
Normally, I wouldn’t care, but because she made such a huge deal about her place, it makes me feel awkward. I know that I am not the only person to use this venue, that many others do. It’s just that she was “staking claim” on her original place, and I know she would have thrown an absolute fit if I had used hers.
I do know that this place does book quickly, so if she wants her original date, it probably isn’t available. She may have to wait an extra year, and it would be after mine. That would be fine. I just want to be the first one to use it. Since my fiance and I have had to wait so long to be engaged, a lot of ideas have been taken, and we (well, I) just want this one thing. In the grand scheme of things, it won’t matter, and that’s what I have to remind myself. Besides, there’s no reason in getting uptight about it until it actually happens (if it does). Had she just not made such a huge spectacle before, this wouldn’t be an issue!
Post # 3
You could always address it with her if you really felt ok about it. Do you have your date reserved at that venue for sure?
Post # 4
I’d just say, “Look you didn’t want me to use your venue, so please understand and respect the same guidelines for mine.” I’m sure she’ll understand.
Post # 5
I would probably make a joke about it to let her know the scene didnt go unnoticed, but then let it lie.
I would say something like “Well they say imitation is the best flatter.! You must love me to be using my venue!” and then talk about something else.
Post # 6
It definitely wouldn’t be cool for her to use the same venue as you, after making a big deal about how you couldn’t use ‘her venue’. Definitely say something. Maybe like “haha, it’s kinda ironic that you asked me not to use your wedding venue and now you are thinking about using mine heh”.
I think it would only bother me if her wedding was going to end up being BEFORE yours.
Post # 7
Thanks everyone 🙂
I did a little bit of research last night. I talked to my sister (who is going to be in the friend’s wedding). I asked her, “So, I heard that ‘Ann’ isn’t going to use Place A? I thought that was her dream!” My sister replied with what she knew. I said, “Yeah, I heard she wants to use my venue now.” She said that they were still going to be looking around.
@TealaB: You are exactly right…I would be mad if it was going to be before mine. Right now, they are trying for that, but considering that they are going to be somewhat late in the game booking for this time next year, there’s a good chance it won’t be available. I’m not trying to wish anything bad on them, I’m just being realistic.
So, we’ll see. I’m trying to just relax about it…there are a TON of places where we live, and she could easily end up choosing somewhere else.
Post # 8
I was the same way. A few friends of mine have gotten married at gorgeous places, but I didn’t want to get married somewhere my friends had been to a wedding before, I wanted a place “of our own”. I wouldn’t mind if someone got married at our venue after us, I just wanted to be the first in our circle of friends 😉 Maybe she’ll pick another venue, but if not, you and DH will have a great time visiting the place again after. Maybe you could request your first dance song from the DJ, that would be so nice to dance to it again in the same place!!
Post # 9
@keepsmiling19: It sounds like you guys are 2 different ppl, in regards to ways of dealing with things. She is clearly a MINE kind of person, while it seems your not. I can understand wanting your venue to be yours alone, but to be upset with her based on the fact that she ‘laid claim to Place A’ and now whats yours, isnt a very realistic argument. How close are you to this person? Is sitting and having a mature talk with her about this possible? She may still want the place, so be prepared for that, and consider how willing you really are to let this effect you. No matter what, that day, at that venue will always be yours, no one can take that away from you.
Post # 10
Eh, I’m going to give a minority opinion here. I understand that it’s frustrating given her initial attitude about “her” preferrred spot, but honestly, even if she ended up getting married before you in the same place that you’re looking at now, I’d tell you not to get worked up about it or even make subtle comments about it. There’s not always a lot of options when choosing a venue…if you’re trying to stay in a certain price point and you want a certain kind of look/feel for your reception venue, then it may be that there just aren’t that many places to choose from!
Every venue hosts plenty of weddings every year and each one is different and special because it’s different people every time. Y’all may have the same venue but your weddings will be different! Try not to get hung up on the situation. In the grand scheme of things, it’s just not worth the energy. 🙂 I also wouldn’t bother to discuss it with her, because if she’s the kind of person to try to lay claim to a reception venue and then latch onto “your” place when that fell through, she probably wouldn’t get your point of view anyway and it will just create drama.